London 2026, part 1

Posted on November 6, 2026 by Thistle

Oh hey, look at me trying to write this my trip in August at last!

Day 0 – Aug 14: travel to London. Uneventful day. And yes, I’m going day by day because that’s going to be the easiest way to describe this trip!!

Day 1 – Aug 15: St James Park, bookshops, Tavistock Square, Berwick St. This was a very long day of exploration! I can’t even remember how many miles Rainstorm and I walked. We visited the Bench (obviously), then walked up from St James Park to the Soho area. We found Hatchards and spend some time in there before lunch. After lunch, we went over to Gay’s the Word, then read a bit on the Other Bench in Tavistock Sq. Fascinatingly, the sticker we saw of Aziraphale and Crowley on the garbage can in Tavistock Sq last year was still there, still going strong. I’m astonished by how long it’s lasted. Eventually, we meandered down Berwick St and made our way around to the vegan place where we had dinner reservations. It was a lovely first day.

Day 2 – Aug 16: Brick Lane, Spitalfields. We stuck closer to home this day, heading a few blocks over to the Sunday market. We wandered both Brick Lane and Spitalfields, and I bought way too much because I always do, and we ate at the giant food hall in Spitalfields. At first, I didn’t find the empanada guy I loved so much last year, but after I ate my meal, I found him (he was set up in a side passage) and I got my empanada! I was ridiculously excited about that. Even though I’d already eaten.

Day 3 – Aug 17: Sky Garden, St Dunston’s, a jaunt down to southbank, the arrival of a friend. It was a day to hit up more spots we’ve already visited and loved. We started at St Dunston’s, just hanging out in the peaceful area and taking photos for a few hours. Then we moved on for a noon-ish reservation to eat at Sky Garden. Turns out the breakfast menu last year was better, but the a la carte wasn’t bad this year either. Spent some more time taking photos in the Garden, and then went back to the hotel until our f

riend from the Netherlands arrived. CS was staying at the same hotel as us, and after she had a few hours to settle in, the three of us walked south and crossed over the bridge to the southbank. We got Greek food for dinner and then made our way back to the hotel, where we had a few drinks to cap off the night.

Day 4 – Aug 18: St James Picnic, Banksy, Pride the Musical. While it seems like a lot was going on before this, this is where our itinerary actually started to get busy! Thankfully, we could get a slow start on this morning. All three of us (Rainstorm, CS, and me) took the bus down to the St James Park area. We meant to arrive early and do some other things, but the bus was rerouted and took three times as long as it should have to get us there. We were still a bit early, but we only had time to go look at the new Banksy statue before we headed over to the picnic area. One person had already arrived, so we all got things started. Soon, there were nearly three dozen folks sitting around to enjoy the GO world together.

This was my first time hanging out with a large group of GO people since the finale divided the fandom. I was a bit wary, but it turned out to be really nice. And it was lovely to see so many familiar faces again. When Ruby and Jo arrived, Rainstorm and I jumped up screaming to hug them both. They were two of the best friends we made last year, and it was sooooo good to see them again. There was also a great moment with a friend called Floofy. I took pictures of her in several different cosplays last year, and never realized it was the same person until much later – and I also didn’t connect her at all with her username on discord, so I started joking that she was a chameleon and I would never recognize her. She showed up at the picnic and I didn’t recognize her. Of course. It took like half an hour until she said something that made me realize who she was, and then I was like oh fuck, what did I do, and she cracked up laughing. She had decided to let the bit play out, and had been waiting for me to realize who she was . We both had a really good laugh about it and took a photo together.

After the picnic, Rainstorm and I walked down to the southbank with two others, Lin and Marsh, where we got some amazing Cuban food before heading over the the National Theatre area for Pride (the Musical). We met up with a bunch of others, though few of us were sitting near each other. The musical was absolutely brilliant and heartwrenching at the same time. Afterwards, our group got a big group photo in front of the Pride sign and then we all split up to head home long after midnight.

I think that’s where I’m going to leave this post. More to come hopefully soon!

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Strangest Version of Homesickness

Posted on November 4, 2026 by Thistle

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not actually homesick, despite the title. When I left Texas in July, I was already aware that there would be certain things I would miss: HEB, pizza (I don’t like the way it’s made in Germany), a/c, American laundry machines (though tbf, this might only have to do with what I currently have access to and not a German-wide thing), and easily accessible cold brew from the store. Those were things I knew from living here last year, and from other moves in the past (I will miss HEB no matter where I go!). Since moving here, I’ve only added one item to the list: pickles. (Why are all the pickles here either made with sugar, or if no sugar, made to be salty only with no sour???)

Other than those things, I love Germany. I love that hotel rooms come with blankets for both people, because no one expects you to share even if you’re in the same bed. I love that everyone minds their own business instead of making small talk in retail situations. I love the language and the literal-ness of it. I love the public transportation options even if the German train system is famous for being literal garbage. I love the concept of Abendbrot, and that it’s very German to just eat cereal for dinner, and the windows with their metal shutters, and so much more.

But that isn’t the point of this post. I recently had a really bizarre thing happen. I was winding down for bed, listening to an audiobook and playing Octordle, when I had a sensory-based memory flashback. This wasn’t based on any one particular memory, but on a thing I did multiple times in my decades in San Antonio. There’s one strip center that I used to visit pretty regularly. It had Half Price Books, my dentist, a specialty grocery store, and a few other things. I didn’t go more than a few times a year, but I went often enough that I’ve been there quite a number of times. Whenever I went that way, after I was done with whatever errand or appointment I was on, I would drive up to this one stop sign and wait my turn to go right down toward the highway access road. Because the parking lot had very little shade and this was Texas, my car would invariably still be hot, the a/c not yet overcoming the trapped air, by the time I got to the stop sign. The scent of hot car and hot parking lot is unique, and that’s what I would be smelling at that moment. That’s what this sensory flashback involved: me, pulling up to the stop sign, in a cloud of heat haze and parking-lot-scent, looking to see if it was safe for me to turn right. No specific memory, just the feel of a thing I had done often.

I was hit with a wave of nostalgia.

Why?? I have no idea. There are no good memories associated with that particular setting. No nostalgia, no yearning for being there in that strip center parking lot. Or in that strip center. But also, there are no bad memories. It’s a very neutral place, one I have zero feelings about. I certainly have no desire to be back there again. However, that was the first actual wave of nostalgia that I’ve had since moving here over three months ago.

A few days later, I had another sensory bit of nostalgia – the taste of plain Cheerios. I don’t even like plain Cheerios, and yet I suddenly had the desire to taste them again. How bizarre.

I have no idea what any of this means, if anything at all. It’s nice to know, however, that despite whatever kind of nostalgia, I don’t actually feel homesick. In fact, I’m starting to feel a lot better than I did a year ago, when the depression and loneliness kicked in. I only really know one person locally, but I know a lot of people around Europe, and I can (and have) travel(ed) to see them pretty easily, and I feel far more supported and surrounded than I did a year ago. It’s nice. And reinforces for me that I’ve made the right choice.

Posted in Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

October 2026 in Review

Posted on November 2, 2026 by Thistle

How it is November already??

  • Tarot of the month (full year, month by month, drawn Dec 2025): The Seven of Swords. I know exactly what this one is about, but it’s not something I want to talk about publicly, so I’ll leave it unnamed. Interestingly, last month’s nostalgia card actually came into full force this month… // This version of The Seven of Swords comes from the Dark Grimoire Tarot (no affiliate link).
  • Song(s) of the month: Losing My Religion (REM), Abstract (Psychopomp) (Hozier), Lemon (U2)

General Life Stuff
One of the hardest things about moving to a new place is that you’re exposed to an entirely new set of germs. The further you move, the more relevant that becomes. In other words: I’m sick again for the second time in about a month. Ugh. At least I was able to Zoom into class this week. I’m pretty sure I got this cold from school. My teacher was sick for a few days and had to teach via Zoom, and I’m pretty sure I was exposed right before she started teaching online. Oh well.

Other than illness, though, the month went pretty well. I’ve been hyperfocused on my studies, and the language is coming along faster than expected. I look forward to starting the next level.

Goals
Not much to add here. I finished the A1.2 class at school and am moving to the A2.1 class, so I’m on track to finish where I wanted to at the end of 2026. Mostly, I’m starting to think about goals for next year, trying to make them less rooted in what may or may not happen with my visa. A lot less nebulous than this year’s.

Writing
I finished one short multi-chapter fic and got a bunch done on an event-based fic before I lost steam and then AO3 crashed. But honestly, I didn’t do much with writing this month – my brain has been far more focused on school.

Favorite Photos

Exciting stuff
I visited Munich this month! One day, I will get around to writing about my trips and such, but at this point, I spend 3 hours in class and 3 hours commuting each day, so it hasn’t been a priority.

Another exciting thing: My stuff finally arrived! I’m in the process of unpacking all my boxes and figuring out where everything will go. I have way too much stuff. The problem is that I packed 75% of my things in May/June last year when I believed I would be moving into an apartment after I got back from my two month trip to Europe. But then my ex decided he would prefer me to stay at the house. At the time, I unpacked some things that I needed (for example, cookware) but I mostly kept the boxes sealed. It made sense – I was leaving the country for another month in Oct/Nov, and so would need to re-pack a second time. Shortly after that, I stumbled into some serious depression, followed by emotional blows like losing my cats, and I had neither the energy nor the time to unpack, sort, cull, and repack boxes. In the end, the 23 boxes fit easily into a 5×5 storage shed, so I figured it would be fine. But really, I brought waaaaay too many things. Let’s just hope I don’t have to move a bunch of it back in a year.

A few more exciting bits. First, I posted earlier this month that I’m officially divorced, which I found out on Oct 1st. That is obviously exciting! Not all the details are taken care of yet – there are still assets being sorted – but the bulk is done. Second, while I was in Munich, I got a spontaneous tattoo from a fellow GO fan who is a tattoo artist there. She’d posted a wannado tattoo on the morning that I was traveling to Munich, and I was lamenting that I wouldn’t be able to get it because I really loved it. Only then the group of folks I was traveling with all decided to make a group effort to get me in for the tattoo! Clearly, I will need to post about this still at some point, too. Third, the GO Headquarters finally got the Christmas sweaters up for sale and aaaaaaah!!!!!!!!! (I am WAY too excited for this!) (If I were less sick, I’d put one on and show y’all.) (Instead I’m posting a photo of the above-mentioned tattoo from right after I got it (not healed).)

That’s it – see y’all next month!

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Fanfic Minis – October 2026

Posted on October 30, 2026 by Thistle

Only one fic this month. There are two reasons for this. 1) I have like 20 fics I’m reading that are posting chapter by chapter each week, so none of them happened to finish in October. Because I was following so many WIPs, I didn’t have time to read any extra finished fics. 2) AO3 was attacked and the site is down for the next 2-4 weeks. So obviously I won’t be able to finish any more this month. Not sure I’ll finish any in November, either, depending on if AO3 manages to claw its way back online.

So this month, there’s only the one:

First: Every Colour of You by thisisshiny and Chandyowlet. Aziraphale has Chromesthesia: he sees sound as color. Crowley has achromatopsia: he doesn’t see color at all. They teach each other new ways to see the world. This was a beautiful story – with one caveat. I didn’t feel like Aziraphale’s experience of the world in color reflects actual Chromesthesia. As someone with color –> grapheme synesthesia, I’m very familiar with how cross-sensory perception works, and while I don’t have sound –> color syn, this didn’t read like syn at all. But maybe I just don’t know. In any case, syn or no syn, it was beautiful.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet, by Lindz McLeod (audio)

Posted on October 29, 2026 by Thistle

It’s been a few years since Charlotte got married to Mr Collins and moved out to his parsonage near Rosings. Now, she’s unexpectedly widowed and doesn’t know where her life is going to go next. She writes to friends and family about the news, and asks her best friend Lizzie (Bennet) Darcy to visit, but Lizzie’s young son is ill and she can’t leave him. She sends her sister Mary in her stead, and an unlikely love affair begins.

This was really, really cute!!! A sweet sapphic love story set over the background of Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice. The author doesn’t shy away from the realities of what it meant to be queer in the time period, and it was fascinating to watch Charlotte become aware of things she’d never considered before because they weren’t talked about in society. As someone who, over the last few years, came to realize that being panromantic was not the same thing as being pansexual, and that comphet is a very, very real thing, Charlotte’s awakening was like watching myself from the outside and seeing a lot of the same touchstones along the way. I loved it.

There’s a second book in the series focused on Caroline Bingley, and I’m really looking forward to diving into that one as soon as the audio frees up from the library!

Performance: The book was read by Clare Corbett, and I have no complaints.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

How to Fake It in Society, by KJ Charles (audio)

Posted on October 26, 2026 by Thistle

From StoryGraph: It is 1821 and Nicolas-Marc, Comte de Valois de La Motte is making a splash in London Society. The son of Jeanne de Valois de La Motte, infamous for stealing a priceless diamond necklace meant for Marie Antoinette, Nico hopes to restore his wronged mother’s reputation, if only he can raise the funds. But he must operate with great secrecy, because the Bourbon dynasty murdered his mother, and he fears for his life. 

At least, that’s what he tells Titus Pilcrow. Titus was a simple shopkeeper, making and selling artists’ paints, when he found himself suddenly married to an immensely wealthy woman who wanted to disinherit her nephew on her deathbed. As word spreads of his fortune, Titus finds himself a target of every scammer and beggar in London…including one Nicolas-Marc, Comte de Valois de La Motte.

Nico is on his last legs, out of money, and on the run from some terrifying gangsters. When Titus offers Nico a space in his household, it’s the perfect chance for him to exploit London’s newest golden purse—until he falls in love with the man he needs to cheat. Still, Nico is sure they can have a happy ending together. If he can just find his way out of his own web of lies…

That’s a very long description but it’s currently 4:30 in the morning because I always have insomnia when we “fall back” and supposedly get more sleep, so I can’t think of my own simpler way of describing the book, and will fall back on this official synopsis. I also don’t have much to say about this one. It was an enjoyable book, but it didn’t have the spark that I’ve felt in other books by KJ Charles. Oddly, it was more polished, but I prefer some of the rougher edges in her prose. (I don’t mean bad writing – I mean that this one seemed to have less narrative voice than the others.) It won’t rank up amongst my favorites by Charles, but I still enjoyed it well enough, and that makes like 12 for 12 for the author. Some have been just okay, but if the worst an author can do for me is “just okay,” while simultaneously writing books that I’ve literally read half a dozen times each in the last year? I’ll take it!

Performance: The audiobook was read by Will Watt. He did a good job, especially with Nico’s varying accent, which I imagine was difficult to pull off! Sometimes the character’s accent would change literally mid-paragraph or sentence!

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Oblivion Bride, by Caitlin Starling (audio)

Posted on October 22, 2026 by Thistle

After most of her family dies, Lorelei is married off to the country’s top war alchemist, Nephele. The hope is that Nephele can discover and cure whatever curse is killing off Lorelei’s family line.

Honestly, I didn’t really get into the politics and magic of this book. Other parts intrigued me more – the lesbian arranged marriage; the pregnancy that was engineered through magic to be both women’s child; the texts Lorelei keeps receiving from her dead mother. It was spooky and interesting, the mystery of the curse intriguing, and the relationship that slowly grows between the two women quite sweet.

It was a short book, and I have a feeling I would have gotten deeper into it if it had been longer and the magic more fleshed out. However, for a five-hour audiobook, this was a nice listen. It was read by Mollie Stark and Xe Sands, who both did a lovely job.

PS – If you saw my last post re: the classic editor, WordPress apparently already brought this back so we can use it again. It reappeared about 24 hours after it disappeared for me, so I’ve deleted the last post and hopefully I won’t have to deal with this garbage again at least for a few more years.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Isn’t He Romantic? by Adib Khorram (audio)

Posted on October 19, 2026 by Thistle

Third in a series, where each of three friends (gay, Iranian-American men in Kansas City) has their own journey on the path toward love. This one had a fake-dating plot when a professional cellist (Ben) is trying to escape his ex by claiming to be dating the one of the above-mentioned trio who openly calls himself the group slut. Arya has never been in a relationship, has never been interested in a relationship, but he’s drawn to Ben in ways he’s never felt with anyone before. It was a lovely story, and a perfect ending for what I would guess is a closed trilogy now. Loved all of these so much. Highly recommended.

The audiobook read by Rodd Cyrus and Eric Yang, who both did a good job. No complaints.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

New Beginnings

Posted on October 9, 2026 by Thistle

I have news. Are y’all ready?

Divorce
In the evening of October 1st, I got a message from my lawyer that the judge had signed the divorce decree, making me officially divorced. The decree was signed Sept 30th, which meant that September officially ended my old life, and October 1st began my new one. There is still paperwork to go, but the divorce itself is no longer mired in red tape and sitting in a weird Schrödinger-esque yes-but-no space. Hurrah!

The day after I got the message, I celebrated. It was a nice day – a tarot spread to start me on my new life. A lunch out at an Italian restaurant, where I ordered in German! A bit of Halloween shopping and decorating, as well as a trip to the shops for some celebratory treats and wine. Then I made chocolate chip cookies and watched the week’s episode of Bake Off (biscuit week, good timing!) while eating said cookies with Rainstorm.

School
The first day of my intensive German course was on Monday. I’d spoken to the school the previous Friday when the class schedule came out because I wasn’t sure which level I was supposed to be in. I signed up for the very beginning level (A1.1) but since I’ve spent a year studying German immersion-style through Rosetta Stone, I suspected I might need to begin in A1.2. I took a placement test on the website for A1.1 and scored 80%, and the school told me that yeah, I probably need to be in A1.2, and that there would be another placement test on the first day of class. (There was. I took it and ended up solidly in the middle of the A1.2 range.)

So now that I’ve been there for my first full week, here are my impressions:

Commute: I get up far earlier than I like since I have a 1.5-hour commute. I don’t live in the same city as my school, so I have to walk to the train station (20 mins), catch a train (when there are frequent delays in the German train system), then spend 30-45 mins on the train (depending on if it’s the express or regional) to get to the main station in Cologne. Once at the main train station, it’s almost no time at all to pop into the subway, get on one of two lines that leave every few minutes, and take two stops to my school. But it all adds up. I leave the house by 7:15 or so, and usually arrive 20-30 mins before class begins (during which time, I eat breakfast). The commute back takes just as long, and I usually get home around 1:15 to 1:30. It’s six hours total of commuting and class, and class is only half of that.

Classroom: There are about ten students in my class from a wide range of locations: Iran, Thailand, Singapore, Turkey, France, Kenya, Brazil, and the Philippines, then of course me, the lone American. In general, most of the students are quite friendly. Most are in their 20s and 30s, with only one that I know of also in their 40s like me. Many of them seem to know each other, probably because they would have been in the last A1.1 class together.

Instruction: It’s quite strange to find myself in a classroom again, especially with folks who treat this like they can memorize enough to pass a test, rather than actually trying to learn a language. Not all of them are like this, but enough that I find it really amusing. It’s hilarious when the teacher is trying to get them to branch out from the textbook and they don’t seem to realize it. For example, we did an exercise where we had to ask our “neighbor” (table partner) questions and write down their answers. Then the teacher would ask each of us what our neighbor said about XYZ. Only she would ask by name – like, “What time does Thistle eat dinner?” Of course, the response ought to be something like “Thistle eats dinner at 7:00,” but the response from most of the students would be “my neighbor eats dinner at …” because that’s what they’d written down.

On the other hand, when partnered up, it’s easier to try to get an organic conversation going, even if it’s difficult to converse with a limited vocabulary on both sides, plus everyone having different accents and different ways of pronouncing the German, and all of us making mistakes along the way. The teacher is great at floating around the room and pointing out corrections without making anyone feel silly or stupid. Also, she had no problem with calling me by my chosen name, and said she would use they/them pronouns for me in English (even though this isn’t an option in German – I said “she” was fine, it’s the same word as “they” in German anyway).

Given that I’m coming into this class from a different angle, having spent a year with immersion lessons rather than taught-partially-in-English lessons, I find myself really far ahead in some ways, but really far behind in others. An immersion program struggles to teach certain types of grammar, like how subject articles change in different cases (accusative, dative, etc). That’s a thing that’s much more easily taught in a classroom environment. There’s also certain colloquial phrases and classroom verbiage that I’m unfamiliar with. However, because I’m ahead with other things (I’ve learned far more verb tenses, for instance), I’m able to focus on the things I don’t know instead of trying to catch up in everything. It makes me feel like I’m in the right place – not in the next class up, where I would struggle to understand, and not in the class just below, where I’d feel like I was wasting my time.

Timeline: I’ve booked and paid for a year’s worth of classes. There are ten levels (A1.1 through C1.2), plus a preparatory course for the C1 exam, and I’m starting at the second level. If I manage to do one level per month without repeating any – which I think is overly ambitious – I’d have three months of prep course. That also means I have three months of repeat courses if I want to get through the end of C1.2. If I want to remain in German on a different visa after the year, I need to get to at least a B2 level of language. Goal is to reach that one by May/June. Hopefully that gives me enough time for the application process.

Anyway, that’s all about my double new beginning! I’m probably going to be around the blog less often given that I now spend roughly six hours a day either at school or commuting, plus there will be homework and all the rest. So if y’all see me disappear for a bit, that’s why. It’s a good disappearance, at least!

Posted in Personal | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Velvet Knife by Maureen Johnson (audio)

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Thistle

Follow-up to Nine Liars, and the sixth book in a loose series.

I’ve been looking forward to this one for almost four years now. Nine Liars ended on a major cliffhanger. Tbh, by the time this one released, I’d mostly forgotten the previous book. I remembered the original trilogy well, and then the bridge book pretty well, but the new series didn’t really stick in my head. Because of that, I mostly went into this blind, just knowing that the characters would be familiar.

Two unpleasant surprises met me when I started this audiobook. First, the narrator had changed, when it had been consistent for the last five books. That’s not necessarily bad, just unexpected and threw me off. Second, the prologue began with a character on some sort of hallucinogenic mushroom. I really don’t like books about drugs or books that take me into the mental headspace of characters while on drugs. If this wasn’t part of a series I’d already invested a lot of time into, I would have immediately stopped reading. And honestly, I wish I had.

The story was split between two narratives: a murder mystery from the 70s involving a commune/cult, and the present day, where narrator Stevie is trying to figure out life again after her boyfriend dumped her and she found him kissing some random girl. The murder mystery was fine – again, except that I could have done without all the drug use – but the present day story just drove me insane. Stevie pines and pines and pines for this asshole who is the worst kind of person, while her best friends are telling her to let the ass go and not give him another chance if he comes crawling back.

The rest of this review will contain spoilers, so click away now if you don’t want to know.

As much as I disliked Stevie’s whining, once David did show up again and beg forgiveness, I appreciated that she considered, interrogated him, and then chose to not take him back. She decided to go her own way. That was great. And then we get to the last chapter, where out of the blue, she goes to town, meets up with him, tells him that she’s giving up her life’s dream (supposedly because it’s no longer her dream, but she also asks him if that makes her less intimidating, which is why he broke up with her in the first place), and then they kiss and make up and are back together again. The entire last chapter felt completely unrelated to the rest of the story, like Johnson was telling a story about standing up for yourself, and instead was told by the publisher that she needed to make sure the romance ended well, so she tacked this post-script on. It was especially ironic that Stevie goes back to the asshole in a story that centered on a man who was brainwashing younger women to follow him.

I wanted to throw the book across the room. Only I was listening to an audiobook, so I wasn’t going to throw my phone across the room. I’m sure there will be plenty of readers who find the ending romantic, and maybe this is just because I’m old and have done a lot of work in de-centering men, but this story was just a big fat nope.

Performance: The audiobook was read by Emily Ellet. I could not tell you anything about the quality of her performance because all of these characters already had voices for me from the previous narrator, and I think it would be very unfair to make a comparison.

Posted in 2026, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , | Leave a comment