Sunday Coffee – The First Day of the Year

Posted on January 2, 2022 by Thistle

It’s become a bit of a tradition to think of the first of January as a bellwether for the rest of the year. Start how you mean to go on, and all that, right? And honestly, I want 2022 to be a year of rest, healing, and strengthening the good relationships I have, while also separating myself from the not-so-good relationships at the same time. I hope that with a diagnosis and a treatment plan, I can start on some physical healing, and I’m working to find a good therapist, because after some major unpleasant ah-ha moments I had in the last few days of 2021, I have a lot to unpack for some emotional/mental healing as well.

Back to January 1st, though – here’s how I spent the first day of 2022!

Well, to start, I actually stayed up to midnight, kissed Jason as we entered 2022, and then promptly went to sleep because that’s WAY past my bedtime, haha!

In the morning, I began with my favorite breakfast, full-fat, plain Greek yogurt with cocoa, honey, and strawberries. Then I traveled across the city to Government Canyon State Park to meet up with some friends for a journaling exercise. Sarah led the four of us in journal prompts as a way to look back over 2021 and to shape our vision of 2022 going forward. It was awesome! Originally, this was meant to be a big event. Our hiking group was renting out a pavilion and several dozen women were going to come for breakfast and journaling, but with covid cases rising astronomically here, we canceled. The four of us still wanted to gather, so we had a nice time outdoors on a picnic table, writing out our thoughts.

This was followed by a hike at a new-to-me park, OP Schnabel. One of my fellow journal-attendees, Kristina, was also hosting this, as well as a third host, Val. This allowed the group to be quite large – larger than I’ve seen in our hikes since the pandemic began! There were lots of hikers that I already know, and quite a few new faces, many on their very first hike with our group. We did two miles that, frankly, shouldn’t have been as tough as they were, but my sciatica was RAGING no matter how often I stopped to stretch out my hip. Ah well. I also wish I had my nice camera with me, because there were so many deer and all my phone photos are pretty awful! Other than the sciatica and the heat – why you 80 degrees on New Year’s Day, Texas?? – it was a nice hike! And I’m glad to have been to another new-to-me park here in town.

Then it was home for lunch (leftover frito pie), mimosa, shower, and general chore/paperwork completion. Once I got done all the need-to-do stuff, I spent a few hours listening to my audiobook, reading my print book, doing blog maintenance, and updating my daily journals. Dinner was cobbled together because Jason decided to re-shelve the entire pantry today, so I had a steak parmesan pinwheel, asparagus, some mac & cheese, and a small naan. That all goes together well, yeah? Heh.

After dinner, I pulled out my yoga mats. The kittens were extremely curious and all three immediately claimed the cotton mat. I swear, that cotton mat has been attracting kittens since I first got it years ago! Stephanie and I used to attend a yoga-with-cats class at the cat cafe before it shut down (back in 2018), and the cats loved that mat. I got it to put on top of my normal yoga mat because it prevents my hands from slipping too much, but the cat thing is a definite bonus. I have pictures of ALL of my cats from over the years spread out and loving on that thing. And I guess that despite periodic washings, there’s just something about it that keeps the cats coming back.

With my sciatica and the hike earlier, I didn’t want to do much yoga, but one of my big goals this year is to do more and establish a better yoga schedule. I had a 40-mins cozy blanket yoga session in my backlog, so decided on that one. Angus stayed with me almost the whole time. I was wearing my denim sundress, and he kept getting under the skirt while I was doing different poses, making me look pregnant. Ha! I’ve discovered recently that he likes being inside blankets and other coverings. Maybe it makes him feel safe? If I take a nap and don’t close my bedroom door, he burrows under my blanket and curls up by my feet, which makes it really easy to fall asleep! He’s a little space heater! Anyway. So I had my own yoga-with-cats session last night, eventually joined by Atticus and Jojo as well. (Jojo came from that cat cafe, and he claimed me at one of those yoga-with-cat classes, so he has a bit of a longstanding kinship with me and yoga, or more accurately, with that cotton mat!)

So that’s about it. My day in a slightly longwinded nutshell. I began my year by journaling with friends, hiking with my hiking group, reading, listening to constant construction in my house (ha!), and doing yoga with my cats. That seems about right. Heh.

Happy New Year!

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TGIO, 2021 Edition

Posted on December 31, 2021 by Thistle

(2021 by month)

Let me get right to it: 2021 has not been my year. In fact, it’s been downright awful in a lot of ways, particularly with regards to 1) grief/loss and 2) my physical health. And even though it looks like 2022 is going to start a lot like the way 2021 is ending – and perhaps continue on in that fashion for a few more months – I look forward to turning my back on 2021.

So, odd thing: Until the end of this year, when my whole maternal side of the family caught covid, I had this weird thought that the pandemic wasn’t a really major influencing factor of 2021. On further reflection, though, I realized just how wrong I was. Early on in the pandemic, people made this great effort to fight against isolation. As time went on, those efforts became harder, as pandemic-fatigue set in. Things returned to semi-normal off and on. Vaccinations allowed for a bit more freedom of movement. At the same time, we’re all getting used to a different kind of new normal, and I felt the effects of that a lot this year. I don’t think I’ve ever spent quite as much time alone, even surrounded by people, as I did this year. It’s both contributed to and been affected by my depression, a whole circle that feeds itself – the more I stay isolated, the more likely I’ll become even more so. It’s insidious, and it crept up on me this year, particularly once illness and injury kept me from participating in even the barest social events.

It’s a weird place to be – things look kinda normal, but they’re anything but. The stress has been hard. So while Covid hasn’t been an in-your-face influencing factor of 2021 – until these last two weeks – it’s been kind of the underlying atmosphere, the ugly sea I’ve floated on as I’ve dealt with everything else 2021 brought. Speaking of which, I’m going to break this post into sections, each a thing that had a major influence on my year, whether good or bad:

Continue reading →

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2021 in Books

Posted on December 29, 2021 by Thistle

It has been an interesting year for me in books. Mainly because I just wasn’t all that interested in reading! I’m not sure what’s up with my brain these days, but pretty much since the pandemic began, reading has taken a back burner to other, more immediate forms of entertainment. This is actually my lowest yearly reading total since I began blogging, with only 48 books read! Most of those were new-to-me, with only one reread, and I abandoned a further four books through 2021. Here are a few stats for the year:

Book Type: 35 fiction – 13 nonfiction
Fiction Type: 19 speculative – 16 realistic
Media: 31.5 text – 15 audio – 1.5 visual
Audience: 38 adult – 9 YA – 1 children’s
Authors: 37 women – 10 men – 1 both

New to me authors: 23
Most read authors: Martha Wells with 6 books (from the Murderbot series)

Shortest book: It Could Be Worse (98 pgs)
Longest book: As the Shadow Rises (485 pgs)
Shortest audiobook: The Lost Gargoyle of Paris (3:01)
Longest audiobook: Apples Never Fall  (18:04)

The OUCH collection: no classics, no translations, only a single chunkster, and seven books that I wish I’d abandoned…

A few fun things:

  • 1 collection read this year
  • 13 books were out of my comfort zone
  • most and least popular on Goodreads are Wild (~1.2 million) and In Search of Elsewhere (40)
  • highest and lowest rated on GR are In Search of Elsewhere (4.69) and The Woods Are Always Watching (3.09)

Best bookish experience: I began taking photos of my books read this year! At first, I just took photos wherever (like on the shelves at the library), but later I started to play with themes, trying to match the backgrounds to the book when possible. It became a fun photography project as I learned more about photography in general. My favorites of the 48 books this year are the following:

Best book-related discovery: Cain’s Jawbone! I have yet to find a copy of this book – in fact, my order through bookshop.org eventually refunded after five weeks of backorder – but I’ll get it one day. It’s a puzzle mystery. The pages are out of order and can be placed in lots of different ways, and the goal is to figure out who the murderer(s) is/are, as well as who got killed. It’s fascinating! My friend Stephanie got her copy, and the two of us are going to try to solve the book together!

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Best of the Year

It was hard to pick favorites in 2021. I wasn’t much in a reading mood, and I didn’t read all that many books, even less that I enjoyed. Even those I did enjoy, I mostly no longer remember. My brain wasn’t sticking to books this year. Normally I choose favorites not only based on my initial thoughts and enjoyment, but by how well a book sticks with me over time. Books that linger are books that tend to grow in intensity (either good or bad), so the good ones tend to be the ones that become longterm favorites. Nothing stuck this year, and I know that’s entirely due to me, and not to the books themselves. So these are my best guesses, and perhaps when I lift out of this fog, the list will change.

  • Cuckoo Song: Beautiful writing, incredibly imaginative setting, great characters, perfect balance of story and depth, just an all around great book. One of the only books from this year that I put on my Christmas wishlist.
  • The Night Hawks: I love this series, and I particularly loved this volume of the series. Especially the ending, especially hints about where the series may go in the next volume, which I’m happy will come out in 2022!
  • Runner up: All Our Hidden Gifts: A lot of fun to read, magic and curses and witchcraft mixed with a good deal of politics, cultural references, and social commentary.
  • Runner up: the Murderbot series: These were brilliant escape books with a fascinating narrator in a genre that is WAY outside my comfort zone. I can’t wait until more are published.

Most Fun to Read

  • the Murderbot books: totally out of my comfort zone, but I started with the first book and didn’t stop until I’d been through every published volume!
  • The Alchemist of Fire and Fortune: returning to an old friend, loved it so much
  • The Box in the Woods: a surprising little standalone after a series I’d enjoyed, so again, a return to old friends and a fun little mystery that I read through twice

Most Beautiful Writing

  • One Great Lie: Caletti’s prose is always beautiful, to be honest, and this one was no different; especially great in the Venice setting
  • Cuckoo Song: pure masterpiece painting in words

Most Disappointing and/or Distasteful

  • Wild: Hands down the worst, so filled with lies and the glorification of reckless hiking, and uuuugh I can’t believe I finished this drivel – why do people like this one so much??
  • The Woods Are Always Watching: hillbilly stereotypes, impossible situations, and a great giant bear-mauling to act as the hand of god!
  • Night Theater: y’all, I really don’t know what was up with this book…
  • As the Shadow Rises: I loved the first book in the series, but this second one was a slog, and in December, I quit the third book about a quarter of the way in, which is really disappointing!

Best Settings, Vividness, and/or Visceral Moments

  • Cuckoo Song: brushing fingers through her hair to come away with bits of crumbling leaf; opening her mouth to swallow a porcelain doll; so many other moments of brilliant imagination
  • Ghosts of the Tsunami: This is real life, and the author paints a vivid picture of a rural part of Japan post-tsunami in 2011.
  • The Original: the all-white setting of a digital world, the orange-carvings, the intense world-building in this short novella…
  • Any Sign of Life: I can’t actually write this out with giving away major spoilers, but let’s just say the first time we meet the Culprits of this situation is one of the most visceral moments that I read in 2021. World-building is phenomenal too.

Best Relationships

  • Vivi and Rhys, The Ex Hex: straight up sexy witchy romance
  • Beck and Hot ‘N’ Crusty, It’s Kind of a Cheesy Love Story: the relationship between a girl and her own origin story, mixed with the friendships formed at the restaurant
  • Ruth and Harry, The Night Hawks: the most complicated kind of hands-off romance and co-parenting
  • Murderbot and…well, just about everyone, the Murderbot books: Murderbot just wants to be left alone with its media…
  • Spensa and Chet, Cytonic: fellow explorers

Physical Books I Bought / Kept From My 2021 Reads

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And there you go – the end of an unremarkable reading year! Here’s to 2022 being so much better!

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An Answer!!!

Posted on December 27, 2021 by Thistle

Y’all. I don’t usually post in the evening. I usually pre-draft my posts, and edit, and take time to get pictures, and whatever whatever. But I’m too excited to do all of that, because TODAY I GOT A DIAGNOSIS. That’s right – after 7.5 years of symptoms and a year that had over 120 medical appointments, I finally, finally have an answer.

I have rheumatoid arthritis.

Is it a good diagnosis? No. It sucks. But I’m over the moon happy just to have it. Because this means I can have a direction, a treatment, specific things to do, targeted medication, an actual plan to work toward health. For now, my rheumatologist and I are going to work on calming the massive amounts of inflammation in my body. That inflammation has been ongoing for years, causing so much damage, but hopefully we can get it under control and I can move more toward the health I used to have. After that, it’s all about management.

It’s funny – apparently I had a really good indicator that this would be the diagnosis back when I had my foot MRI in the spring. The fact that there’s arthritis in a formerly-broken bone, with cystic change inside that bone, is classic RA. And considering my foot has been swelling every day for 14 months, except the 12 days I was on a steroid for inflammation, getting the inflammation under control (without steroids!) will be a big part of making my feet useable again! It should also help my chronic sciatica, upper back, shoulder, and neck pain. Oh I’m so hopeful. I know it’s a chronic disease and it can go into remission but can’t be fully cured, but I’m so very hopeful!

Honestly, I don’t think this is the only answer. I took food allergy tests earlier today as well, and I imagine there will be some answers when I get those results, too. I also still think the diabetes insipidus test will come back positive when I take that one in early January as well. But at very minimum, this RA diagnosis will help me treat the chronic pain and inflammation with the right meds, and – fingers crossed – removing inflammation from the equation will make it possible to slowly lose weight and take the pressure off my joints (an important action that can help minimize RA’s effect on joints/bones).

You know how sometimes you can get into a negative spiraling circle, where one bad thing leads to another and another? For me, agoraphobia leads me to staying indoors more, which increases my agoraphobia, which makes me want to go outside even less, etc. This diagnosis feels like the opposite – a spiral into good things. With this diagnosis, we can treat the inflammation that’s blocking me from being able to lose weight, so perhaps I can lose weight, which will make my body healthier and make it so it takes on less damage from the RA, so less inflammation will be produced…and so on. And guys? A positive spiral is something I desperately need!

I hope so much that this diagnosis leads to good. I’m just so happy to have an answer!

Posted in Wellness | Tagged | 3 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Christmas, Scattered

Posted on December 26, 2021 by Thistle

I didn’t want to say anything in my anniversary post the other day, but the last week has been a series of punches to the gut. First, my middle son got into an accident on the way home from work last weekend. Thankfully it was at low speed and no one was hurt from either party, but it did total Jason’s electric car, making this the fifth accident and third totaled car in our household this year. We’re currently limping along in a single car, trying to make that work as different people have different appointments and schedules, until we can get a settlement and buy another car. Sigh. Fingers crossed we can do that before the year is out. And that we can find ourselves another electric car in our price range, especially since we have another $1k deductible to pay!

That, however, is the least of our concerns. My mom has been sick for the last two weeks. A few days into her symptoms, she took a home covid test, which came back negative. From there, she started to get better, only to relapse last weekend with what was probably considered new symptoms: a fever that wouldn’t drop below 103; cough; a terrible stabbing headache; falling asleep at the drop of a hat; inability to sort thoughts properly; everything smelling putrid and sweet… Yeah. My sisters and I all suspected covid, and we encouraged her to go to Urgent Care despite her negative test a week beforehand. She did eventually go, because she worried it might be bronchitis or walking pneumonia. No. It’s covid.

My mom is unvaccinated – refuses to be vaccinated – and in addition to that, she won’t take certain traditional medicines. Like, she’ll take antibiotics, but not Tylenol or any other fever reducers. So she started taking calcium for fever and vitamin C for covid, and she’s talking about ivermectin and nebulizing hydrogen peroxide and colloidal silver, eek!!! My stepdad won’t get tested, but it’s 99.9% probable he also has covid, since he has all the same symptoms.

Even worse, the rest of my mom’s family, who also refuse to be vaccinated, have all been exposed. My uncle Greg has tested positive. My grandmother is really sick and won’t let anyone help her out, even after another uncle – who was also sick but not tested at that point – found her on the floor where she’d laid for a long time post-falling (while refusing to hit her life-alert button to notify anyone). He bought in another uncle, who as far as I know wasn’t sick at all, so he’s now been exposed. On that side of the family, there are at least three uncles, one aunt, and my grandmother who have all been exposed to covid and who are all unvaccinated with various underlying health conditions. Which left us all wonderful who we might lose by the end of 2021. In better news, my grandmother did get tested this week, and she had to get her test at the hospital, so when the test came back positive, they immediately started the monoclonal antibody treatment. I know that she would have refused this in any other setting – like if she had to go to a treatment center herself – so this is one thing to be grateful for! She definitely felt much better afterwards.

(L to R: uncle, aunt, grandpa, grandma, mom, stepdad. Every person in this photo from 2014 – as well as a few others – has been exposed and is now vulnerable, except my grandfather, who passed in March)

Obviously, Christmas on my mom’s side of the family has been postponed. The original plan was for my family to go to my mom’s house on Christmas morning, along with my brother who is in town for a week. Obviously that’s out. Also out is the new year’s eve bonfire at my grandmother’s ranch. Last year, Jason and I didn’t do any of that out of an abundance of caution, pre-vaccine. This year, with rates still low in town (though starting to rise) and the four of us fully vaccinated and boosted, we felt safe enough going even though they were unvaccinated, especially for the outdoor festivities. But I guess that’ll wait, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll see my grandmother again. I hadn’t seen my grandfather – who passed (not from covid) in late March – since the NYE bonfire in 2019, and one of the big reasons I pushed to attend the bonfire this year is that I don’t know how much longer my grandmother is going to last. Even before this, she wasn’t doing well. I guess at least I got to see her in April at my grandfather’s memorial. But GAH.

Anyway. I’m going to draw a line under the sad bits there, and return to what was possible for Christmas this year. First, there was the Secret Santa exchange with my hiking friends. We had dinner out last weekend, and I brought my good camera so that I could get better photos of the night. At first, I was a bit shy about taking them, but as time passed and I got more used to it, it almost felt like fading into the background and capturing moments, which I love. After our lunch/exchange, we had a little photo portrait session outside the restaurant (which had a beautiful botanic setting!). Not everyone was able to stay for that part, but the majority did, and I got a great photo of our group:

(I love these ladies so much!)

On Christmas eve, we spent the afternoon with a few members of my dad’s side of the family, including my brother (who I last saw in April) and my half-sister (who was in California for her first semester of college this fall). We had a hilarious white elephant exchange, and afterwards played a blow-up gladiator game outside. At home in the evening, we Zoomed with Jason’s family for our annual Christmas gift swap, and then per tradition, each of us opened one present before bed. Mine happened to be Connect Four Shots, so we had another rambunctious and fun game before everyone settled down for the night. Ambrose and Laurence put out brandy and fairy toast for Santa instead of milk and cookies. It was awful. Jason took one bite, while I took one sip of brandy, and then Jason poured the brandy over the toast and wrote a note back to the boys to scold them. Ha! It’s become a Thing to have Santa and the boys in a verbal spar every year.

Christmas, of course, was very subdued compared to normal. We opened our household gifts in the morning, then facetimed with Morrigan in Kansas. We’ll be doing our household gift swap (which includes Morrigan and his girlfriend, Katy) later tonight, in addition to my family’s sibling swap, which may or may not happen this afternoon. (When I said Christmas was SCATTERED this year, this is what I meant!) We had most of the day off to relax and hang out, then went to my dad’s house for games and a fireside hangout in the afternoon/evening. We played cornhole (I am the cornhole MASTER), ate cake, drank wine…it was nice. Admittedly, fire was an odd choice for 80-degree weather, but hey.  At least the sunset was gorgeous!

Obviously, there is still more to come. The swaps I mentioned above, plus anything with my mom’s side of the family after the covid dust settles – which will hopefully settle without any deaths!! It’s a complicated and unfortunate time in the family, and while I have a couple end-of-year wrap-ups mostly pre-drafted for this week in terms of the blog, I’m going to continue to stay a bit inactive here for the rest of 2o21. I hope you all had a covid-free and less stressful Christmas, and that you continue in good health through the rest of the holiday season!

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Anniversary Advent

Posted on December 22, 2021 by Thistle

This year, Jason and I celebrate our 22nd anniversary today! Because it was our 22nd anniversary and December 22nd, we did something different this year, and made an Anniversary Advent game!

Like a traditional advent calendar, we each opened a daily gift leading up to today. Now, I want to be clear about this: 95% of the gifts were silly little things, like a chocolate bar or a novelty book of dad jokes. We aren’t rich, and we couldn’t exactly spend hundreds of dollars on the project! But it’s not the cost that matters. It’s the idea!

I wrapped the 22 gifts I got for Jason in various boxes we had around the house (cereal, popcorn, amazon boxes, etc) because he’s WAY too good at guessing the gifts from shape/feel. Then I bought a deck of cards and coordinated reds and blacks for matching colors/numbers. The red half of the deck was then put into little envelopes with notes that each contained one marital memory from the last 22+ years that I loved. I randomized the envelopes and clipped them into the heart pattern pictured above. That way, we never had any idea which one he’d get.

Jason started by setting up half the garage – the part we’d intended for the last year to set up – as an exercise area, with a good rubber matting floor and some walls to block out his tools and such. That was my Day 1 gift since all the other gifts were hidden around this room. In a traditional advent calendar, he placed randomized ping pong balls that he’d painted silver and numbered. Each day, I open a door, find the number, and then have to seek out that day’s gift.

It’s been a lot of fun! Some gifts to him have included a miniature Zoltar (ha!), root beer candy, a felt cross-stitch kit, a dinner out to Mi Roti, and a Buddha board; some to me have included an air plant, a desk skee-ball game, hiking-themed catnip toys (for me to play with the cats!), a 1000-piece puzzle, and Milano cookies. Today, Jason has off work, and we plan to spend the day out, first with a hike, then lunch down at the Pearl, then maybe a movie together. Nothing too fancy, nothing too elaborate. Just some time together to celebrate 22 years of marriage. 🙂

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I’m off the blog for the next few days. Between Christmas and a situation that has come up in my extended family, I need a bit of offline time. I hope you all have the merriest of holiday seasons!

Posted in Personal | 3 Comments

Cytonic, by Brandon Sanderson (audio)

Posted on December 21, 2021 by Thistle

In this third volume of the Skyward series, Spensa and M-Bot are stuck in the Nowhere, off on an adventure to learn more about 1) the creatures that want to destroy them, and 2) the nature of their selves.

I’ve enjoyed this series immensely so far. The first third of this book was a bit dragging. For those who have read Harry Potter, it’s a bit like the early parts of the seventh book, when the trio just wander from place to place to place. There’s a lot of that here, a bit of pointless “questing” that doesn’t move the story along much. (Knowing Sanderson, though, there’s probably something important hidden in there that I missed completely!) I was glad when we finally got past that part and into something more evenly paced. Another odd thing for this go-around: I actually guessed a few of the mysteries in advance! That almost never happens with Sanderson. He’s too good at being extremely un-subtle and yet fooling everyone, heh.

There’s a fourth volume of this series that hopefully will release in 2022, and I’m looking forward to reading that conclusion. There’s also a series of three novellas that have come out (or are soon to release) set in this world, and they are top on my list for early 2022! The Skyward series isn’t part of the greater Cosmere universe of Sanderson’s novels. It’s nice to have a break from the larger picture while reading his work sometimes. Plus, since this one is set in a universe that includes “old earth,” you get some of the best lines, like:

“And then, the evil member of the Lion Clan grinned a terrible grin. ‘No, Simba,’ he said. ‘It was not mere chance that your father fell to his fate, but it was I who cast him to it! I killed him so that I might have his throne, just as I will now kill you!'”

Or:

I sure hope I survived, because Gran-Gran really needed to add this story to her repertoire. Children in the future were going to insist my adventures were too outlandish – and therefore I wasn’t an actual historical person, but one that was obviously made up, like Gilgamesh or David Bowie.

I actually laughed my way through quite a few places in this one, particularly when Hesho, the overly-philosophic kitsen emperor, reappears:

“Just so you all know,” [redacted] said, “I’m secretly a monster from outside space and time.”
“Ah yes,” Hesho said. “Deep inside, aren’t we all monsters?”

This is such a fun series, and I’m really glad to end 2021’s reads with this audiobook. Just as with the last book, Suzy Jackson narrates the audio, and does a phenomenal job.

Posted in 2021, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Sunday Coffee – YWA Move

Posted on December 19, 2021 by Thistle

Last year, when I signed up for Yoga With Adriene’s January challenge – Breath – I had every intention on becoming more consistent with yoga in 2021. That didn’t work out. I never did Breath in order, and I only finished the last of the videos in early December. I don’t know exactly how many yoga workouts I did in 2021, but it was probably less than 50. There were a lot of good reasons for this. A ganglion cyst in my wrist kept me from doing much for the first five months of the year, and the ensuing surgery and recovery has continued to keep me away. To this day, I can’t stretch the back of my wrist fully, so I still can’t put a lot of pressure on it. Furthermore, I began to focus far more attention on hiking with a weekly hiking challenge that took up a LOT of my time. Then there was the four months of summer where I was injured and sick and in the hospital, followed by the remainder of the year as my health grew steadily worse. It’s not been a good year!

But this post isn’t about the crap year I’ve had. This is about yoga, and the new year. The January Challenge for the year has been announced – Move. Once again, I’ve signed up. Even if I don’t finish for months, my goal is to once again become more consistent with yoga. My body is unilaterally more healthy when yoga is a regular part of my life, and it’s time for me to return to that. That begins with Move.

I can’t stress just how wonderful Adriene’s yoga challenges are. They’re adaptable to all fitness levels, they’re great for mental health, and it just makes me smile to hear her voice every day. I’m really looking forward to this renewal, and returning to a place of better inner peace. It’s definitely one of my favorite times of the year!

Namaste.

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Abandoned Books of 2021

Posted on December 17, 2021 by Thistle

I don’t read books that aren’t working for me. Most of the time, if I start a book that’s not going to work, I can tell within a few chapters, if not a few pages or even paragraphs. I cull hundreds of books every year. This isn’t about those books. This post will be about the books I abandoned after reading a significant portion – almost always over 50%. It’s rare for me to get that far into a book if I’m not going to finish it, and my reasons for quitting are often personal quirks. These are books that I think deserve mini-reviews, for the sole reason that they may appeal to other people even if something about them didn’t work for me.

There were four books that I abandoned in 2021. (I’m currently reading my last book of 2021, which is a definite guaranteed-to-finish, which is why I can post this so early!) Links go out to Goodreads, where you can read a book description if you’d like.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig: I heard mixed reviews about this book, so I decided to give it a try. The writing worked well for me and I was enjoying the story, until I started to get an inkling that this may turn into a feel-good story that trivialized real mental health issues. Because I never finished it, I don’t 100% know that my suspicions were correct. However, reading some spoilery reviews online seemed to confirm my suspicions, so I abandoned the book before getting to a point where I would potentially go on a major rant about it. (Highlight for my suspicion, which is definitely a book spoiler, so proceed at your own risk: I guessed that in the end, the narrator would learn that she was already living the best life she could live, and so she had no reason to end her life, and people should just assume that the choices they made in the past were always the right one and there’s no reason to feel like we’ve failed or to make the decision to end our life. End spoiler.)

Skye Falling by Mia McKenzie: I got this book through Book of the Month. The preview seemed interesting and I liked the premise of the story. However, the abrasive voice of the main character, which on the preview seemed related to being hungover, just continued and got worse until I was constantly irritated by her behavior. I’m sure she probably made some sort of journey of self-discovery as that’s where the book seemed to be going when I gave it up, but at that point, I just didn’t care. I just didn’t like her, and I felt sorry for all the wonderful people around her. Oh well.

Dark One by Brandon Sanderson, Jackson Lanzing, and Collin Kelly: Might be surprising that I actually abandoned a book written by my favorite author! Dark One is a graphic novel, and I’m suuuuuuper picky about graphic novels. If this one had been written by anyone other than Sanderson, I never would have picked it up at all. But because it was Sanderson – and because I thought this was an important piece of Cosmere lore – I checked it out. The drawing style wasn’t my favorite, and I had a hard time following the story. Tbh, I barely even remember it now, and what I do remember was not going a direction I liked. Now, because I know Sanderson, I know this wouldn’t be as clearcut as it looked when I let the story go. I know there would be some twists that would not make it go the direction I thought it was going. That’s just what Sanderson does. But I also found out this had nothing to do with the Cosmere, and I didn’t like the adaptation or art, so I decided to sit this series out. (Note: If I remember correctly, Sanderson wrote the concept, or an unfinished story/novel, and the other authors adapted that into a GN script, rather than Sanderson writing the script itself. But I could be wrong about that.)

The Keeper of Night by Kylie Lee Baker: This is another Book of the Month selection. I’ve had several over the last two years that I didn’t enjoy past the preview, so I actually took the extra step of downloading a longer preview before I chose this book. The opening chapter is fantastic and really set a great tone and atmosphere. I chose the book. Unfortunately, after the first chapter, it seemed to read like any other YA adventure/fantasy book, and I got bored really quickly. By the time the narrator arrives in Japan, it felt like the plot – of which there was little – revolved around finding ways to recount various bits of Japanese mythology. And while I found the mythology interesting, the plot had gone almost nowhere by page 180. I don’t need plot to sustain me in a book, as long as something else – atmosphere, setting, character development, etc – is interesting. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me here. This was the sort of book that I could have kept reading, and probably would have found it a “just okay” book by the end. Not offensive, but not memorable. And I vowed a few years back not to bother with those books anymore. Any time I’ve broken that promise and continued on with them, I’ve regretted it. So I gave this one up.

Maybe one of you will find the above books intriguing, and give them the love they deserve, but which I couldn’t give them!

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Wellness Wednesday – Better Than Serotonin…

Posted on December 15, 2021 by Thistle

Ten days ago, I thought I was going to end up in the hospital again. My generalized unspecific inflammation had skyrocketed with the introduction of a new medicine the day after Thanksgiving, and a week later, I had to stop taking it due to some very serious, potentially life-threatening reactions. My body’s immediate response to any of these kinds of reactions is to turn up every single inflammatory response, as bodies are supposed to do when exposed to attack (illness, injury, etc). The problem is, I was already at an 11, so ramping up inflammation caused my body to crash. Over the first weekend of December, every bone, muscle, joint, and organ in my body hurt individually. I’d gained 4 lbs in a week of pure inflammatory fluid. My eyes wouldn’t see correctly, my digestive system shut down, my skin broke out in rashes, and every tendon/joint was so tight that I literally couldn’t not lift my legs (had to shuffle-walk), nor could I stand up or sit down without aid. So yeah. I thought I was going to end up in the hospital again.

Instead, my rheumatologist came to the rescue and prescribed me a 12-day tapering pack of a steroid called methylprednisolone. I’ve been on 6-day tapering packs of this stuff probably a dozen times in my life, the earliest being around the age of 12 with my first major hive outbreak. I know I tolerate these steroids well (unlike something like Prednisone, which I definitely do not!). Most people hate taking steroids. They cause weight gain, constipation, problems with blood sugar management, increased appetite, and more. Y’all? I love these things. They aren’t a longterm solution and I would never want to take them as a daily regimen, but MAN steroids make me feel like a normal human being again.

Y’all have heard me say that my body is an alien, yeah? Well, here’s a good example. When I’m on steroids, I do have some of the issues people get, like blood sugar fluctuations and extreme hunger. On the other hand, I lose weight as if I’m crash-fasting. It’s not true weight loss – this is why the scale is a really crude and poor judge of actual health or size determination – it’s because my body sheds all the inflammatory fluids it’s built up. My fatigue disappears and I have energy for once. My skin glows and becomes healthier. All the random aches and pains go away. I feel like my body is 15 years old again, like I can do anything.

It’s no different this time. In the first four days of this pack, I’d already lost 6 lbs, while eating at least 1.5x more than normal. The pain in certain tendons – particularly the right sciatic nerve/tendons and the left psoas area – didn’t go away completely, but for the first time in weeks, I could lift my left leg up at the knee more than an inch or two, and I could move it in an inward motion (like to cross your ankle over your knee). I could sit/stand without support, and could even get on and off the floor easily, squatting, kneeling, or from any other position. I could move freely again! My eyesight and digestive system returned to normal. And weirdly, the localized triangle of swelling on my left foot almost completely disappeared – when it’s been there for fourteen months now. (Photo: top taken 12/5, bottom 12/11 – same time of day after same amount of movement.)

Of course, things can’t continue on this way. Steroids aren’t a permanent solution. This particular pack started at four pills a day, then three, and so on down. I’m currently on the first day of the trio of one-a-day before going off the pack completely. On a 6-day pack, I notice the effects start to wane and the inflammation beginning to win again around the midway point (three-a-day, when it starts at six-a-day). It was the same here, right around Monday, when the steroid side effects (too much food, blood sugar fluctuations, insomnia) combined with increasing inflammation caused increased fatigue and the beginnings of pain again. My weight stabilized about six pounds down, sure to increase a couple to pre-spike levels after I’m off the pack altogether, and the intense hunger dropped off when I got down to two-a-day. A little fluid has returned to my foot as well, but it’s still mostly fine. I’m sure that after I’m off altogether, a lot more of that fluid, fatigue, and pain will come back. I’m just hoping this pack can reset me enough that I’m not at hospital-levels of inflammation!

And in the meantime, I’ve enjoyed my brief break from the realities of my f-cked up body. In complete contrast to the previous weekend, this last one was amazing. (All pics from this post, except for the pre-steroid version of my feet, are from this past weekend.) Jason and I went hiking together on a new-to-us trail. I attended a cookie party with some friends that same afternoon. The next day, I spent the morning baking the sugar cookies that we would later decorate in the evening as a family, including facetiming with Morrigan and his girlfriend Katy, which was so nice! Especially since Morrigan doesn’t yet have the time off of his new job to come down to TX this winter.

Even beyond the fun stuff, it’s been incredible to get some very basic things done: laundry, cleaning my room, organizing my files, etc. Invisible illnesses suuuuuuck. I’m just really grateful for the science that can give me a slight break when things get too bad, and that I didn’t have to end up in the hospital again last week!!

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