Wellness

My wellness journey is a long, complicated, ongoing process. There have been many ups and downs along the way. This page will be dedicated to my journey in post-nomadic life (after August 2017). Before then, I had 1) extreme weight gain due to an eleven-year illness, 2) a gradual 105-lb weight loss, 3) a two-year maintenance of a healthy weight, and 4) a major relapse and 80-lb regain due to many, many factors. The details about all these sections of my journey are available on my Wellness: Before page.

Nomadic life is now over for me. (Whew!) I began my new life-of-permanence with a goal to lose 85 lbs. My process involves:

• lots of exercise! I lose primarily through exercise and prefer this to cutting calories. I enjoy a lot of types of exercise, including yoga, walking, running, aquafit, dancing, and circuit training
• eating a healthy-but-reasonable diet with a wide variety of produce and as much whole, real foods as possible, with my carbohydrate levels staying on the high side due to the amount of exercise I do
• working on my mental health to overcome disordered eating habits, body-image issues, and trauma-related fears and triggers

However – and this is very important to me – this is not just a weight loss journey. Instead, I’m on a wellness journey. I want to be truly healthy – in mind and heart as well as in body. I want to celebrate my body no matter its size. I want to embrace life, and embrace myself, and love me for who I am. I want to be strong, flexible, healthy, kind, and confident – physically, mentally, emotionally; internally and externally. It will be no easy task, and it will take time, support, and tremendous efforts. But I am worth it.

Current Weight Progress
3 of 85 lbs lost – 4% (as of 1/1/20)

Resources and Inspiration:
• Alee and The Wellness Room, who taught me how amazing therapy can be
• Brittany Gibbons, aka Brittany Herself: her TED talk, her book Fat Girl Walking, and her general body positivity
• Molly Galbraith, especially her 28-Day Love Your Body Challenge
• Finding What Feels Good – Yoga With Adriene focuses on building a positive relationship with your body
• Birthmarkings: the post-birth-body self-image documentary that started my journey toward body-positivity (particularly the mother who comes in at 16:48, whose belly looks a lot like my post-pregnancy belly looked before surgery in January 2014)
• Julia Kozerski‘s truthful photo-journey about the post-weight-loss body reality (note: photo journal at the first link includes male and female nudity)
• Katya Zharkova (a Belarusian plus-size model and actress) and her campaign to show straight-size and plus-size modeling for what they are. Examples available (with pictures, and nudity warning) at The Daily Mail and Styleite.
• Jessamyn Stanley and Amber Karnes for showing that yoga can be for every body and every size.
• This article on the pitfalls of low/low-ish carb diets.
• Particularly helpful and/or inspiring books: Come As You Are, It Was Me All Along, Elena Vanishing, The Body Keeps the Score, The Case Against Sugar, Great Courses: Stress and Your Body
• All my loving friends and family, for believing in me, for cheering me on, for never judging me on my size or failures, for insisting that I’m worth it whenever I falter and forget. Thank you.
• More to come – and suggestions welcomed!

Particularly Significant Posts:
– My Weight Journey: Timeline
– On Starting A Brand New Journey (8/24/15)
– On Deferred Grief (9/30/15)
– On PTSD (10/21/15)
– On Abdominal Surgery (1/13/16)
– On Therapeutic Yoga (3/30/16)
– On Choosing Exercise You Love (2/8/17)
– On the Subjectivity of Longterm Loss (10/11/17)
– On Body Positivity (11/29/17)
– On the Problem With Calories (12/6/17)
– On Depression and Weight (12/13/17)
– On Returning to Basics (3/21/18)
– On Focusing on the Journey (6/21/18)
– On Doctors and Women (7/11/18)
– On Analyzing Patterns (12/12/18)
– On Letting Go (12/19/18)
– On Ending the War with my Body (2/27/19)
– On Eating More Carbs (4/3/19)
– On Hiding in Plain Sight (9/11/19)
– On Deciding Not to Hide Anymore (1/15/20)

Last updated: 1/15/20