15th blogoversary: Hello out there…

Posted on February 15, 2023 by Thistle

Last week, I had a bit of a blogistential crisis when I realized I was approaching 15 years in this place. My data-oriented brain looked back over 2022 and ran some numbers: 144 posts; 41 (28%) that had comments; and of those, only 12 of them (29%, or 8% of my total posts) had comments from more than one person (excluding responses from me). Almost all of the comments came from a half-dozen readers. I was looking at those numbers and I thought – maybe it’s time to stop. Maybe 15 years is enough. Maybe it’s time to fully transition my social media presence away from this dinosaur platform onto platforms where I have more engagement, like Instagram or TikTok.

Except…I don’t want to migrate. I still enjoy blogging, regardless of interaction. I like having a quiet space to post my book reviews, cat stuff, photography, and monthly wrap ups. I like the organization of the Zen Leaf. I like the wealth of memories and thoughts I’ve collected over the years. Since I gave up writing fiction in 2016, this is about all I have left of wordplay, and I do still enjoy writing, a lot. Yeah, back in 2008 when I started, this was all about connecting with other people and making likeminded friends across the world. It’s not about that anymore, with so few of us left, so I have to evaluate on new criteria – something I haven’t done in a very long time.

(figured a new header would be nice for 15 years!)

There isn’t really any question of me quitting outright, so the question became, do I take this blog private, and write only for myself? Or keep writing into the void publicly, with sporadic interactions with other folks? I thought about that, how it might change things for me. If I made the Zen Leaf private, I honestly don’t imagine there would be much of a change in how I use it. After all, over 70% of my posts get no interaction at all if 2022 is any indication, and that’s never stopped me from writing or posting. If I went private, I might be less formal in reviews of books I don’t like (ha!), but otherwise, I don’t see a lot of change. That left me teetering on a fence about what to do. Fifteen years is a long time, and it might be time for a clean break.

I decided to leave the question for a week and come back to it. There were drafts ready to go for most of the time in between, when I was going to be extremely busy, so I didn’t think much about blogging during that time. Then I finished another book, and came to do my post-book wrap-up admin here, adding it to lists and prepping a blog post for when I had a chance to review it. The date of that post would need to be after this blogoversary post, which I had yet to write. I thought – this could be the first post, the first book review, that would be private. Something in my gut tugged. The book itself wasn’t significant, but I would craft my words to review it, and even if those words are only read by five or six people, it still feels better to know that they are out in the world to be read, if people so choose.

That answered my question for me. If I don’t have any blogging angst and I do this because I enjoy it, if I don’t care that the majority of my posts don’t get any engagement, then it doesn’t matter if I continue publicly or privately. However, if it feels better on a gut level to keep going the way I always have? There’s no reason not to at that point. I can write for me and me alone, publicly. And for those half-dozen folks who have been here for so long, I still see you, and appreciate you, and know you’re celebrating 15 years with me. We might all be blogging dinosaurs, but we haven’t completely disappeared yet. Cheers!

Posted in Personal | 11 Comments

February Self Portrait: Valentine’s

Posted on February 13, 2023 by Thistle

One of my goals this year is to do a monthly personal photoshoot as a way to:

  1. get outside my comfort zone;
  2. practice taking portraits (particularly trying out posing techniques to understand better what works in front of the camera, so I can give instruction from behind the camera);
  3. try out new techniques, styles, and edits;
  4. and get a little more comfortable in my own skin.

Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Sunday Coffee – In the Air Force Now (Again)

Posted on February 12, 2023 by Thistle

Back in August, I posted about Ambrose’s graduation from AFBMT. Originally, Ambrose decided to sign up for the Air Force with their best friend Tyler, and the two were planning to attend basic training together in some kind of buddy system. However, Tyler’s paperwork took much longer, and their approval into the AF didn’t come until long after Ambrose was done with basic and off to Korea. It was also long after the two of them had their proxy marriage ceremony in September. Finally, not long before Christmas, Tyler’s approval and ship date came through, and they started BMT right before the holiday.

We’ve known Tyler for a long time now. Ambrose and Tyler first became friends in 2017 when my family moved back to TX from Wisconsin, and Tyler’s mother was stationed in San Antonio. The two of them were always out together and we lived close together. The families all spent time with each other, until Tyler’s family relocated with the army to out in Alabama sometime during the pandemic. Until that move, Tyler was in our pandemic “bubble,” playing Dungeons & Dragons (and other RPGs) with Jason, Ambrose, and sometimes Morrigan and Laurence first over Zoom/Skype, and post-vaccine, at our house. Even after Ambrose left for BMT and Tyler was living across the country, Jason and Tyler continued to play their games through video-chat. So in a lot of ways, Tyler has been family for a long time, and their family considers Ambrose as part of their family too.

Unlike Ambrose, Tyler invited everyone to their graduation. (Ambrose asked that no one come to theirs.) Jason and I got tickets, and Tyler’s family flew in from Alabama. The whole group of us spent a big chunk of Wednesday and Thursday hanging out, and it was so good to see not just Tyler but the rest of the family too. Lots of long hugs, lots of support, lots of happiness to join families. Because Tyler and Ambrose’s wedding was unconventional in a lot of ways – a proxy ceremony, so there was no event to attend, not to mention they’ve called it a platonic marriage/life partnership, and it was all very quick – we had no real idea of how comfortable everyone was going to be. But the family is so great, and they were all so happy to welcome Ambrose in, and excited to all be tied together legally. They’ve been so supportive of both kiddos and their continued journeys in career and life. Ambrose could not have chosen a better family to join, and I’m overjoyed to welcome Tyler into ours.

Posted in Personal | Tagged | 2 Comments

Spells For Forgetting, by Adrienne Young (audio)

Posted on February 10, 2023 by Thistle

August hasn’t been back to the island of Saoirse since he left with his mother after he was accused of killing one of his classmates right after graduation. His mother is dead now, and her last request was to bury her ashes on the island. But when August arrives back in Saoirse, the island’s secrets start to emerge, leaving him embroiled in even more danger than when he left.

TW: child abuse, physical violence/assault

That’s a pitiful description, but honestly, the official blurb invested way too much into this book. It sounded so interesting, the premise was so good, and then it was a lot of setup for no real payoff. The magic and curses and folklore? Could’ve been cut altogether without really changing the story. Felt more like old wives’ tales that had no substance in them for 99% of the book. The murder mystery? Dull. Character development? There were like three (I think?) old ladies in this book and I have no idea which is which after an entire 12 hours with them, and they’re important to the story. The love story part? Straight out of YA angst with a thin layer of literary shine on it. (Especially after August shows himself to be a carelessly violent person just like his whole family line before him. We’re supposed to cheer for this guy? I’m so tired of toxic masculinity being praised because sometimes the guy is sensitive. Assault is assault, and if you can’t control your temper, I’m done with you.) It was just…not worth it. Disappointing. My first disappointing read of the year.

Honestly, I almost quit reading when there was less than two hours left on the audiobook. I’d already past the point where August is an asshole and somehow no one cares, and the climax wasn’t going anywhere. There’s this weird urgency to Emery’s discoveries – Emery is the love interest and other main narrator – as if something is going to happen right then, as if suddenly the one bit of maybe-magic is going to mean something, and then it didn’t, and we skipped to an epilogue? Or something? I don’t know. The whole thing just didn’t work for me. (Especially the chapter told from the point of view of the island itself.)

Performance: I originally got this book from BotM, but because I was feeling more like audio, I also grabbed that version from my library. I didn’t realize that it was read by nine different people! I’m not generally a fan of audiobooks that have so many narrators that I have to categorize them under the “multiple readers” header, and I can’t really review it because some were good performances, some weren’t, and I don’t know who was who. For the record, the nine narrators were: Emily Rankin, Dan Bittner, Mark Deakins, Kimberly Farr, Ari Fliakos, Dawn Harvey, Carrington MacDuffie, Kirsten Potter, and Oliver Wyman.

Posted in 2023, Adult, Prose | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Wellness Wednesday – Note To Self

Posted on February 8, 2023 by Thistle

One of the side effects of Mounjaro is that it slows gastric emptying, essentially making you feel fuller for longer. I don’t know how it does this, or what the point is in terms of what the medicine was originally designed to do (stabilize blood sugar, lower a1c). For me, the important part is that when your stomach takes a lot longer to empty, you have to be mindful of a few things.

1) Any medicine that is a timed release will work differently. The timing is based on normal gastric emptying, so if the release is meant to happen after the medicine is in your intestines, it might start in the stomach instead, and that will change the way your body absorbs it. For instance, when I had covid in November, the antivirals caused me to have much stronger side effects than normal because of when the medicine entered my system. I’ve also had to monitor my extended release anti-anxiety medicine to make sure it continues to function properly.

2) The slowing of your digestive system can cause cramping and abdominal pain if you eat too much fat or fiber. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced too much with regards to this because I’m pretty moderate (for better or for worse) on both fat and fiber.

3) If you eat too much in one sitting, you open yourself up to potential stomach pain, heartburn, and acid reflux.

Now, I’ve suffered from varying amounts of heartburn and acid reflux ever since my abdominal surgery nine years ago. I’m 99% sure that the doctor who did the surgery basically compressed my organs/muscles in a way that they press on my stomach, causing the above symptoms, as well as an inability to properly detect hunger cues. I never had any problems with those things prior to that surgery (minus pregnancy-related heartburn with my oldest child). I control much of the chronic acid-based symptoms through a combination of careful nutrition balancing and a doctor-monitored medicine regimen. About 50% of my days, I’m able to go without any medication at all, and the other half, I take a preventative. Only very rarely since I began the preventative last summer have I had any heartburn or acid reflux symptoms.

However, since I began the Mounjaro, I’ve had to be super careful, especially about the fat content of my food. Heavy fats, particularly those from animal products, tend to cause more acid problems. Now, I already preferred the taste of leaner cuts of meat, but even 90% lean beef will periodically cause problems if I eat too much in one sitting. Forget cheese or eggs in more than small quantities.

I fucked up last weekend. We made one of my favorite meals, Cincinnati chili, and I kinda didn’t pay attention to the quantity I was eating. Those four weeks on the lower level of Mounjaro during the shortage was enough time for me to forget the Rules. So I ate way too much, including far more meat/fat than I should have. Afterwards, my stomach began to hurt, a lot. That’s when I realized that I’d fucked up. I didn’t realize just how badly until I woke up at 4am with severe reflux and had to spend the rest of the night propped up in a sitting position, with emergency meds to try to control it. Whoops!

Note to self: I don’t care how much you like a meal, over-eating is not going to make you feel good!

Posted in Wellness | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Full Moon

Posted on February 6, 2023 by Thistle

Last night’s moon was beautiful. I do wish I had a better lens. My telephoto lens is on the cheaper end of lenses. It has a hard time focusing properly, and has a bit of lens creep. I don’t have a telescope or anything to take photos the easy way – I have to do it just with camera and tripod. One day, right?

Posted in Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

Sunday Coffee – Lockwood & Co

Posted on February 5, 2023 by Thistle

On Friday, I found out that there was a new Lockwood & Co series running on Netflix. I hadn’t heard anything about it and Netflix didn’t recommend it to me on my account, but I guess it had only released a couple days before that so I’m not too far behind. In any case, I loved Jonathan Stroud’s Lockwood books and was sad when the series ended, so I thought this might be a good way to revisit the series.

Note: I’m not Netflix’s biggest fan right now. I don’t use the service much anyway, but we keep it around because we share with our kids. We pay extra to have it on six screens, so each of the five of us can have it on our phones, plus on our TV. This whole “we’re taking away password-sharing” fiasco has really pissed so many people off, and even more, the whole walking it back without apology, pretending it was a mistake even though their US customer service was already trained on how to answer questions about college kids, deployed spouses, etc. Fiasco is such a mild word. It’s like they’re trying to go out of business. Again. I’m honestly not sure how long before they pull another stunt like this, so my goal is to get through any shows I have sitting around that I haven’t finished yet so I can cancel as soon as they do.

But back to Lockwood. I watched the first two episodes on Friday evening, and the rest yesterday. I’m generally indifferent on movie adaptations of books, unlike many readers. Sometimes I like the movie but not the book (like The Hours). Often the book is far better (like with the HP series). Sometimes seeing the movie helps me with a book I haven’t been able to get into yet (like Northanger Abbey), and sometimes the movie tells me that I was right to abandon the book (like The Great Gatsby). I don’t have any true preference on seeing the movie or reading the book first; it just depends. And I’ve always felt like most book adaptations would be far better in series format. So much more of the detail can be put in, there’s expanded time for rich settings and character development, backstories can be explored, and so on. I’ve loved quite a few mini-series – Jonathan Strange, Good Omens, Poldark (before it got rapey…) – so I was really excited to hear about this one. I’d long suspected Lockwood would be good as a TV show!

I loved it. There were a few things that changed, like aging up the characters a bit, but generally I thought this was a really well-done adaptation. I’m looking forward to the second season, but unlike other folks, I’ve read the books so I know what’s on the other end of that last cliffhanger! I’m good to wait for the next binge. Meanwhile, I think the guy who plays Lockwood did a fabulous job projecting Lockwood’s cocky arrogance with a hint of humanity underneath. Lucy is spectacularly spunky, and George’s character was changed a bit from his rather stereotypical book self, so a change for the better. It was also fun to see a few actors I recognized, like Mr Diggery from HP4. The one thing that kept throwing me off, though, was that three of the prominent characters looked so much like young versions of already-famous actors and actresses. Lucy was a dead ringer for a babyfaced Jennifer Lawrence. Quill Kipp is a teenaged Rufus Sewell. Lockwood looks like if Daniel Radcliffe and Tobey Maguire had a child together. I kept thinking I’d seen all three of them in former shows/movies, but no, it was just that uncanny resemblance. Heh. Last but not least, the show soundtrack is fire!

Has anyone else watched these? I highly recommend them, though if you haven’t read the books, that last cliffhanger is going to get you, haha! View the trailer here.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Saying Goodbye to Petunia

Posted on February 3, 2023 by Thistle

Today, we have an emotional goodbye.

Little Petunia came home with us on December 27th. I wasn’t planning on bringing in another foster in 2022. Dexter and Deedee went into the shelter for surgery and adoption in mid-November, and at the time, we told the foster office that we had about three more weeks that we could welcome more kittens. But mid-November is when kitten season finally starts to slow here, so there weren’t any good foster candidates that we could bring home before Laurence returned home from college over Christmas. Since Laurence’s bedroom doubles as the foster room when he’s not home, we said we’d be back to fostering in mid-January.

Honestly, it took me by surprise how forlorn I felt after only three weeks without any kittens to care for. Laurence hadn’t even arrived home yet, and I was pining. After he was home, my attention was obviously diverted for a bit, but even then, I missed having kittens around. It’s not just that they’re cute and fun. They’re that, yes, but fostering is far more than playing with animals. Many fosters start on medicine for worms, fleas, upper respiratory infections, diarrhea, etc. You have to watch to make sure they’re eating enough, they’re gaining weight, their poop is the right consistency and color, they have enough energy, and more. As the foster parent, you’re the one who can provide information to the shelter about these animals that adopters might need to know. No one knew, for instance, that Dexter and Deedee had mild cerebellar hypoplasia before we got them home. Not every kitten is going to be on the brink of death like some we’ve had, but every kitten is going to need monitoring. Additionally, as a foster parent, it’s your job to socialize the animals so that they make good candidates for homes, and to provide info about their personalities and needs for potential adopters.

Point being, these kittens are a big part of my life, and while fostering is a volunteer job, I find purpose and satisfaction in it. I know I’m doing good for these animals. And so after a full six weeks without fosters – even with Laurence home – I cracked. Little Petunia was a singleton who was supposed to be with us for two weeks while she gained weight. We could put her in Jason’s room since the foster room was occupied, as she was a singleton. (Why not my room? Mine has carpet. Otherwise, we would.)

We thought, from the description on the foster list, that Petunia was a relatively healthy kitten, but when we picked her up, it turned out she had diarrhea and a stubborn upper respiratory infection that took three rounds of different antibiotics to clear. In those early days, she was clingy and cuddly and sweet. She got so lonely if she had to stay in her room, so we often ended up bringing her to other parts of the house with us, curled up on chests or perched on shoulders, as we did other things. Our cats were very interested in her, even Jojo, who hates 99% of other cats. She wasn’t the foster that I got emotionally closest to, but she was the first one that made me think, wow, she’d fit right in with our household if we didn’t already have seven. (No, I didn’t consider adopting her for a second.)

Her cuddliness was a ruse, though. Turns out, she’s a devil-kitten. Kidding. Really, any kittens that aren’t feeling well are going to snuggle a lot, as close to your skin as possible, because they’re running fevers and feel cold. Never assume a sick kitten’s personality is their true personality! Once Petunia started feeling better, it turned out she was a fearless adrenaline fiend who loved to run, explore, and jump out at you to scare you (and herself). Now, this little girl was incredibly well-taught by her kitty-mother and siblings, because no matter how into her wrestling she got, she never used claws and never bit down even if she put her mouth on your fingers. She was an angel masquerading as a devil, the sort of daredevil who would thrive on midnight horror movies and the biggest rollercoasters if she were human. And when she tired of play, she’d curl right up against you to snuggle while she slept.

Cats are social creatures, and kittens need playmates. The first time I was told that two kittens are better than one, I thought someone was just trying to pressure me into getting more cats. They were right, though. Kittens shouldn’t be singletons. They need other kittens to wrestle, to teach, to learn from, to groom, to snuggle with. Without another kitten, Petunia had to do all that with us instead. She took three times as much attention and energy as other batches of kittens, who could keep each other warm and entertained. I don’t mind, but I do hope that she goes to a home either with another kitten, or at least with other animals to make friends with.

I know this post is long, so I’m going to end with a funny little story. We can always tell when a foster is ready to move on when they begin to escape. With Petunia’s unique circumstances, she stayed with us a lot of the time. In the evenings, she’d be in my room (all the other cats kicked out) for a pre-bedtime play-and-snuggle before I went to sleep. Earlier this week, I got up from where Jason and I were talking and scrolling Tiktok (yes, we’re old!), and didn’t see Petunia on my armchair, which is where she usually settles in after she’s done playing. I realized I hadn’t heard her playing for quite some time. We looked around, but she wasn’t anywhere in the room. It turned out, she’d slipped through the door about an hour earlier, and she’d spent the entire time that we thought she was in with us out in the wider house, exploring and interacting with our cats. The scamp! Thankfully, none of our cats reacted poorly. They’re pretty used to seeing her around, but you never know what will happen when they start interacting. That’s why it’s meant to be monitored! Oh, Petunia! Hopefully this little girl finds her forever home quickly!

Posted in Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

January 2023 in Review

Posted on February 1, 2023 by Thistle

January was lovely. Honestly, I’m not used to January being a mostly-good month. My depression cycles – which have remained fairly consistent since I was about 13 or 14 years old – usually involve me having a great first 2-3 weeks of January and then crashing hard somewhere around the 18th of the month. (Yeah, it’s so regulated that it’s almost always within a day of the 18th specifically!!) I don’t know if it’s getting older and closer to menopause or peri-menopause (you notice this started not long after puberty!), or if several years on the right anxiety medication is smoothing things out, but I didn’t really have a crash this year. I had a week toward the end where I didn’t feel great, though that was right in line with PMS, so I don’t really count it. Is that all TMI? I don’t care. I have a female body, and the older I get, the more ridiculous it seems to hide talk of what every female body goes through. So anyway, it was a lovely month for the most part, and a really good start to the year. I feel good about 2023 so far and I hope that continues! The last two years were a bit rough for me and I’d love for 2023 to be a good one! [Pic: A random January photo of my bonded kitties, Atticus and Jojo, snuggling.]

Reading and Watching
After barely reading anything for months, January started with a bang! I read 7 books this month, and really enjoyed them! Trying to pick a favorite is agonizing! There was a Cosmere book, two books that were new volumes of old comfort series, an incredible nonfiction (a rarity for me), and two books far out of my comfort zone that completely blew me away. How do you pick a favorite out of all that?? There were all sorts of favorites here! So honestly, I’ve decided to reserve judgement, and call my favorite of January as a TBD, to look back on in a few months while all these incredible books aren’t still swimming around so close to the surface of my brain.

House
Oy. It’s been a saga this month, mostly because the folks who “fixed” the bathroom in December had to come out and re-fix it three times. And then the drywall guy had to fix something else that the plumbers should have done. Literally they didn’t connect the overflow drain pipe to the pipe underneath. They left a two inch gap. WTF?? So it’s an ongoing mess that’s been a constant source of construction – floors ripped up, holes in the wall, only one usable bathroom – for almost two months now. UGH.

(the former brown walls in my room)

Other than that, Jason took a week off work mid-month, and we repainted and rearranged my bedroom. That was one of my bonus goals for 2023, so yay for getting it done! At least one room went to plan! (PS – I still need artist suggestions, though!)

Goals
I don’t usually expect to finish goals in January, but I did actually manage a couple! Our garage is cleaned out, including the last two large items I wanted to sell or give away to friends (rather than leaving on the curb). My bedroom is also done, which I’ve already talked about. Other than that, I made normal progress toward goals: my first monthly photo book ordered, personal and group photoshoots done, used up some wax melts, etc. I feel good about the progress made this month!

The Ferals
Two cats TNRed this month! Unicorn and Feather will both have safer, happier, healthier lives going forward. Hopefully, they’ll all end up friends (including Lord Grey) and continue to use our home as their base so we can care for them.

(look at those beautiful ear-tips!)

We’ve also continued to foster Petunia, who needed three rounds of different antibiotics to treat her upper respiratory infection. She’s finally symptom-free, though, and this kitten – who was only meant to be with us for about two weeks when we got her right after Christmas – will be going in for surgery and adoption this Friday! There haven’t been a lot of cats on the foster list lately, so we’ll probably take a week to do some deep cleaning, in preparation for kitten season, which will be here any minute.

Health/Fitness
This month has mostly been about managing my health without the proper medication. Back in November, my doctor wanted to move me from the 5mg to 7.5mg level of Mounjaro, after about 12 weeks at the 5mg level. Unfortunately, there was a national shortage on the 7.5mg dose, so we kept on the 5mg for another four weeks…only to have the shortage increase to include the 5mg when I needed my refill in late December. I had to drop back to the 2.5mg level for four weeks. That is the beginning “pre-therapeutic” dose, and while it did really well for me in the beginning, it’s not meant to help longterm.

(hikes of January)

And it didn’t. Through most of January, I struggled with hypoglycemia and blood sugar issues, and it was difficult to keep my weight stable. Thankfully, I was able to move back up to the 5mg level in late Jan. There’s been no nausea side effects the way there was in the 16wks I was on this level before, so yay for that! On the downside, while this has re-stabilized my blood sugar, it hasn’t truly induced weight loss again, so I’m still sitting around the same place I was at before Christmas. I’m thankful that I kept any regain to the ounces rather than pounds, but I’m also looking forward to continuing forward with a higher dose in the future. Hopefully this whole shortage thing is resolved soon! As of today, my total loss since late August is around 16.5 lbs.

Favorite Photos
Because I’ve been posting my group and personal photoshoots in their own posts over the last few month, I’ve decided to exclude the favorites from those from my monthly review. So the following are the photos outside those shoots that are my faves.

Clockwise from top left: Unicorn’s Big Stretch; nectarine blossoms under freezing rain; a message found in the crook of a tree; game night with my lovely friends (Jennine, Sisa, Alia)

Highlights of January
Once again, it’s been a lovely, lovely month!

  • Kickoff of the Year of Sanderson!
  • spending time with my brother and baby sister before they both leave SA
  • playing Cat Lady (board/card game) with Jason and Laurence
  • Lord Grey mewing at me and almost approaching me, within 3 feet! Then eating in front of me when I was standing not 5 ft away!
  • all the stuff for the Gutter Glitter photoshoot, even overcoming the embarrassment of people staring at me
  • the Mr Brown Can Moo rap (ha!)
  • an incredible exchange with creatives Reneé and Zara at Mildfire
  • connecting with another cat rescuer on my street
  • nerdy board game nights – I know I say this just about every month, but these nights truly are highlights of each month!
  • being able to help out several friends in need
  • bowling with friends even though we’re all awful at it, heh
  • getting my first Chatbook that documents Jason’s and my first cruise in 2012
  • my Hoid box arrived!!
  • celebrating my uncle’s 60th birthday, including seeing several of my aunts for the first time since pre-pandemic!
  • silly photo session with Sarah, followed by drinks at Mildfire, where my dad and stepmom just happened to be when I arrived, and where I also got to talk to Reneé about setting up more photoshoots
  • all of Petunia (my foster kitten)’s antics – she is the queen of bleps!
  • our Roomba. That was an expense I didn’t know we needed and I’m so happy we bit the bullet and went forward with it.
  • kind interactions with an Etsy seller who accidentally sent me the wrong item

Coming up in February
Valentine’s, Galentine’s, hopefully more photos! J and I have plans to visit an interactive art museum sometime near mid-month as a Valentine’s date (we never go on the day itself – too crowded!), and perhaps we’ll start work on rebuilding our garden towards the end of the month (prime planting time in south Texas!).

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

The Spare Man, by Mary Robinette Kowal

Posted on January 30, 2023 by Thistle

Tesla Crane is on her honeymoon, a cruise to Mars. She revels in her anonymity with a spoofed ID and appearance, no bodyguards to surround her and give her away. But only a few days into what’s meant to be a glorious trip, there’s a murder right outside her cabin door, and her spouse is arrested for it.

This book is well beyond my comfort zone. I don’t generally read science fiction, especially space-based sci-fi, but this one is set on a cruise ship, and long time readers will know that I love a cruise setting!! Plus, I follow the author on TikTok and her writing content is awesome. And I also read that Sanderson/Kowal duet The Original back in 2021, and that was really great. All good motives to get out of my comfort zone, and I’m glad I did, because reading The Spare Man was a very interesting experience.

I am the sort of reader who tends to be drawn more toward fluid writing, atmospheric tone, and life just exploding from the page. I’m less drawn toward writing and storytelling that is more technical and/or precise in nature, like this one. This kind of writing, while excellent, often doesn’t engage my emotions as easily, and so the experience of the book doesn’t stick with me. This is the first time that I’ve read a book so skillfully done, technical layers built on top of each other so well, that before I’ve realized what happened, I’m emotionally invested in everything from the characters to the setting to the plot. Most of the books I’ve read that focus on this precision tend to hit one note, with built-in layers to give it depth. The Spare Man was more like multiple melodies being played simultaneously, each masterfully done on its own, but somehow blending into a larger creation. A book is often greater or lesser than the sum of its parts; The Spare Man felt like exactly the sum of its parts, which is both mind-blowing and unique, at least for my experience. I loved it.

There are so many things I could discuss about this book. Gender is approached in a fascinating way – not just that folks have pronouns attached to their names, but they are described by the narrator in a way that has no indication of typical gender markers. As a person who has grown up in a generally binary culture, it was difficult to form mental pictures of characters without those gendered touchstones, which challenged me to examine even further my already-liberal views of gender. Disability and mental health were also heavy focuses, as Tesla suffers from various physical injuries and pain from a former traumatic accident that also gave her anxiety, panic attacks, and severe PTSD with flashbacks. Her physical condition is ever-present in the text, just as it is ever-present with Tesla herself.

Then there is the dog. Y’all, I’m not a dog person. I mean, I’ve known dogs that I love and enjoy being around, but it’s not like with cats. I love every cat. I see photos of them and just melt. Dogs are…just dogs. But Gimlet, Tesla’s service dog, wormed her little way into my heart in the same way she wins over just about everyone in this book. I’ve read plenty of fictional dogs before, and I can’t remember another that I loved like this one.

Of course, the book isn’t perfect – no book is, right? There are a lot of unanswered question (even minor ones) that I wish I had answers to, some of which aren’t even related to the mystery! (Highlight to read, contains very minor spoilers: What did Jalna want to talk to Tesla about in the theatre? What did “hourglass” mean, and did it have any significance? Who was the Mx Smith asking about tee time, with the freckles and red hair? Why is Annie’s cruel and out-of-character outburst in the theatre never addressed? End.) It’s possible some of these have answers and I just missed them, particularly towards the end when I was reading far faster and later in the night than I should have been. It’s definitely a book that would benefit from reread.

Perhaps I’ll do that sometime. I know the audiobook is supposed to be good, and read by Kowal herself. And then I can find out how Mx is pronounced. Heh.

Posted in 2023, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment