The Zen Leaf

Wellness Wednesday #21: Depression

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Thistle

So you know that metaphor I used, about edging over the peak of a mountain? Well. I kept feeling that way, until ten days ago, when I suddenly fell into a deep crevasse. Dazed, I spent four days just trying to make sense of the situation, before coming to the conclusion: I’m not getting out of here alone. Then I called for a ladder.

Out of metaphoric terms? I’ve been fighting depression for months. The main reason my physician took me off my anti-anxiety meds in September was that they were working too well, causing the depression to worsen as my anxiety sources disappeared. I put up a good fight, but last Monday, I was hurled into the worst kind of depression. The can’t-focus, no-energy, can’t-even-basic-hygiene kind. It took four days of wading through this to capitulate and call the physician. They got me in right away, and back on (a different) medication I go.

True Confessions
I hate medication. I grew up in a family that taught me to strive for absolute, total independence. Dependence on anything, including medication, makes me very uncomfortable. This is the second time in the last fifteen months that I’ve had to surrender and say, Nope, can’t do this on my own! My brain and hormones are completely off-balance, and I have to trust my doctor, therapist, medication, and support system to help me get back to Manda-normal.

I don’t know how long that will take. In the meantime, just to note, I may be a bit more absent from the blog (and social media in general) in the upcoming weeks, depending on how quickly my brain improves. I’m in good hands, though, surrounded by people who love me and will help to rescue me from the crevasse and get me started on my way again.

Posted in Wellness | Tagged psychology, Wellness Wednesday | 8 Comments

Words of Radiance, by Brandon Sanderson (audio)

Posted on January 18, 2016 by Thistle

Book Two of the Stormlight Archive, following The Way of Kings. Note: this review will not contain book spoilers, but will contain spoilers for The Way of Kings.

Shallan and Jasnah make their way toward the shattered plains with information they believe crucial to the war efforts there. Kaladin, now freed and working for High Prince Dalinar, struggles with the balance between his duty and his need for vengeance. Dalinar, betrayed by a supposed friend and ally, is still receiving powerful visions that he only barely believes are real. A countdown appears on the walls of the war camp: 62 days until death, destruction, apocalypse.

That is a terrible description of this book. It’s really hard to sum up an 1100-page book in a paragraph like that. It’s also really hard to review this kind of book, so instead of attempting a cohesive, flowing single-review, I’m just going to bullet-point this one with my scattered thoughts.

I jumped into the 49-hour audio of this book right after finishing my re-listen of The Way of Kings (hereafter TWoK). I didn’t expect it to grab me so completely from the beginning, but it only took five days to finish the audio. By the time I got to the last 150 pages or so, the audio wasn’t fast enough, so I grabbed the physical copy and raced through to the end. I finished the audio the next day, going back over the crazy jumble of events in those last 150 pages. Then I started listening to the book all over again from the beginning. Yes, it is that good. I had some reservations about the first book. None for Words of Radiance (hereafter WoR) – it was phenomenal.
My biggest reservation about TWoK had to do with long periods of the book focused on continuous fighting, and the long drop of Shallan’s storyline. WoR had far more balance to it, which I really appreciated.
On that note, it also branched out into viewpoints we hadn’t seen before, particularly into that of the parshendi. One of the things I love most about Sanderson is his ability to set up a world that seems straightforward until he starts shifting the viewpoint around, peeling off layers, showing that everyone’s story has good points and bad points. There are no “bad guys” and “good guys.” Everyone is a different shade of grey.
Another wonderful Sanderson thing: I don’t know if he’s ever claimed a particular Hogwarts house, but the man Hufflepuffs sooooo well. This book had me tearing up in places, and not necessarily when people died. It was the great acts of friendship, loyalty, and camaraderie that affected me so much. There’s a scene with Kaladin and Hobber that brought home everything wonderful about friendships…
Speaking of death, there was certainly death here. Lots of it. It’s war, after all. Normally, I wouldn’t make comparisons, but I feel one is apt here. There is death, but it is not like Game of Thrones (hereafter GoT) death. None of it felt over the top, or superfluous, or disproportionately too much.
Continuing on the compare-to-GoT theme: These are both huge long fantasy series with war and politics and such, but they feel nothing alike to me. When I was reading GoT (before giving it up), it felt like the various plotlines were getting further and further apart, expanding outwards. I worried the same would happen here – especially feeling like Shallan’s story as she crosses the frostlands might end up a lot like Arya’s when she’s making her journey in the third GoT book – but it didn’t. The novel was very tightly woven, with plotlines getting closer together, and new stories introduced whenever too many converged. It was a nice balance.
It was fun to see minor characters from the first book come back as slightly less minor characters here. Sometimes it took me awhile to realize who they were. That lent a “small world” feeling without the “amazing coincidence” feeling.
It was very hard to read the sections where main characters made really bad decisions. It certainly made for furthering the story-complications (or will, in later books, in the case of late-in-book decisions), but it was still hard to read and made me want to shake certain characters to bring them back to their senses.
Which leads me to: These characters feel very real. I get very involved in their world, their mindsets, their viewpoints. This is another area where Sanderson excels. Sometimes, it means I get overly invested in the characters, and honestly I don’t mind that at all.
It’s not just the people-characters who are wonderful. Normally, I’m not a fan of sentient other-creatures in books. I have a hard time with familiars and talking pets and that sort of thing. But the spren…they are AWESOME. I especially loved Pattern, Shallan’s spren. I think he made the book so much more than it would have been otherwise.
Super-duper minor spoiler (highlight to read): Near the end of the book, an old friend from a different Sanderson book shows up, cheerily asking if a character wants to go destroy some evil today. My eyes just about bugged out. I had a total !!! reaction, and came running out to where my oldest son was sitting, and had to read the section to him and watch his face light up. (He’s read that book.) (end spoiler)

That’s about all I can say without revealing more about the book than I should. As I said before, it was excellent. I can’t wait for the next book, and I’m a bit sad that it won’t come out until 2017!! I’m very thoroughly invested in this series and these characters now, in a way I wasn’t back when I first read TWoK.

Performance: The audiobook was read by Kate Reading and Michael Kramer, and they both did an excellent job. I was particularly enthralled with Reading’s handling of Pattern, the buzzing, humming spren bonded to Shallan. At one point while I was listening, I was home with my younger two boys, and I had the audiobook playing at the table while we ate. It was in a section where Pattern is translating a stick’s thoughts (long story), and the stick simply repeats, “I am a stick!” in a very self-satisfied way. The boys had no idea what was going on in the audiobook, but they loved this so much that they kept listening, and grew interested in the story despite not having any backstory. Now, they periodically they start humming or buzzing like Pattern at opportune moments. Ha!

Posted in 2016, 2017, 2020, Adult, Prose | Tagged audio, Cosmere, divinity, dream-invader, favorite, multi-read, reread, speculative | 8 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Sick-Reading

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Thistle

When I was young, I discovered that repetitive action carried on too long was often followed by illness. I don’t mean that I would get tired or nauseous or simply not feel well. I mean full-blown, immune-system compromised drawn-out illness. Of course, I can’t say whether the repetitive action caused the illness, or if the upcoming illness caused my brain to tend toward repetitive action. I can only say that over and over, repetitive action came right before strep throat, ear infections, influenza, bronchitis, and the like.

Example: A 14-year-old Manda spends Thanksgiving at her grandmother’s house, playing Mario Brothers with her cousins for hours. By the time she goes to bed, her thumbs are overworked and painful, her dreams are repetitive black-and-white versions of video game clips, and she wakes up with strep throat and fever aches all over. Example: A 15-year-old Manda borrows U2’s Zooropa from a friend and listens to it four times in a row, until her throat is swelling up (no, she wasn’t singing at all, just listening) and her ears are painful (no, it wasn’t turned on loud, or on headphones) and her lungs are congested. She goes to the doctor, where she’s diagnosed with double ear infections, strep throat, and bronchitis. Example: A 21-year-old Manda spends all day studying different models of computer, trying to decide which to buy, only to go to bed that evening and wake up with the flu after black-and-white repetitive dreams of computer specs.

Example: A 36-year-old Manda spends five days listening to a 49-hour audiobook, getting just a little sicker and more congested and more run down each day, until she can barely get out of bed. (And is subsequently diagnosed with bronchitis.)

This, my friends, is what I refer to as sick-reading: the act of reading so fast, so long, and/or so frequently that it consumes you and your body breaks down completely.

Does this happen to anyone else? I don’t have a clue. All I know is that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten much better about reading my body-cues and not getting to the point of full-blown illness during repetitive actions, whether that’s reading or listening to music or crocheting. I’ve also gotten much better at pushing myself just far enough that I only get a little sick (yay Manda!). I allow this with certain books – in particular, with those unputdownable, can’t-stop-reading sorts of books. Sometimes, the sick-reading turns the book(s) sour for me, like when I read/hated The Knife of Never Letting Go. If I barrel my way through a book, it has to be really excellent (or really short) to escape falling prey to sick-reading. Even then, I often wish I’d forced myself to go more slowly by the time I close the book/end the audio.

Really, though – does anyone else experience this, with reading or otherwise?? I’d be interested to know…

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged Sunday Coffee | 4 Comments

View from the Desk

Posted on January 15, 2016 by Thistle

The view from my desk has changed quite often in the last year. Going into 2015, I’d converted to a makeshift standing desk, only to discover over the next six months that 1) standing for long periods of time while trying to write fiction made for very ouchy feet, and 2) I was more likely to disconnect my laptop and go sit on the couch whenever I needed to spend any extensive time on the computer. When I was offered a free desktop convertible desk right before we moved, I definitely took it.

Writing has been difficult for me for the last few years. A big chunk of that has been because of the troubles and struggles during that time. Part of it, though, got a lot worse after we sold our house and moved across the country to Massachusetts. I never did find a comfortable desk setup – sitting or standing – and so I became distracted easily whenever I tried to write. When we first moved back to Texas this summer, I loved settling into the new house, and I loved my new office setup. Only it wasn’t long before we had to rearrange the room, and relocate my office area. And I found that I still had a lot of trouble writing, particularly with getting distracted.

About a week ago, I took a look at my office space. I was situated into a place with a lot of room behind me. The boys deal with all their backpacks in that space, or got onto the elliptical (also behind me). I had the unused fireplace to my right, the boys’ desk to my left, and the dining room and kitchen in front of me. I found myself turning to look out over the living room often, especially out the large front window. The dining room and kitchen are places of chaos and stress for me (long story), and I prefer to look out windows instead of at places of chaos and stress. The whole setup felt wrong somehow, and I decided that now was a good time to change.

Change doesn’t have to be big. This one pretty much involved swapping my desk with the boys’ desk. (Pic is terrible, but gives the right idea.) Now, their desk and the kitchen/dining are to my right, my elliptical and the backpacks are to my left, the fireplace is behind me, and I look out over the living room toward the big front window. I can see all my books from this vantage point, all the crocheted throws covering the couch and chairs, and all the parts of the room I love. My back is protected, so that it doesn’t feel like someone can come up behind me suddenly (this is a PTSD thing).

Will this mean that I can write again? I don’t know. I still have troubles and struggles, and I’m well out of the habit of regular writing. But I think changing the shape of my office area and the layout of my space can really help me to feel calmer and less distracted. Even if it doesn’t turn out to help with the writing, I certainly enjoy the view from my desk a whole lot more now!

Posted in Writing | 8 Comments

Wellness Wednesday #20: Surgery

Posted on January 13, 2016 by Thistle

Once upon a time, I had rockin’ abs. That’s what swimming competitively with cross-training for five years will do for you, heh. Then I got married, got pregnant, got stretchmarks, got loose skin, and got really, really messed up abs. And all the body-image issues that came with them.

True Confessions
I detest those articles that talk about “embracing” your stretchmarks from pregnancy, accepting them as the cost or “tiger stripes” from having a kid. I hate them because the pictures shown always include women with beautiful stomachs etched with a few cute little stretchmarks from place to place. They don’t show the ugly kinds of scaring. My kind of scaring. During my first pregnancy, I didn’t have a mark on me until around eight months, when suddenly every single centimeter of my abdomen was covered with little wiggles. Post-birth, I was left with jello for skin over a section of my body the size of a serving platter. With my second child, I developed eight sun-stripe scars upwards out of the mass of wiggle, some of them thicker than a centimeter. With my third, my lower pelvis scarred so badly that there was no unscarred skin, and it looked like I had been burned all the way across my lower belly. Additionally, my 10-lb-baby caused my abdominal muscles to separate and my skin to flop over and sag onto my legs.

I’m not going to show pictures here. This is too public a location. What I will say is that two years ago today, I underwent extensive abdominal surgery. This involved putting my stomach muscles back together – they’d been separated five whole inches – and the removal of 2.5-lbs of skin. I didn’t lose a lot of weight from the surgery, but it completely changed the shape of my body:

before & after

before & after

before and after

In It Was Me All Along, Andie Mitchell says:

Somehow, though, despite the visible scars, I felt more comfortable, more accepting of my body. There, in the mirror, was all that I’d worked for. I did it, I thought. Blemishes and all, it was earned, and it was mine. Removing the skin brought me closure. And I respected what remained.

This is how I felt when I was through all the pain and recovery from surgery. I weighed roughly the same, but I was wearing pants two sizes smaller. I could zip my wedding dress up for the first time in well over a decade. My skin was too scarred to see any abdominal definition, but I no longer cared. I loved those scars, and even the bit of loose, wiggly skin that remained. I went out and bought a bikini. I felt empowered and wonderful!

And I admit, one of the biggest reasons I’ve not felt nearly as bad about my body after regain is because of that surgery. I’m bigger than I have been in five years, but I still have my body shape, and there isn’t one huge part of me that I’m self-conscious about. I’m not confident every day or anything, but I have days when I am, and that’s a huge difference from before, when even at a healthy weight, I hid as much as I could because of my stomach.

So today, I celebrate. I may not be nearly as thin or healthy as I was right before or after that surgery, but I still love my stomach, and love what this surgery did for my body and my self-esteem. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

PS – I highly recommend Birthmarkings, a documentary about the post-birth body. This started my body-positivity journey several years ago. The last woman interviewed (around 16:48) was so close to how I looked post birth, and there are so very many different kinds of bodies and scarring represented throughout. It’s not a cute-tiger-stripes kind of deal. It’s amazing!

Posted in Wellness | Tagged body image, Wellness Wednesday | 7 Comments

Callback: The Way of Kings (audio)

Posted on January 11, 2016 by Thistle

Note: Because this is a re-review, there will be book spoilers. My original review of The Way of Kings is spoiler-free.

I admit it: I didn’t want to reread this book. It’s long. Over 1000 pages. And back in 2012, when I read it the first time, I struggled with a good chunk of it. (The first 400 pages, my original review tells me.) I love Sanderson, and I enjoyed this book, but it wasn’t nearly the adored-reading-experience I had with some of his other novels. Unfortunately, I put off reading Words of Radiance (book 2) long enough – too intimidated – that when I tried to read it, I had no idea what was going on, and didn’t recognize the characters. A reread was in order.

My memories of The Way of Kings were vague. I remembered Kaladin and a tiny bit about how he was made a slave, and I remember a few little things about his bridge crew. I remembered a storyline about a scholar and her ward, and the assassination attempt on the scholar’s life by a fake priest, though I remembered no names or details. I remembered Szeth’s name and generally how he was used in the book. I remembered Hoid telling a long story at night. I didn’t remember the Parshendi, or why there was war, or that spren existed at all, or most character names. My impressions were vague: some twists and betrayals, a few memorable scene snapshots, and my annoyance that a huge chunk at the end left out the scholar-plotline (my favorite).

I chose the audio format for my revisit, despite the 46-hour length. In a way, I think I was ready for a big long intricate chunky reread. The book was much easier to get into this time around – probably because I recognized a lot of the world and story as the reread went on – and I enjoyed the cinematic quality of the book-read-aloud. I often find that books stick better in the long run if I listen to them, and I think that may be the case here, too. While I still didn’t love it as much as Mistborn, I certainly loved it far more this time around. And I was eager to dive right into the 49-hour audio sequel.

A few thoughts:

Spren are fascinating and I can’t wait to understand them better.
I was still annoyed at the long absence of Shallan and Jasnah in the latter quarter of the book.
The symbol-headed creatures scared the crap out of me. Creepy. I can’t believe I didn’t remember them at all!
The revisiting gave me a wider perspective on the events here, so that I understood much more of the motives and timelines and historical stuff.
I get really tired of battle/fighting scenes. Yes, this is a book about a culture at war. Yes, the fighting is an important part of many of the main characters’ lives. Yes, Sanderson writes these sections well. BUT. I just get bored when the fighting goes on and on and on. This was particularly noteworthy during the long absence of Shallan and Jasnah.
I’m still totally in love with Sanderson’s attention to group friendship dynamics. He is the very best at writing those!

As for the audio performance, read by Michael Kramer and Kate Reading: I enjoyed it more than expected. Reading is one of my audio favorites, but Kramer isn’t. I liked the way he read this one, though, and I think I’ll continue to listen to this series when I can. Though I’ll still buy the books, because illustrations.

Posted in 2016, 2017, 2020, Adult, Prose | Tagged audio, callback, Cosmere, divinity, reread | 4 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Callbacks

Posted on January 10, 2016 by Thistle

It’s no secret that I adore rereads. Sometimes, though, my long years of blogging have led me to skipping rereads, especially of books I’ve previously reviewed. In my early blog-days, I used to put up second reviews – Crossed Wires and We being good examples – but I quit doing this over the last few years. I plan to correct that mistake and do more of these re-reviews in the near-future.

I’ve gotten an itch to read many of the books from my early years of blogging. Love Walked In. Airman. Warbreaker. Lady Audley’s Secret. Etc. I’ve let the already-reviewed status keep me from these rereads. No more.

Callback reviews will reexamine, with different eyes, books I’ve already featured here on the blog. I can’t say how often they’ll appear, and perhaps they’ll appear in waves as the mood strikes. The first of them will show up tomorrow, as I just finished re-listening to a book first read/reviewed in 2012.

I admit: this whole project excites me. As I said above, I adore rereads, and I’m happy to finally give myself permission to re-review as well!

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged Sunday Coffee | 11 Comments

My True Love Gave to Me, by Multiple Authors

Posted on January 8, 2016 by Thistle

My True Love Gave to Me is a collection of twelve holiday short stories by different YA authors, including several of my favorites. Five of the authors were ones I’d read before, the rest new-to-me. This was my experience:

This book came out in 2014, but I only heard of it this year through Laini Taylor on Twitter. Discovering Rainbow Rowell was also on the docket just cemented my decision to dive into these stories!
I began reading the stories on Christmas, one story per day for each of the twelve days of Christmas. This helped each story to feel fresh, and for me to not get burned out as I often do reading story collections.
As expected for me and story collections, I found the book to be a bit uneven. I’d say that over all, I enjoyed about half the book (pretty high for me and collections).
While I was indifferent to several stories, there was only one I downright hated. No, I won’t say which one. I will say it came from an unknown-to-me author.
The title calls these “holiday stories,” and indeed they are, however they could more accurately be called “holiday love stories.” Every single one had a love story of sorts, and I felt like some stories would have been better and more powerful without the love parts.
Some stories felt like short stories. Some felt like condensed novels. Some felt like stories that could be developed into novels.
Two stories felt derivative of two very popular holiday movies.
One story felt like a rehash of that author’s previous works, complete with exact-same-scenes and character-names, though not the same characters/stories from those previous works.
Two stories started out kinda meh for me, but eventually grew on me until I loved them. Awesome!
The first story (by Rainbow Rowell) was the perfect opener, a sweet little story.
The last story (by Laini Taylor) was the perfect ender, a fantastic fairy tale.
My favorite, however, came from an unknown-to-me author, who also happened to be the editor of the book – Stephanie Perkins. Her story, “It’s a Yuletide Miracle, Charlie Brown,” turned me into a grinning, book-hugging fool, and I think perhaps it’s time I check out some of her other works. Hopefully her novels turn out to be as good as her short story here!

And there you have it: twelve observations, twelve stories, and a big long twelve-days-of-Christmas finish.

Posted in 2016, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged collection, comfort | Leave a comment

Wellness Wednesday #19: Yoga

Posted on January 6, 2016 by Thistle

Let me start my first Wellness Wednesday of 2016 with a little bit of facetiousness. I GAINED a lot in 2015, including a lovely 50 lbs and 30 inches. Boo. But I’m tired of focusing on negative gains, and I’m tired of whining about how awful 2015 was. Let it go, let it go. *cue Elsa*

You shall all sing!

It’s time to acknowledge the positive gains, and let those bring me into a good foundation for 2016. Those would be:

a mental health diagnosis that put 25 years of illness and struggle into perspective, and started me on a path toward healing
an understanding and appreciation for particular psychological and psycho-social needs, such as attachment theory, touch therapy, roots of addiction, and the affects of breath and meditation on the body and anxiety issues
the ability to draw my friends in close without putting up self-protective barriers
an amazing social support network that literally saved my life
a promise and commitment previously withheld and denied and broken
a lovely new home in the heart of where I belong
an inkling of where I want to move my future career path
an emerging and evolving ability to love my body regardless of weight and size
understanding
hope

Lastly, I made the great discovery of yoga this past year, and it’s on this discovery, this gain, that I’m beginning the new year.

True Confessions
I didn’t hate Eat Pray Love the way so many others did. I didn’t love it to pieces, but I enjoyed the book, and the section that takes place in India has particularly stuck with me. I don’t have any particular faith or religion, nor am I an atheist. I could best be described as an agnostic human secularist. However, I am very interested in the foundations of various religions, particularly those outside my upbringing (ie NOT christian). I grew up without any exposure to yoga, especially as a religious practice. Let me state for the record that I still know very little about it in this context, and don’t believe Eat Pray Love taught me anything about it. What it did do was pique my interest in using yoga as a way to connect with my body and internal emotional state. Bessel van der Kolk increased that interest in an article about yoga and PTSD, prompting me to read The Body Keeps the Score last year.

My approach to yoga in 2015 was cautious, hesitant, and unsure. I was afraid to take a class because I knew nothing about the practice, and so I ordered videos from the library and tried them out. I asked for suggestions from friends, and checked out online video-classes. Some were awful, some were wonderful, and some were obviously not for me. In using the wonderful ones, I discovered just how much yoga helped me physically, mentally, and emotionally. It became especially important to me as a grounding exercise for when my anxiety and PTSD symptoms grew so bad that I began dissociating (ie being suddenly unable to feel random body parts, or feeling like I was separate from my body altogether).

I had to give up yoga this past August when I sprained my ankle. It’s been more than four months now, and while my foot is nowhere near fully healed – it was a full foot-sprain, I’ve since been told, and will take a year to heal, sigh – I can finally do things like sit cross-legged and stand on the foot if I hold onto a wall for balance. So I have to modify my yoga, and skip anything that involves moving my foot into particular positions, but that’s okay. I’m okay. There’s been a hole ripped into me for much of the last few years, and I’m learning to fill it up with something other than food, alcohol, and tears. Learning to breath, to balance, to center myself, to meditate. To heal from the inside out.

Posted in Wellness | Tagged health, psychology, Wellness Wednesday | 4 Comments

Top Ten 2016 Bookish Resolutions

Posted on January 5, 2016 by Thistle

As I said in my last Wellness Wednesday post, I don’t feel great about making solid goals or plans for this year. It’s really time for me to take the pressure off. Having said that, I do have some resolutions in the book and blog realms of my life. I’m not sure if these will happen, and if they don’t, that’s okay. But this is how I’d like my 2016 to go.

1. I have 28 books on my priorities list in 2016. These include books on my physical or virtual TBR, highly anticipated 2016 releases, and the books currently on my “to investigate” list (GoodReads). By the end of 2016, I’d like these books to be either read or culled from my list. (Or, in the case of delayed publishing dates, moved to a 2017 list.)

2. Beyond these book priorities, I’d like my reading year to be veeeeery laid back. As in, I’d be totally happy reading only those priority books next year. I imagine I’ll read twice that, at least, but if I don’t, hey, that’s okay.

3. I also want to be picky about books added to my to-investigate pile. Test books right away and cull often.

4. I’d like to spend some of that laid back time revisiting books. There are some old favorites I haven’t touched in years, and some books from early in my blog years that I’d love to re-experience, books I’d like to try on audio, etc. If half my 2016 books come from rereads, I’d be totally happy.

5. I want to reinforce good habits that I’ve started to get away from: if a book isn’t catching me, don’t read it. If a book is “just okay,” don’t bother finishing it. It’s better to read a lot fewer books and have the abandoned ones pile up, than to have dozens of books at the end of the year that I can’t even remember.

6. I doubt this’ll happen, but it would be awesome if 50% of my reading came from audiobooks in 2016. Of course, there’s a limitation – the library system only has so many audiobooks, and I’m super picky about narrators – so it probably won’t happen. Still, I’d like to have a significant listening portion to the year. With lots of walking to go along with it.

7. I’d like to be much more laid back on the blog. With all the chaos this year, I let myself stress-blog too often. Stress-blogging basically means drafting and drafting and drafting, sometimes months in advance, and having very detailed structures of what, when, and how to post. And while stress-blogging makes me feel better in the moment, it eventually burns me out, and I don’t want that to happen again!

8. Along similar lines, I’d like to seriously reduce my blogging frequency in general. I tend to go overboard in one area of my life or another, and blogging is an easy one to get carried away with. I really need to address the sources of my stress/anxiety and my need to post-post-post-write-write-write, and not just indulge them.

9. I’d like to give myself the freedom to sway. If a bookish event comes around and I want to read a whole bunch all at once, or post every day for two weeks, or whatever, that’s okay. If I get involved in a writing project, or go on vacation, or have family things to deal with, it’s okay if I don’t post on the blog for a few weeks. It’s also okay if I’ve planned for these things and I schedule posts during this time. Basically, I give myself the freedom to read and blog however I want, while not giving myself the freedom to use blogging as an excuse to avoid other parts of my life (an all too frequent habit).

10. Lastly, as a fun goal/resolution, I plan to go to Half Price Books once per quarter and attempt to restock my home library, since I seriously over-drained it this past fall. Woohoo!

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk, Personal | Tagged goals, lists | 11 Comments