Please note: Last night I got the news that my uncle has advanced cancer with liver and kidney failure. There’s a very strong probability that he won’t make it longer than a few more days. I’m heading to Houston to see him today. I’ll likely be absent from the blog for a bit as I deal with the upcoming weeks. This post was mostly pre-drafted.
I feel like I came out of this month battle-scarred. It was a tough one. I got through it, and I didn’t have any major breakdowns (I won’t say how many minor…), but I pretty much spent the whole month binge-watching TV as a coping mechanism for stupid ghost-trauma, and then I kinda overspent when I became LuLaRoe-obsessed. That’s far better than I’ve done over the last few years in May, though – no binging or binge-drinking – so I consider the month a semi-success despite accomplishing very little.
We made progress on our front yard xeriscaping/landscaping project! It’s about 2/3rds done now and I hope we can finish soon. The longer this goes on, the hotter it is outside to work! I did also finally sign up to get monthly massages, so I’ve started in on that part of my 2018 goals. Getting a pedicure with my friend Stephanie early in the month crossed off another goal (new-to-me locations/events), and I used up my second-to-last skein of yarn making a grey beanie. –> So I suppose I accomplished some things this month…
This is where my month-of-ghost-trauma-and-TV-watching really affected me. As I was saying in my last post, I can exercise like normal, but if I just sit around post-exercise, nothing good happens weight- and health-wise. Example: I exercised 22 days this month (average for me), for a total 22 hours (average), with 13 yoga sessions (below average) and 42 miles walked (above average) and a daily step count of 9680 steps (average). Other than my yoga being slightly less than normal, this is pretty much the norm for me. And yet, everything went wrong in my health. My sleep was pretty bad, my diet was worse than usual, my mental health was in shambles, and despite my best intentions, I did drink alcohol a few times this month. And the scale – it dropped in the first week of the month, carrying over from my work in April, but then it stalled out, bumped back up a bit, and flatlined from there. Pretty much starting from the exact same place I began.
I wasn’t really in a reading mood this month. Managed to read two books, one of which was a reread and one of which I disliked. Heh. I think I might do a summer of (mostly) rereads coming up.
- Laurence playing Mr. Darling in his school play, Peter Pan
- spa date with my friend Stephanie, including my very first ever pedicure
- getting complimented on my yoga poses in a public class
- seeing (briefly) numbers on the scale that I haven’t seen since Feb 2017
- having coffee with Stephanie one day and my cousin Jen showing up randomly (in other words, I love being home again with so many people I know and love nearby!)
- my kids seeing the “garbage day” clip of bad movie reels for the first time, and their reactions to it (if you don’t know it, please follow that link, it’s awesome!)
- attending my first LuLaRoe party and receiving the lovely clothes afterwards (not to mention buying far more after that party than I probably should have…)
- Morrigan getting his driving permit and finishing driver’s ed
- Laurence having his first ever date and girlfriend
- finally seeing The Greatest Showman (it was sooooo good!), and seeing Book Club in theatre
- new haircut! (above)
- Ambrose got inducted into the National Art Honor Society!
- the progress on our front yard has been lovely, and I adore the way it looks
Coming up in June
School gets out on the 7th. Those who have been following me for a long time know that I dread the summer for two reasons. First, the heat, because come on, a temp variance of 80 degree nights and 100 degree days for months and months? No fun!!! Second, as a stay at home mom, my job becomes a 24/7 thing with no break for the next three months. Some people might feel like this is a dream, but I’m a stay at home mom out of necessity, not choice, and I miss my quiet, non-chaotic days. This summer will be particularly packed because my two younger kids decided to take extra classes for summer school, and Morrigan is doing both band camp and this trip to Japan in July. Plus Jason will be working from the office rather than home this summer, the first summer he’s not been a home-based employee since 2013, so I have to adjust to having no help at home again. Sure, the boys are older, but my oldest has a lot of mental health problems and home-restrictions, so there’s a lot of worrisome coming up.
On the other hand, June 1st tends to mark a reawakening in me, a little shot of energy that will (hopefully) keep me going for a bit. It’ll be especially helpful now, because all that ghost-trauma of May? There’s less of it in June-July-August, but 2013-2015 involved a LOT of trauma stuffed into those summer months, and I’m still wary of how my body may cope. Often, I drop off the blog altogether between May and August. I don’t think that’ll happen this year, but you never know. I’ll just keep doing the best I can.