Wellness Wednesday – Ode to Some of My Favorite Things

Posted on September 27, 2017 by Thistle

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Nothing special today. I’m in a good mood and just want to rhapsody about some of my favorite fitness-related things!

(one of the smoother hills at Comanche)

Comanche Lookout Park
I’ve mentioned my local hiking/running trails ad nauseum in the past. They’re accessed from the same parking lot as my local branch library, and the first time I explored the trails was back in 2006. Since then, I’ve gone on hundreds (if not thousands) of trips to the park. I’ve walked with friends. I’ve worked out novel ideas while I moved my body. I’ve played running games with my kids. I’ve used the exercise equipment dotted throughout. I was there when the equipment was put in. I learned how to run on those trails, and completed my first 5K there.

It’s been over three years since I’ve been able to use the park – the year back in TX between my moves, I was hampered by a sprained/broken ankle – and it’s like coming home. The same people walk/run there. There’s the couple with the disabled daughter, and the adult autistic men from the group home that go there with caretakers. There’s the super-skinny man who wears track shorts, parka, knit cap, and thick gloves no matter how hot it is. There’s the older short man who walks like a duck and always says “thank you ma’am” when I say good morning. Then there’s the very elderly man who walks extremely slowly around the trails with his very large, very well-behaved French pyrenee, stopping to chat with whoever wants to say hello. (Didn’t know if I’d see him again, given that he’s in his 90s. But I spotted him just two weeks ago. Him and his dog.)

Airrosti
I’ve also mentioned this particular type of physical therapy several times on the blog, but as a recap, this is manual manipulation of fascia combined with therapy exercises and icing. It’s like a fast-track to treating soft tissue injuries like sprains or plantar fasciitis. It’s extremely painful and extremely expensive and totally worth both the pain and the cost. Three visits, and my foot pain is nearly gone. Which means I can take long walks on my favorite trails again, and can start running just a teensy bit again.

(sneaking in a run last week)

Running
I miss running. I miss many of the things that came along with it. Not everything was great of course, but there were good things. I miss little local 5Ks with all the fun vibes. I miss the feeling I got over a particularly good run. I miss the excitement of improving my times, even if I was never even remotely fast. I felt so good in those days, and so crushed whenever an injury would set me back. Products like Garmin watches excited me. I looked forward to new running shoes. I kept a journal of every run, no matter how good or bad or spotty. Now, I’m not glorifying here – there were days I hated running, days I felt terrible and awkward and out of step. There were times when the heat or humidity was just too much for me. Sometimes I’d go weeks or even months without running by choice. I’ve grown to understand that I don’t like long-distance sports, and I’m totally okay with doing 5Ks instead of marathons. I’m also very well aware that my current size and fitness level aren’t ideal for running. That hasn’t stopped me from trying from time to time. And enjoying a rare moment of making it through a (slow, short, all-downhill) run.

Recovery
So…not all recovery is something I love. I really don’t like foam rolling or icing, though I know they’re necessary to heal and prevent injury. Some other parts of recovery are just wonderful, though. I can’t tell you just how amazing a post-workout breakfast tastes. Usually I put off stretching – I know, I know – but man when I actually follow through, it feels so good! I don’t know why I put it off, really. Other great recoveries include hot tubs or jacuzzi baths and (my favorite) massage. Speaking of which, it’s about time for a massage! I haven’t had one since my birthday!

(I miss cute clothes like these!)

Athletic Clothes
Back when I was much thinner, I had a few moments when – yes – I actually felt sexier in running shorts and a high-tech tank top than I did in anything fancy or pretty. One of the hardest things about gaining weight has been the difficulty of finding decent plus-size clothes at decent prices. This goes for both regular clothes (I miss being able to shop at the thrift store!) and athletic-wear. Even so, I do the best I can, and have a wide array of yoga pants/capris, basketball shorts (from the men’s section), running shorts, tank tops, and flowing yoga tops. Now if only I could find decent plus-size sports bras…

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Mrs. Fletcher, by Tom Perrotta

Posted on September 25, 2017 by Thistle

Eve Fletcher is a divorced single mom whose only son has just gone off to his freshman year of college. As she struggles with empty nest syndrome, she finds herself addicted to internet smut, while simultaneously taking a class in gender politics taught by a transgender woman. Her son, Brendan, is one of those bro-culture jock-jerks who thinks college is all about alcohol, sex, and parties. He’s quickly finding that his glory days of high school don’t work so well in his favor in the new environment.

So. Tom Perrotta. He writes wonderful books…but they always tend to also make me very, very uncomfortable. This is no exception. So much is tackled here, as you can tell from the description. It is all so very relevant to current society – from discussion of rape-culture and police brutality, to privilege and token attempts to act politically correct. There is so much packed in this one short book that it would be impossible to try to unpack it all here.

A couple things struck me in particular. Eve is older than me, but by less than a decade, and it was surprising to realize I was closer to her in age than some of the other characters. It seemed like I should connect with her more than anyone else, but I didn’t. Her story was one of personal and sexual awakening, hampered by a skewed perspective caused by her nightly internet forays, and I just couldn’t relate to any of it. I also found it particularly irksome the way she coddled her overly spoiled child and sacrificed herself to him as entirely as if he were a god. I’m all for making sacrifices for kids and nurturing them and all, but if it gets to the point where you can’t even ask them to stop doing Very Bad Things in your own house, something has gone wrong.

Brendan is only a year or two older than my oldest son, and because of his mother’s coddling, has no concept of respect, social conscience, or self-awareness. High school was his environment all the way, and he literally cannot understand when people don’t continue to worship him from all sides. He is bro-culture to the max – alcohol, drugs, video games, never studying, sex with whoever whenever – and bro-culture makes me uncomfortable. All the hangovers, all the jokes about sexual violence, all the casual usage of nasty names for women, all the teasing “Oh we can’t say that because body image” etc. It makes me particular uncomfortable because I can see some of these things in the anecdotes my boys bring home from school. Jason and I try to discuss why these things aren’t okay – unlike Eve, who just proclaims that boys will be boys and there’s nothing she can do – but even our discussions don’t go far. Bro-culture is sticky and messy and pervasive, and this book addresses it a lot. That gets quite uncomfortable at times.

But that’s the thing about Perrotta – so much of what he writes makes me uncomfortable, angry, depressed, and many other negative emotions, and yet his books are wonderful. They are addressing issues that need to be addressed. Yes, we need to change things like the culture of toxic masculinity prevalent in high schools and colleges (and beyond). Yes, we need to be honest about how internet-smut is changing people’s perspectives. Yes, we need to address passive parenting and transphobia and bullying and sexual harassment and privilege and all the rest. So I keep reading, push past my discomfort, and praise Perrotta’s books for what they accomplish so well. We should be uncomfortable with the things that are wrong in our society. Discomfort is the seed that leads to activism, and activism eventually leads to change.

Posted in 2017, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Settling In (Again)

Posted on September 24, 2017 by Thistle

It’s taken me much longer than usual to get settled into this house (unpacked, furniture arranged, decorations up, etc). Usually that’s a three-to-five day job. It’s just such a relief to get everything out of boxes and to know where it’s all at! Turns out, it’s harder and takes longer when someone else packs and moves your stuff for you. (Not to mention, that was an incredibly awkward experience, standing around while other people did all the work. Nope, nope, nope. I never want to do that again.) But one way or another, a month after we moved into this house, everything is unpacked and put where it belongs (at least temporarily). The house is decorated for Halloween with our sadly-tiny-collection – flooding during the thaw in Boston a couple years ago ruined most of what we had, including Death – and I generally know where most things are. The rest is just tweaking.

Beyond the house, there isn’t much settling in to be done. We live very close to where we used to live before all the moves, so all the routes through the city are old ones. I’m back to the library branch that is like my second home, and I’m close to the hilly trails that I first learned to run on. I’ve got appointments set up with my old doctors and I’ve seen my old chiropractor. I’ve visited old familiar stores and new ones that have popped up since I was gone. I’m in the process of getting out to see friends and family. The boys are enjoying their schools and being back with friends, so that transition has gone really well.

This past Thursday, I hosted a gathering of writer-friends to talk about getting our weekly write-in together again. It struck me afterwards, just how good it feels to be in a community of people you care about and who care about you. I’m home. It’s not a perfect home of course – what home is? – but I’m home. And it’s such a relief to feel that way again. I haven’t felt that in way too long, and I want to do everything I can to keep ties to my community even when stress, depression, or other brain-stunts try to hamper me.

There is another really good thing to report in all this. The last couple years have felt like being in a pinball machine, as if someone hit a button, shot us off, and we just bounced and bounced until we finally landed safe again. This is apparently the safe. There is no jarring homesick for a home that is just out of reach. I haven’t cried about this house because it’s not the old house. I haven’t accidentally driven into my old neighborhood on the way home, and even when I’ve passed that neighborhood, it feels like the past rather than the current. This is the second time in my life that I’ve been in a pinball machine – the first being the era of three-pregnancies-in-four-years with almost no recovery time between them – and I have a definitely feeling of “settled” that I recognize. This is it, folks. Home for the long haul. Thank goodness.

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Wellness Wednesday – Brain-dead

Posted on September 20, 2017 by Thistle

buttonOnce upon a time, in the dim recesses of my past:
April 2003. I’ve just passed my 24th birthday. I have two boys at home, one that’s 2.5 years old and one that’s not quite a year. I’m working as an IT tech and we’ve just finished a huge four-month-long project that had me setting up new computers, disposing of old computers, training employees on the new system, setting up all the security clearances, and about a dozen other things, all while still fixing stuff that broke. I’m the only tech employee in our local region and am the go-to for project management, training, setup, security, networking, and help-desk repairs. My brain is in overdrive, which is lovely, because I’m in a seriously bad place in my life and I want nothing more than a major distraction from myself.

Then the project comes to an end, and my brain just…blanks out. From April until August in 2003, there’s almost nothing but white fog. A hole in my memory. A few mini-memories, like a week spent away from home for training, or a conversation with a drunk friend who’s moving across the country. It’s not just blank in my memory, though – it’s blank in the day-to-day second-to-second living. Dangerous times, like the time I nearly blew through a stoplight because I didn’t even know I was driving a car until I was at the intersection. It’s as if my short-term memory capability has disappeared. I retain nothing from minute to minute. I never know where I am or what I’m doing. The very definition of brain-dead autopilot.

Why this story is relevant today:
Thankfully, I survived that summer. To this day, I have no idea what happened to me. It was nothing I’d ever experienced before, and nothing I’ve experienced since. For the last fifteen months, however, it’s been a very near thing. Not long before we moved to Wisconsin – when we were in the middle of reconstructing our entire house due to termites – my short-term memory capability dropped to about 20% capacity. There was no white fog, but I couldn’t really remember very basic things. No concentration, no focus, no creativity, no communication. Books I read went right through my brain without sticking, and I struggled to put together sentences when I tried to review them. In conversation, I’d trail off mid-word and have no idea what I was saying. I’d have an idea of what I wanted to write in an email but would lose the words as soon as I put my fingers to keys. Multi-tasking or following multi-step directions was impossible.

The situation grew worse after our move. For anyone who knows me on other social media platforms, you may have seen me disappear this last year. My brain didn’t have the capacity to fully interact. Even on a site as simple as Instagram, my posting cut by at least 2/3rds. Depression and anxiety caused my brain to grow worse through the fall, compounded after the election and by the lack of available mental health care where I lived. There was a short respite when my doctor put me on an anti-depressant, but soon the medicine also worsened the situation. By the time I had my mini-vacation in February, I had so much trouble having a full conversation that my family and friends back at home noticed and were concerned. I thought maybe it would get better once I got off the new med – and it did, briefly, before the blanket muffled my head again.

Unfortunately, things have not gotten any better. I could blame stress or insomnia or depression, but I don’t think any of those are the real root of this, as it hasn’t changed when any of those lessen. Maybe some kind of imbalance or hormone issue or some other physical problem, I don’t know. I have appointments scheduled with my family doctor and a neurologist who specializes in sleep disorders, so I really hope I might get some answers in the near future. Living like this – not remembering anything that’s happening around me, not able to function in a meaningful way, struggling to remember even the most basic words to speak or write – is terrifying. I want answers. I want my brain back.

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Top Ten Books on My Fall TBR

Posted on September 19, 2017 by Thistle

There are/were a bunch of books coming out this year that I can’t/couldn’t wait to get my hands on, and nearly all of them were scheduled to arrive in the fall. A couple are out now, but most are still yet to come. It’s these anticipated releases that make up the majority of my fall TBR.

1. Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson – This is my absolute highest priority book of 2017. I’ve been waiting impatiently for nearly two years since falling in love with Words of Radiance, and I’ve been gobbling up the chapters Tor releases every week as previews. This comes out in mid-November and I don’t imagine I’ll read much else for awhile after that.

2. The Scarecrow Queen by Melinda Salisbury – Goodreads told me that the end of this series would be out in March, but it doesn’t release until the end of October in the US. I can’t wait to get to this one!

3. The Empty Grave by Jonathan Stroud – This released a week ago and I’ve already finished the audiobook. I adore this series so much!

4. Into the Bright Unknown by Rae Carson – Another end of another series I’ve adored.

5. Renegades by Marissa Meyer – I do hope this ends up being a good one!

6. All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater – This sounds so fascinating!

7. White Sand Volume 2 by Brandon Sanderson – I very rarely anticipate graphic novel releases, but hey, it’s Sanderson, and I can’t wait!

8. Tarnished City by Vic James – This series joined my TBR just in the spring and I can’t wait for the sequel. **Note: While GoodReads claims this will release this month, other sites apparently put the publication date in Feb next year. Boo!

9. Mrs. Fletcher by Tom Perrotta – I only recently heard about this book. I love Perrotta and put myself on the library hold list at once! Hopefully I’ll read it soon.

10. Now I Rise by Kiersten White – I only just read the first book in this series about Vlad the Impaler, and definitely can’t wait to get my hands on the next!

Most of the time, I don’t make seasonal TBR lists because I tend to read by my mood. I don’t think I’ve ever actually read more than a quarter of a seasonal TBR list! This year, though, it feels like there are so many books coming out that I want to read immediately that I’m overcrowded with excellent selections! Especially as I tend to revisit older volumes of series, or read/listen to books multiple times when they’re special favorites. And this list is just my top ten – there’s another dozen or so begging for attention right now! It’s been a long time since I’ve had so many books clamoring for my attention!

Any of these on your list this fall?

topten

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 10 Comments

Sunday Coffee – And After a Year…

Posted on September 17, 2017 by Thistle

Two weeks after our ill-fated move to Wisconsin last summer, my nephew Rory was born. September 9th, 2016. And of course, I was too far away to meet him in person, and too broke to travel back for a visit so soon. When I did manage to visit San Antonio back in Feb/March, my sister – who lives in Dallas – couldn’t coordinate a time when she could make the drive down to see me, not with two kids and in the busiest part of her work schedule. (I had no car during that visit, so couldn’t go see her, either.) So I made plans to come down to San Antonio again in September, to meet Rory around the time that he turned one.

Fast forward a crazy summer that involved us moving back home much sooner than anticipated, and suddenly I was only a four-to-five-hour drive away from my sister and nephews. Invitations to his birthday party came out, and I hitched a ride to Dallas with my dad, brother, and half-sister.

Rory is a very laid back baby. He smiles a lot, especially if you shake your head no at him so that he can copy you. Once the two of us established that particular game, he would immediately start shaking his head every time he saw me. It was adorable. That’s what we were doing in the pictures above. Below is a set of smiling photos from the party, including one full of cake!

When my family originally moved down to Texas in 2005, it was because I had a half-sister who was only two years old at the time, and all my cousins were having kids. I grew up very close to my extended family, around siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents all the time. I wanted my kids to have the same experience, and I wanted to be part of the lives of my baby sister and my cousins’ kids and eventually my siblings’ kids. That’s one of the big reasons that moving away felt so wrong – being unable to meet my nephew for an entire year just isn’t okay with me! It feels good to be back on the right track again.

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The Empty Grave, by Jonathan Stroud (audio)

Posted on September 14, 2017 by Thistle

As this is the fifth book in the Lockwood & Co series, any description would necessarily give away series spoilers, and I don’t want to do that. Instead I’ll do my best to sing this book’s praises – and the series’ praises – to the world without any particular details. Heh. General series description: Alternate Britain where ghosts walk/kill, only seen by children but felt by adults, and where children thus act as agents who hunt and destroy ghosts. Lucy Carlisle, narrator, is an agent of Lockwood & Co, which runs independent of any adult supervision and tends to ruffle feathers of larger agencies and government task forces.

I pre-ordered the audio version of this book on Audible as soon as it became available, and downloaded it straightaway on Tuesday when it released. Most of Tuesday and a chunk of Wednesday was taken up by listening to the book. It was riveting, and not just because this is the fifth volume in a series I’ve loved for years. This volume was particularly riveting. It revealed a lot of secrets related to the world-building and history of this alternate version of Britain. The book’s tone took some particularly dark turns in places, and yet still stayed firmly in the middle-grade category. (Notably, I adore when books can do this – can pull off younger age audiences while still engaging older audiences!) The characters all experienced some major growth both emotionally and in maturity. Best of all, there were teasers that make me think there might be at least one more volume in the series. (Or more than one, I can hope!)

This is the sort of series that has so many hints and little embedded clues through each volume that you don’t see until much later down the road. In that way, it’s similar to Harry Potter (though not really similar in many other ways). I love being able to go back and reread earlier installments, catching things that looked entirely innocuous before. And of course, it’s the perfect series to read or listen to during RIP season.

Okay, so really, I’m not saying anything here. The lengths I go through to avoid spoilers, haha. Seriously, though, this is a series I highly recommend. It starts off great with The Screaming Staircase and just keeps getting better.

ETA: About a week after this book appeared, I received both good and bad news. The good news is that there might be a TV show made out of this series. Yay! The bad news is that this is the final installment. Boo!

Posted in 2017, Children's, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Best Friend’s Exorcism, by Grady Hendrix

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Thistle

Sophomore year, 1988, and a stupid girls’ night out changes everything for Abby and her best friend Gretchen. Gretchen just doesn’t seem to be herself anymore, and the changes in her go from disturbing to worse. Soon Abby has to accept the unlikely: her best friend has been possessed by Satan.

Alright now! I’m once again split in how I feel about a book. On one hand, it was a compelling read (finished in a day) and quite fun for most of the book. On the other, it grew a bit heavy-handedly cheesy after a time, and seemed to glorify a time period that I just don’t like (the 80s). On one hand, it broached many serious topics such as class prejudice, sexual assault, and child abuse. On the other, none of those topics really went anywhere, and I felt a bit let down by the casual treatment. On one hand, it was quirky and well-paced and had interesting characters. On the other, those characters started acting out of character purely to push the plot one way or another, and other inexplicable things started happening to create tension/horror, which is when things tipped into cheesy for me. (Highlight for minor spoiler: I just can’t credit the tapeworm with the ice cream thing, for example. End spoiler.)

I don’t know. People raved about Ready Player One but I was never interested in reading it because it seemed to be a way to relive/worship the 80s and video game culture. Since I’ve never been into video games and there’s just about nothing from the 80s I look back on with fondness (not the music, nor the movies, nor the style, nor the politics, nor the books…), it just didn’t seem like my kind of book. I think this might be the same kind of deal. Before I went in, I didn’t realize just how much this book would read like a love letter written to the era. I imagine if it was set in, say, the 90s, that would have increased my enjoyment exponentially. There’d still be problems with the book, of course, but my personal fondness for the 90s might have outshone the negatives. In other words, I think I failed to connect with the book mostly due to the time-setting. So if the 80s are your thing, or you’re at least indifferent to the time period, My Best Friend’s Exorcism might work better for you. It’s certainly quirky and fun and fast-paced, and it has some of the most awesome cover art I’ve ever seen.

Posted in 2017, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Starting Again (Series Edition!)

Posted on September 10, 2017 by Thistle

(unpacking)

Everyone does it. We start a series and then, for one reason or another, quit reading. Now, there are plenty of series I’ve started and never continued because I simply disliked the first book. A couple examples: Tithe, The Knife of Never Letting Go, Dreaming Anastasia, The Golden Compass, Miss Peregrene…etc. There are also a few sad series that were so lovely but whose contracts got cut before the series finished. Boo! And of course, there are those series where not all the books are out yet, so of course I haven’t finished, or I just started reading the books and simply haven’t had time to finish. But even cutting all these out, there are still dozens and dozens of series that I started and never continued.

I think maybe it’s time to get back into some of these, but there are so many that I’ll need some reader advice and recs! I’m going to break all these down into categories, and you guys let me know if I’m missing out on something great!

Category #1: I liked the first book a lot, but by the time I got around to the second, I no longer cared if I continued on. Should I keep going?

  • The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
  • The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
  • The Peculiar by Stefan Bachmann
  • The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani
  • Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen
  • Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
  • The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow
  • The Cage by Megan Shepherd
  • The Diviners by Libba Bray

Category #2: I liked the first book and continued past it into the series, but eventually came to a book that I disliked or couldn’t finish (or in some cases, became indifferent like in category #1). Should I power through?

  • Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr (stopped after Fragile Eternity)
  • Evermore by Alyson Noel (stopped after Blue Moon)
  • Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (stopped after New Moon)
  • the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde (can’t make it through The Well of Lost Plots!)
  • the Flavia de Luce series by Alan Bradley (liked two of the first four books, after which I stopped)
  • the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan (quit earlier this year halfway through The Shadow Rising but MAN I really want to make it to the Sanderson books…)
  • the Patternist series by Octavia Butler (I love the first few books but I hear they get weird sci-fi after the ones I’ve read…)
  • Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl (stopped after Beautiful Darkness)
  • the Game of Thrones books by George RR Martin (stopped after A Storm of Swords)
  • A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (quit halfway into Shadow of Night)
  • the Poldark books by Winston Graham (quit after Demelza)
  • Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan (quit after Untold)

Category #3: I was on the fence about the first book and wouldn’t normally continue, but other readers just rave about the series. Will it get better?

  • Throne of Glass by Sara J Maas
  • Delirium by Lauren Oliver
  • Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
  • Storm Front by Jim Butcher
  • Perfect Ruin by Lauren DeStefano
  • A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

Category #4: I initially liked the book but had my feelings turn sour after a negative experience. Should I get over myself?

  • Ash by Melinda Lo (negative author experience)

Okay my friends – what am I missing here? Are there any book that have you thinking, “I can’t believe she quit!!” or “Definitely don’t read further!”? Let me know!

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And I Darken, by Kiersten White

Posted on September 7, 2017 by Thistle

From Goodreads: No one expects a princess to be brutal. And Lada Dragwlya likes it that way. Ever since she and her gentle younger brother, Radu, were wrenched from their homeland of Wallachia and abandoned by their father to be raised in the Ottoman courts, Lada has known that being ruthless is the key to survival. She and Radu are doomed to act as pawns in a vicious game, an unseen sword hovering over their every move. For the lineage that makes them special also makes them targets. [Read the rest at GoodReads]

Vlad the Impaler. Radu the Handsome. Mehmed the Conqueror. A trio of historical figures from the mid-1400s in a time of conflict between European Christianity and the growing Islamic Ottoman Empire. Historical records of that time are old and fragmented, with historical figures often made out to be pure hero or villain. This novel re-imagines their stories as real people, neither pure hero or villain, in this fictionalized, alternate-history version of the world, where Vlad the Impaler is Ladaslav (or Lada) the Impaler. The book is first in a trilogy, and this volume follows Lada and her brother Radu as they move through childhood and adolescence, first in their home in Wallachia, then as captive bargaining chips abandoned in the Ottoman Empire and befriended by future Sultan Mehmed.

I’m not normally a fan of historical fiction, and I’m even less of a fan when historical fiction focuses on real people and takes many liberties with their lives. However, the alternate-history aspect of this book takes it out of the realm (for me) of assumption and places it firmly into fiction – using fiction to discuss history, rather than using history as a vehicle for fiction. It’s a fine line, and one many people wouldn’t care about, but for me, that made this book one I could enjoy wholeheartedly.

And I did enjoy it wholeheartedly. I know very little about this time period and I found myself alternating between reading the book and looking up historical details about events, geography, religion, people, etc. This is the best kind of history, in my opinion – the kind of history that focuses on people, psychology, culture, and all the messy grey areas that make up the decisions one must make while holding power. When a history teacher or textbook presents a series of timelines, events, and facts about a point in time, my eyes glaze over and I struggle to remember any of it. But when someone tells that same history as a story as seen by the people experiencing it, that point of time becomes relatable, and then memorable. It doesn’t matter whether this is done with fiction, like in this book, or with creative nonfiction (The Romanov Sisters is the first that comes to mind). Either way, I deeply appreciate when an author can help me engage with history, a subject that is difficult for me to engage with most of the time.

And I Darken is more than just an interesting historical retelling, though. White does a phenomenal job weaving together many different plot elements. Her writing and pacing are both excellent, and she uses the leverage of the alternate world as a way to explore so many different aspects of life in this era: what is means to be homosexual in a world that doesn’t understand or accept; the particular difficulties in being a woman during that time; the balance of weighing various acts against each other when all choices will hurt someone; the choice of commitment to family or love or country or god. It was beautifully executed, and this review doesn’t do it justice.

PS – The cover looks a lot like many current YA fantasy/paranormal books, but it’s definitely not. No magic, no fantasy, and barely even YA. Don’t let the cover turn you away if that’s not normally your kind of thing!

Posted in 2017, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments