April 2012 – Cozumel, Mexico – 185 lbs (the line between overweight and obese for my height). Jason took this picture of me. I’d been so happy about my progress – down 75 lbs – but I hated this picture the moment I saw it, as I hated many pictures from that particular vacation.
It looked to me in that moment that all my hard work wasn’t reflected at all in my appearance. I felt huge. Especially my abdomen, which was always a difficult part for me before surgery because of all the pregnancy damage. Taking a closer look:
The thing is, now I look at this picture and I don’t even notice my stomach. I see a person who may not be the thinnest in the world, but who looks fairly in shape and average-sized. Back then, I let myself get tunnel-vision, unable to really see my body accurately. It wasn’t the first time I’d done that, and it won’t be the last, I’m sure. But I wanted to give myself a reminder right here on my blog that focusing on flaws, large or small, detracts quite a bit from the whole. Sometimes it’s good to step back and see from a wider perspective.