Wellness Wednesday – The Difference a Decade Makes

Posted on November 29, 2017 by Thistle

A few weeks ago, I looked back through an old journal from November 2007. I was looking for something particular – a doctor’s name – and didn’t find what I was searching for. Instead, I found many pages and passages of self-insults. I called myself fat, said my head looked like a potato, complained about so many parts of my body as well as my personal failings that obviously led to the problems with my body. It was a shocking thing to find. Yes, I knew that I didn’t like being overweight and that I struggled hard with body image, but I hadn’t realized just how vitriolic my self-language was at that time.

Near the end of 2007, I was frustrated with myself. Being overweight was a relatively new experience for me, starting only when I was pregnant with my third child in 2003/2004. My weight was still bouncing around due to illness, with sudden gains and drops, and I was frustrated with the lack of control. At the time of my journal entries, I was 20 lbs up from where I’d been six months before, and was straddling the overweight/obese line. I have almost no pictures from then, because I was too embarrassed by how I looked to take them, and in those I have, I now look back and see someone who may not be super thin, but who looked just fine! Yet I was calling myself names and berating myself constantly.

I’m honestly not sure exact when or how things changed in the last ten years. I currently weigh about 35 lbs more than I do in that picture above. I’ve spent most of the last ten years either overweight or obese. But I don’t sit around berating myself anymore. Actually, I don’t mind how I look. Sure, I could do with some improvement, especially as getting thinner would help my feet and hips not to hurt all the time. But see? That’s not a self-insult. That’s practicality. Now, when I look in the mirror, I’m perfectly okay with what I see. Maybe it’s just the familiarity of having been this size so long. Maybe it’s the surgery I had a few years ago to repair pregnancy damage to my stomach. Maybe it’s all the work I did on improving my body image when I was thin. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m no longer inclined to treat myself like a punching bag. Do I like every picture? No! Who does? Do I have days when I struggle and take issue with my body? Of course! The negative crap and the insults and the shame, though? That’s all gone. Good riddance.

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The Scarecrow Queen, by Melinda Salisbury

Posted on November 27, 2017 by Thistle

I’m not going to summarize this book as it would give away spoilers from the previous two books, The Sin Eater’s Daughter and The Sleeping Prince. I’ll just say that this is the conclusion to the series, involving war, rebellion, alchemy, folklore, and sacrifice.

I’ve been looking forward to The Scarecrow Queen since I read the first two books in the series back in the summer of 2016. First I heard it would be published in March this year. Then the publication was pushed back to Halloween. Then Halloween came and went, and while the book finally appeared on store shelves, no audio version of it popped up on Audible. I’ve loved the audio editions. Amy Shiels is fast becoming one of my favorite narrators. But sadly, no audio has ever appeared. I don’t know if perhaps one isn’t being made, if perhaps the series hasn’t sold well enough to have one (boo!!), but I finally gave in about a week into November and bought a copy in print.

My reading of the book was a bit fragmented, for two reasons. First, it had been well over a year since I read the first two books, and I’d consequently forgotten some of the events, characters, and setup. It didn’t take me long to piece it all together. Salisbury does a good job of bringing readers back up to speed without the book feeling like info-dump. Second, I’d only ever listened to the books, so some of the words/names were new to me until I figured out how the spelling correlated to the sounds. Not to mention I really just missed having an audio version. Shiels really made this story come alive.

That’s not to say that this one wasn’t alive though! It started slowly for me – mostly because of the two reasons above – but picked up quickly. I loved watching Twylla’s growth over time, and once again I especially adore seeing an awkward, introverted, passive person as the primary hero of a novel. I also loved Errin, Merek, and Stuan, and the way the characters all figured out how to fit together in a mash of colliding personalities and leadership styles. Then there was Lief, one of the most ambiguous characters I’ve ever read. While the villain of the book – the Sleeping Prince – is pure evil on the level of Voldemort (something I tend to find less interesting in characters), Lief can’t be easily boxed and labeled. One of the best things about the series is that there’s no clear-cut answer about him and his motives.

The Scarecrow Queen was a very satisfying book and end of the trilogy. I really wish more people would read the series. I especially recommend trying out The Sin Eater’s Daughter on audio for a unique and well-executed story.

Posted in 2017, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Thanksgiving

Posted on November 26, 2017 by Thistle

I’m back! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday week. My break was both busy and relaxing, consisting of:

– Oathbringer! The release of Oathbringer is of course why I decided to take a mini-blog break in the first place, combined with it being an upcoming holiday week. I told my family I was taking vacation, and then spent three days binge-reading the 1235-page tome. My emotions were all over the place as I read and I had major mood swings because of everything I felt from those pages. My poor family, haha.

– I finally saw a new therapist here, but one visit was enough to know it wouldn’t be a good fit. Back to the drawing board.

– I made a new header for the blog! Finally! I’ve been meaning to do this since 2014, and here it is, three years later…

– Last weekend, the boys stayed with my mom, so Jason and I got our first night off/out in about eight months. While we didn’t do anything spectacular – we just went to Half Price Books for some Christmas shopping then to the grocery store – it was lovely just to hang out and chat and not have to parent for a bit. I went to bed super early that night (8pm!) and had a lovely long night of sleep before the boys returned to us the next morning.

– A cold front finally came through that same weekend. Halloween was a nasty, fitful-rain night that brought in a muggy heat wave. The first few weeks of November were in the mid-to-high 80s with high humidity and general blah-ness. That was really affecting my mood and my desire to go exercise. This cold front (and dry front!) was definitely needed.

– There was, of course, Thanksgiving. I spent this with my dad’s side of the family, some extended family I hadn’t seen in over a year. My sister and brother-in-law came in from out of town and I got to hang out with them (and my brother) both at the Thanksgiving dinner and afterwards at our house. My family made cranberry orange muffins for the party and they were sooooo good!

– The day after Thanksgiving was packed! I had lunch out with extended family at my favorite restaurant (India Oven). There was some Black Friday shopping (well after the crowds were gone!) and then we began decorating our house for Christmas. It’s tradition for us to start playing Christmas songs and putting up decorations on the day after Thanksgiving. We didn’t get everything done, but our house is starting to feel like the holidays! Plus I discovered that we have one outlet that is controlled by a light switch. It’s right by where we decided to put the Christmas tree, so that’s perfect! We used to have one of those before we moved to Boston, and haven’t had one since then, so this was a neat little fun thing about our house to discover. I love being able to turn the Christmas lights on and off at the switch. Yes, I’m a dork.

So it was a good holiday, fun and full. Jason and the boys go back to work/school tomorrow and life (and blog) shall resume as normal. 🙂

Posted in Personal | Tagged | 6 Comments

OATHBRINGER!!!!!!!

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Thistle

Stand by. Binge reading in progress.

Blog-posting to resume after Thanksgiving. Have fun and be safe over the holidays, peeps!

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 3 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Book Hangovers

Posted on November 12, 2017 by Thistle

I know of two kinds of book hangovers. One of them – when you finish a book but your mind stays trapped in that world and you’re not quite ready to let it go – is one I actually enjoy. This is when I get to multi-read. I love when books affect me so much that I begin to read them several times in a row. I’m highly anticipating this happening this coming Tuesday when Oathbringer finally makes its appearance on store shelves and in Audible queues!

The other kind of book hangover is not so pleasant, for me at least. It happened to me earlier this week, when I read Truly Madly Guilty. I got sucked into the book and essentially didn’t move all day long. I read and read and read, long past when my body and eyes were comfortable, long past when I normally go to bed. While it wasn’t 24 hours, this was essentially Readathon-style reading, except that during Readathon, I make preparations to prevent book hangovers. I take planned breaks. I get up and walk for 10-15 min chunks every hour. I space out my reading with blog updates and such. There was none of that when I read the other day. No breaks, no intermissions, no movement. And the next day, I felt like hell.

I’ve never had an actual hangover. I’ve been drunk, drunk enough to get a hangover, but I’ve never had one. My only guess is that my tendency to over-hydrate on a daily basis helps me to not get too dehydrated when I drink. (I’m the sort of person who regularly drinks 15-20 cups of water a day.) But I definitely get book hangovers when I get sucked into a book and don’t adequately prepare for it. And it’s no fun the day after that kind of reading!

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 6 Comments

Truly Madly Guilty, by Liane Moriarty

Posted on November 10, 2017 by Thistle

Three couples are gathered for a barbecue when a tragedy happens in a second. Everyone is left spiraling outwards, marriages in turmoil, mental health ragged, family relationships impaired. A single moment is all that’s needed to change lives.

I was wary going into this book. While I loved Big Little Lies, I really disliked The Husband’s Secret and I didn’t know which of the two categories this one would fall into. Turns out, it’s the former (thankfully). I sped through this book and…well, I can’t say enjoy is the right word. This book is depressing in many ways. But I was engaged, at least, and I connected with the characters, and I loved the way the book wound everything together. I appreciated this book.

Moriarty’s books discuss a lot in terms of suburban, privileged lives. In this one, we’re exposed to the psychology of a person who grew up with a hoarder parent, the complicated friendship that grows between two people forced to be friends by a parent, the various ways marriages are tested by tragedy, impostor syndrome in many forms, and the subtle changes in children’s behavior that may or may not indicate a deeper problem. There’s a heaviness to all this burden, but also hope, and I like the balance that Moriarty achieves.

Posted in 2017, Adult, Prose | Tagged | 5 Comments

Wellness Wednesday – Financial Stress

Posted on November 8, 2017 by Thistle

The biggest source of stress in my world right now is money. The whole situation is stupid and ironic, and all down to a bad decision we made in 2014 that at the time we thought was a good decision.

2014: Jason had a good salary. Not huge, but large enough that our family of five was doing well. We were frugal, so we didn’t spend huge amounts. Every month, we put money into savings and paid extra on our mortgage. We’d owned our house for over eight years, and we’d bought it at a pretty decent price when the market was super low. Our only credit card was used strategically – we put all our expenses on it every month (to earn points) and paid it off in full when the bill came, so that we never had any interest. This way we earned free flights and hotels, and avoided debit fees at our bank (which was still stupidly charging per use). We had enough for vacations or emergencies, and we didn’t have to worry about paying the bills every month.

Continue reading →

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City of Blades, by Robert Jackson Bennett (audio)

Posted on November 6, 2017 by Thistle

City of Blades takes place five years after the end of the first book in this series, City of Stairs. General Mulaghesh – a side character from the first book – is called out of retirement to do some reconnaissance work in a city that used to be a stronghold of divine war and death. The city’s goddess is most certainly dead, but something is bringing back the nightmare warriors of the past, and it’s up to Mulaghesh to wade through foes both living and dead, human and divine, to stop the mythic end of the world.

While City of Blades is set in the same world as City of Stairs, it isn’t a continuation of a storyline. It helps to have read the first book for world-building purposes, but this is its own standalone plot. It’s quite different in many ways from the first book. The narration, for example, belongs primarily to one character rather than having a giant chunk dedicated to other characters and storylines. There’s also less mystery and more thriller aspects. The pacing is more straightforward, with fewer twists. I would say both books were equally good, just different. I look forward to seeing what the third installment will bring, as I know it’s also after a big chunk of time and its own standalone story.

Performance: I enjoyed this performance. Alma Cuervo does a fantastic job with all these characters, and this audiobook (unlike the first book) is cleaned up so that you don’t hear any of the mouth and throat noises.

Posted in 2017, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Looking Ahead to 2018

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Thistle

I know, it’s a bit early to start looking ahead to the next year. I guess there’s some part of me that has already left 2017 behind. I’ve started writing my dates with /18 at the end already. It’s not that 2017 was a particularly bad year. Lots of frustrating and negative things happened, but the eventual changes were good ones. I think it’s those changes that make me anxious to leave the old behind and start anew. The beginning of the year always feels like a new beginning, so it’ll be nice to have the new year to compliment the new house, new job, new routine, etc.

Anyway. For whatever reason, I’m starting to look forward. Making plans and goals. And more to the point here, making reading lists.

Every year, I make a list of the books I want to get to that year. I don’t actually have to read every once of these books – plenty get tried and culled along the way – but it helps me to organize my reading year. It’s the best way for me to keep track of the books that are coming out, and to keep my audio queue and to-investigate lists pared down to minimums. In beginning 2018’s list, I’ve realized that this is going to be a lull year. As of this writing, there are only a half-dozen books being released (that I know about) by authors I love, and of them, only two are ones I know I won’t cull. I’m currently in the process of thinning out my to-investigate list and audio queues, and depending on how far I get in that process this year, I might have less than a dozen titles on my priorities list next year!

Who knows? Maybe that’ll lead to the discovery of lots of fun new stuff. Maybe it’ll be like other lull years and I’ll have a lackluster reading list. Maybe some of you lovely bloggers will clue me in to other books I should be looking at in 2018. Maybe some of the books I’ve been looking forward to but which currently don’t have release dates will release (Lethal White, The Muse of Nightmares, The Lost Metal, the next Shades of London or Dublin Murder Squad books…). Pretty please?

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 6 Comments

Book Disappointment

Posted on November 3, 2017 by Thistle

Earlier this week I started a new book. It was a random Audible find that seemed promising. Supernatural thriller, narrator in love with a coworker for the last few years, also taking care of a younger sister confined to a wheelchair. It was an interesting setup with lots of tension – except a few chapters in, the coworker and sister both die. The narrator is left with no one but an otherworldly handsome supernatural creature that she hates but who will obviously eventually be the love interest. No.

I really liked this book in the beginning. The writing was fantastic. The pacing was great. The setup was interesting. The world-building was unfolding nicely. And then everything I liked about the book disappeared, and I was left with a typical YA paranormal romance plot that I’ve seen too many times now. It was like the author started writing one book, changed their mind for some reason, and then wrote an entirely new one. Honestly, I don’t even see how any of the setup was relevant. Why bother, if you’re just going to kill everyone off before the story actually gets started? And why would you make the focus of the plot synopsis all about characters who won’t actually be there for most of the book?

What a disappointment. I quit listening and returned the book to Audible. Thank goodness for their lovely return policy.

Posted in Book Talk | 2 Comments