Sunday Coffee – Tucked In

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Thistle

Well, it didn’t all go smoothly as hoped, but we’re in our new house now! Weird story, though.

First, let me explain the circumstances that set this story up. This particular property was never occupied by the seller. A renter lived here, and we have no information on how long she’d lived here, or how many other renters there had been, etc. Normally we wouldn’t look too hard at a rental, but this one seemed to have a responsible tenant who took care of the house, and it meant that we were able to purchase the house for much less than it would have gone for had it been seller-occupied. When the seller proposed we close on the 4th of the month, we surmised this was because the renter would be out by the end of November and this would give the seller a few days to do a post-tenant walk-through, cleaning, etc. I still wanted to give the place a thorough cleaning before we moved in, but expected all would be well.

Only…no. The renter didn’t actually move out until the 3rd, and the seller never did any kind of check on the house. She never went there at all. If she had, she would have seen what we saw when we walked in: a dead mouse in the living room, some kind of hardened liquid in the bathroom the color of blood, and painters tape across all the kitchen water fixtures saying not to turn on the main water to the house until we fixed a broken piece of plumbing. Um…

Okay. The dead mouse? Well, we were told there’d been pest control service, and you can expect to see this sort of thing post pest-control. That didn’t bother me much, to be honest. The blood-liquid? Turned out to be a shattered bottle of nail polish that the tenant either didn’t or couldn’t clean up. The broken pipe – apparently when the fridge was moved out, the head of the ice maker line was broken off, making it shoot water out uncontrollably so the main water valve had to be turned off until this was fixed. These were all issues that the seller should have taken care of and simply taken out of the tenant’s security deposit. But as I said, the seller never even checked the property.

Our realtor was livid. She was on the phone to various agents, brokers, title company people, etc even before we left the walk-through. The seller was in the process of signing paperwork at that moment, and we were set to sign afterwards. We all traveled over to the title company, where we spent a couple hours figuring out what to do. The seller’s agent – who basically botched the whole thing from the beginning – didn’t even show up to her client’s closing. She refused to get on the phone with our realtor, and when we said we couldn’t sign the paperwork or get funding with the house in that condition, she said she’d call her attorney. The whole situation escalated, with the clueless seller left in the middle with no idea what to do. (Clearly the lady needed a new agent and to NOT own rental property!!)

Long story short: paperwork mostly signed, seller agreed to send in someone to fix the issues that day, seller actually followed through, and we finally got the keys to the house that evening. It set us a bit behind schedule, but in the end, we made it. We got the house scrubbed up and called it a night.

Thursday: Moved 95% of our household to the new house. Up til 11pm doing this. Cats moved last, and they were all pretty okay about it except Jojo, who in true PTSD form was freaked out by the entire experience. (He’s mostly chill by now –> though still getting used to new noises.) Friday: Lots of unpacking and organization, making the house actually livable. Discovery! I was wrong not to worry about the dead mouse, because apparently there wasn’t any kind of pest control, and mice are getting into the house somehow. (The cats are very interested in this development.) Pest control called and scheduled. Wifi turned on. The house got to be about 25% livable. Saturday: A bit more unpacking and organization, then most of the day spent cleaning the previous house and getting that last 5% of stuff to the new house. House got to be about 50% livable, but my bedroom is more like 80% livable, which helps.

I’m exhausted. There is still so much to be done, so much to unpack and organize. Downsizing is very different from moving into bigger house or one the same size. There are lots of things to finagle and we’re still not sure how everything is going to fit together (this after donating TONS of furniture and such to charities that could use them). There’s also a lot of little work to be done on the house – replacing faucets, getting adapters where our appliances aren’t the same as the fixtures in the house, etc. We also still have work to do on the previous house, mostly outdoors, before we can put it on the market. All the stuff that comes with moving, right? Not to mention we still need to get all the Christmas stuff up…

Today, however, is my break day. Jason and the boys will be playing D&D, and it’s football day, and I’m going out for iced coffee with a friend later this morning. I might get the rest of my room put together – or at least as put together as I can make it until I can buy a few things – and tuck in with a book for a bit, too. I have four books out from the library right now and it’s been too long since I’ve had time to read!!

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Wellness Wednesday – A New Start

Posted on December 4, 2019 by Thistle

In a couple hours, we close on our new house. The plan for the next few days (minimum) is to do an extensive clean of the new house, move all our stuff in, then extensively clean the previous house and get it ready to go on the market. I’m unlikely to be around the blogosphere much until we get settled, but I wanted to get this written because today is an important one for me. It represents a new start on my health and fitness journey, not because moving to a new house is a new thing, but because this house is different from every other house I’ve been in since 2014: It has carpeted areas to exercise in!!!

I’ve discussed this before, the need for carpet in order to run indoors, and how upstairs floors bounce and cause joint pain/issues, etc etc. This new house is carpeted in all the right areas, and I now have both a living room and a bedroom to potentially exercise in.

This is incredibly important for me, because there are times when my agoraphobia flares up in a major way. (And it is ALWAYS a factor, even when it’s not at its worst.) When that happens, I can barely open the front door of my house, much less go out to walk/run/go to the gym/etc. Being able to run in my living room while watching a TV show or listening to an audiobook is a CRITICAL component to my health. Without a place to exercise inside my house, I lose roughly half to three-quarters of my exercise opportunities. I also have to rely on exercise like yoga, which is extremely good for me but not necessarily good for weight loss and cardiovascular health.

This new step today, moving to this new house, is not only a step forward for my family in terms of financial health. It represents a wellness opportunity for me, one I haven’t had in 5.5 years. I. Cannot. Wait.

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November 2019 in Review

Posted on December 2, 2019 by Thistle

This has been a month of changes for me and my family. Morrigan of course got home, after separating out from the navy. There’s been a lot of packing and prep to move into our new place, so the housing situation has been very transitional. And just barely, I’ve begun writing again!

Back before my family moved to Boston in 2014, my cousin Jen and I lived about five minutes drive from each other. For several years, we got together weekly to write, alternating houses. We also did a lot of walking together at the local hiking trails nearby. About six months after I moved, her life circumstances changed and she returned to work. Even after I moved home, we were rarely able to get together. She now lives on the other side of town, but starting this month, she changed to a job with more flexible hours and the two of us began to meet up again for walk-then-write sessions weekly. While I haven’t been writing anything decent, I’ve at least been writing again those days, which is awesome.

This was also Thanksgiving month, of course, which I talked about yesterday. It was nice to see so much of my extended family and I look forward to seeing even more this upcoming month.

Reading
Started the month in a slump, which ended when I opened Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts. Ended up reading a total of four books in November. Tuesday Mooney was definitely my favorite of them!

Watching
There was not a lot of time for TV/movies this month! I did finish the final episode of the Great British Baking Show this season, and watched one movie on my backlist: Yesterday, which was very different than I was expecting and quite cute. Even though I’m not a Beatles fan.

House
We decided to wait until we move to put this house on the market. This way, it can show vacant, and we don’t have to deal with the whole “five cats” issue. Or our old furniture that won’t exactly show nicely. Etc. We’re still stripping things down, packing all but essentials, scrubbing and cleaning and generally sprucing the place up, but it’s a lot less frantic than when we were trying to push flat-out last month.

Health
Transitional months aren’t good for me. I really did try to get things going again this month, then had a PTSD breakdown and spent the rest of the month in gentle self-care. Then ten-year anniversary of my original weight loss journey just passed on November 27th, and I remained about exactly where I’ve been the last few years. I’m kinda tired of repeating myself like this, I admit…and I also feel like the new house will be a bit of a new start for me. There’s one specific reason that I’ll discuss in a future post, but I have a feeling that exercise at least will be easier for me in the new place.

Highlights of November
Other highlight of the month include:

  • watching Laurence’s most recent performance, in James and the Giant Peach
  • Ambrose made the most amazing chocolate bavarois for dessert one night, mmm…
  • those Taylor vs Cat memes – they just get funnier every time. I’m such a dork.
  • making Christmas wreaths with a wonderful group of friends
  • I began the process of going back to school in the fall!
  • my new literary cats mug!!!

Coming up in December
It’s a big month. Beyond Christmas (a huge deal in my family) and New Year’s Eve, it’s Jason’s and my 20th anniversary on the 22nd. Also, we’re supposed to close on our new house in just a few days. So yeah. Lots of stuff about to happen, hopefully we have some breathing room somewhere in there right??

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Sunday Coffee – From One Holiday to the Next

Posted on December 1, 2019 by Thistle

We had a pretty good Thanksgiving. A bit different from normal, but it’s been that kind of year. Normally, we have an early Thanksgiving with my mom’s extended family, but that got canceled due to health issues of the hosts this year. Any other year, I would have offered to host instead. But of course, we’re in the process of moving, and our house is half packed away! Instead, my sisters and I planned to meet up with my mom the day before Thanksgiving. Then one of my sisters and two of her kids all got strep, and couldn’t make the trip down. It ended up being a small party indeed, but we all got tamales and that was nice. Thanksgiving itself was at my aunt and uncle’s house as usual, where we all ate and watched football and played pool etc etc. We came home fat and happy afterwards.

In my family, it’s traditional to begin the Christmas season the day after Thanksgiving. On that day, we all stay home and decorate the house while listening to Christmas music. Every once in awhile, we go out in the afternoon (once Black Friday Insanity has died down) and see if we can get a good deal on something, but this is rare and only when something specific we need/want is on a great sale. Mostly, it’s just a day to kick off the holiday spirit.

This year – totally different. Obviously, we couldn’t put up Christmas decorations, since we’re supposed to move this week. Morrigan spent the night with a friend who was in town from college, and Ambrose spent the day/night with a group of friends in a post-Thanksgiving celebration. Jason and I did chores and ran errands and generally tried to prep for the upcoming move. It was not in the least bit traditional and admittedly a bit sad.

Goal: When we move into the new house this week, one of the first things we’ll unpack is the Christmas tree and decorations. It’s unlikely we’ll get outside lights up this year, but that’s okay, as long as the inside looks as festive as possible. And I told Jason – normally we take down the decorations on New Year’s Day, but today we need to keep them up just a bit longer to compensate for our lost time. Heh. The boys just want to make sure that we still make our traditional sugar cookies this year. Of course!!!

How did the holiday week go for all of you? Also, do you like my new “literary cats” mug? I saw it at Half Price Books this week and couldn’t resist!!!

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Sunday Coffee – A Nod to Nonfiction November

Posted on November 24, 2019 by Thistle

I don’t read enough nonfiction each year to participate in Nonfiction November, but I always think of November as nonfiction month* in my head, probably because I’ve spent so many years watching other bloggers participate. Most years, I try to read something nonfiction during the month. This year, I’m going to do something a little different. Beyond reading something nonfiction in November, I’m going to answer the weekly prompts – all in one post, and a little late for some, early for others.

Week 1: Your Year in Nonfiction
Since I began blogging in 2008, nonfiction has consistently** sat around 10% of my reading each year. This year has been no different, with six of my 54 books being nonfiction. Sadly, of those six books, I only enjoyed three, and one that I didn’t enjoy actually made me furious enough to rant publicly. Of the three I enjoyed, Kid Gloves was the best. Lucy Knisley is just an amazing writer. Note: These numbers and thoughts reflect nonfiction reads only up to the end of October, when Nonfiction November began.

Week 2: Book Pairing
I’ll admit that I’m really not good at pairing books. Also, I tend to pair nonfiction with more nonfiction, heh. But I thought perhaps that my favorite nonfiction pre-November, Kid Gloves, might pair nicely with my favorite fiction of the year so far, What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. Kid Gloves deals with pregnancy, infertility, and miscarriage. What Alice Forgot has a secondary storyline that is nearly as important as the first, also dealing with pregnancy, infertility, and miscarriage. Both give a lot of good information and explore an emotional minefield that many people tend to ignore or hush up.

Week 3: Be the Expert/Ask the Expert/Become the Expert
I would never consider myself an expert on a particular topic, but there’s one nonfiction area that I know better than other areas. Back in 2011, I began reading tons about nutrition and health (with a dash of fitness on the side). I’ve read roughly three dozen books since then ranging from food history to weight loss memoirs, from running manuals to treatises on eating disorders. Three dozen may not sound like much, but considering that I read 5-10 nonfiction books per year, that’s quite a bit over eight years. A few favorites have included The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan, Consider the Fork by Bee Wilson, Wine Isn’t Rocket Science by Ophelie Neiman, Around the World in 80 Diets by Peter Menzel and Faith D’Aluisio, and Relish: My Life in the Kitchen by Lucy Knisley. I would love to hear what other folks recommend in this category!

Week 4: Nonfiction Favorites
Generally, unless nonfiction is done in graphic novel format (like with Lucy Knisley), I tend to approach it via audio. I don’t find nonfiction to be as engaging as fiction, and in print form, I tend to abandon books more frequently. However, this means that nonfiction has to jump two hurdles to make it onto my radar. Not only does it have to be written in a way that I like, but the audio narrator has to be bearable. As for the writing, I tend to be turned off by far-distance perspectives (like history books that describe big-picture movements rather than what a situation was like from the view of the people living through it), gimmicky or commercial-sounding prose, biased viewpoints, or straight-out recitation of facts. I read on a broad variety of topics, and can be hooked by nearly any subject as long as it’s written in a way that engages me (and read aloud in a way that doesn’t turn me off!).

Week 5: New to my TBR
Um…none. To be fair, I’m pretty picky about nonfiction and tend to read it in bursts, when I’m interested in specific subjects. So, can you help me add to my nonfiction TBR? Because I’ve been craving running-related nonfiction lately. Not how-to books or personal memoirs, or books about running insane ultramarathon distances. That seems to be all I can find, though, because I just don’t know enough about how to look properly. Thoughts or suggestions?

Well, that’s it for me. I only read one book for Nonfiction November, and I plan to finish another book I’ve been reading slowly throughout the whole year. And hey, that’ll be over my normal 10% thus far!

Since this upcoming week is Thanksgiving, I’m going to take the week to be with family. I’ll see y’all next Sunday, and hope you have a lovely week!

*****
*Well, I think of November as nonfiction month AND as NaNoWriMo month, but as I haven’t participated in NaNo since 2015, that has fallen a little bit aside in my head.

**Except for 2015, which bizarrely shot up to 27% nonfiction.

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Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (audio)

Posted on November 22, 2019 by Thistle

Subtitled: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Self-help is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I really loved Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are (one of my favorites of 2015), so I decided to give this one a chance as well. It’s supposed to be a guide for women to deal with the physiological reactions to stress that add up over time. I have mixed feelings about the book.

On the negative side: There is more bias in this book than I prefer in nonfiction. It is very definitely slanted toward a heavily liberal viewpoint. It doesn’t matter that I agree with the viewpoint – I just prefer my nonfiction to be a bit less biased. It’s also written a bit more layperson and simplistic than Come As You Are. I would have preferred to delve deeper into the science and to have less cutesy names for situations and feelings. Also, I didn’t particularly like the audio reading, which was read by both authors. It was overly familiar and, like the book, a bit too cutesy and slanted for me.

On the positive side: The science sources were legit. I loved that Robert Saposki – one of my favorite modern scientists and a leading researcher into biological stress science – was referenced right from the beginning. There was a lot of good information in the book and a lot of good steps to take to move your body through the stress cycle. Lots of stuff any person could put into practice. There’s also a lot of great history on gender bias, cultural norms, and discrimination of many kinds. Burnout discusses everything from body image to group connectivity (finding happiness through others is not a negative thing!!). And best of all, there’s no simple solutions or steps to just “make everything better forever!” like you find in too many self-help books.

My end-takeaway: I think I would have liked the book more had I been reading a print version, because the audio reading put me off quite a bit. I plan to acquire a copy at some point, because there’s a lot of good information in here and I think there was too much for me to absorb with just one reading. Plus, there are worksheets and steps to take over time and so many other things for which I’d like to have a physical copy to reference.

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White Sand Volume 3, by Brandon Sanderson and Rik Hoskin

Posted on November 20, 2019 by Thistle

My thoughts on this third volume of White Sand remain very similar to previous volumes:

1 – I’m not a fan of the artwork in these graphic novels. This illustrator was different in this volume, but kept with the same style. I find it hard to connect with and it’s a bit confusing to follow.

2 – It took me some time to remember what had happened in previous volumes. The story itself doesn’t have the depth and breadth of a traditional Sanderson novel, entirely due to the format it’s told in. Consequently, it took some time for me to get into the story. I did enjoy it by the end, however.

3 – At one point, Sanderson offered a rough draft version of the novel original for this series, and I requested it. It’s still waiting for me to read, and I’ll do so at some point. I’m just not a huge fan of reading books on an e-reader so I’ve put that off. Rough draft or not, I’m sure I’ll love the novel version better than the GN adaptation. However, I’ll keep reading the adaptation, because I pretty much read anything Cosmere-related.

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Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts, by Kate Racculia

Posted on November 18, 2019 by Thistle

Tuesday Mooney is comfortable with her life. She has a job she excels at, her own apartment, a couple close friends, and lots of introvert time. Part of her knows that she’s just a teensy bit bored with the routine, probably why she jumps at the chance of a treasure hunt when an eccentric old man dies and leaves a trail of clues that should lead to his fortune…

I’ll admit that I was wary going into this book. Racculia’s previous book, Bellweather Rhapsody, was a favorite of mine several years ago, and I wasn’t sure how well Tuesday would live up to it. The title didn’t particularly appeal to me. Nor the cover, nor the setting (Boston, ugh), nor the plot synopsis. But I had to give it a shot, right? I loved Bellweather Rhapsody, after all.

Opening chapter/prologue: quite intriguing, and with a bit of a spooky paranormal vibe. Totally my thing. After that first chapter, the book started a bit slow. The crux of the book, the whole treasure hunt bit, doesn’t start until roughly 50 pages in. Before that, you have characters. But here’s the thing, y’all: Racculia does characters right. There were so many reasons I was willing to try out this book and put it aside before I began, and then Racculia just came in there and began writing the realest of real characters with fascinating prose, just like she got to me the last time. The woman can write. I didn’t even like some of the characters, but I loved them at the same time.

Tuesday Mooney. She was an awesome narrator. Even though I’m nothing like the woman, I can relate to her in so many little ways. Tiny things. Very specific things, like how The Cask of Amontillado was the one Poe story I found extremely disturbing, too. Because Tuesday isn’t simply a broad character with relatable emotions; she’s a real person, with specific likes and fears and memories and history. All the characters were like that, grounding the story with solidity and realism, which was particularly important on a backdrop of mild absurdity (the whimsical and sometimes dangerous treasure hunt) and supernatural elements (are there really ghosts? or are they just tricks of the mind?).

I loved this book so much. It was the first book in AGES that I’ve taken with me everywhere, to pull out in every little downtime moment I had to read. I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump for the last month, and Tuesday made me excited about books again. PLUS, I discovered a hidden code in one of the messages that was never addressed in the story. It makes me wonder what other little Easter eggs I missed in the reading. My code-breaking mind says that I’ll probably need a reread or two to go find some. And perhaps a great discussion with some fellow likeminded folks who enjoyed the book as much as I did.

PS – I gotta say it: Thank you so much Kristen for alerting me to the publication of this book, and for introducing me to Kate Racculia’s work in the first place.

Posted in 2019, Adult, Prose | Tagged | 2 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Almost Home

Posted on November 17, 2019 by Thistle

Last weekend, we got an unexpected phone call from Morrigan. Normally he can only call on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He was feeling depressed because he’d been told that, since it was so close to the holidays, it was possible – even probable – his paperwork wouldn’t get processed until January and he wouldn’t be home until then. He’d really been hoping to make it home by Thanksgiving, so this was tough for him. We talked him through it and eventually got off the phone. I wrote to friends and family about the update and asked them to send him lots more letters.

Tuesday Morrigan and I had our normal twice-weekly conversation. Then on Wednesday morning, Morrigan called while I was driving home from dropping off the boys at school. He’d gotten his departure date. He’d be coming home the following Monday. As in, tomorrow.

This weekend has been about prep. His old room had been converted into Jason’s bedroom and office, and half the house has been packed away into the garage in anticipation of the upcoming move. Some of those packed away items include the clothing Morrigan boxed away to receive after boot camp. Whoops! So there was a lot of shuffling and digging around and adjusting. But since we’re all supposed to be moving in just a few weeks, and things will be better sorted after that.

Next steps are in progress. Morrigan has decided that since the military didn’t work out for him, he’s going back to his original plan, to go to college in Kansas. It’ll mean a lot of loans and student debt. He could go to a public school here in Texas for a lot less of all that, but he’s decided that his dream school is worth it. We’ve already talked to the school and are prepping to get him enrolled and housed for the spring semester, starting mid-January. And so we start again, back to plan, just a semester’s worth of a blip in the meantime. Morrigan will be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, he can help us move next month, and he has a tiny bit of money saved up for the future. We wish him all the best in that, and really just look forward to seeing him safely home tomorrow!!

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Not a Review: Call Down the Hawk

Posted on November 15, 2019 by Thistle

For about a year in 2014/2015, I was under continual emotional distress mixed with depression, severe anxiety, panic disorder, and worsening insomnia. The cause was outside my control, and I just kept spiraling further into a mental health crisis despite weekly sessions with a wonderful therapist and a team of doctors trying to get my medications right. When you have complex PTSD and are living with continual triggers, there is no coping. No healing. No escaping. At some point, you break.

Continue reading →

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