The biggest issue with your spouse working for a company in another state is the potential time spent in that other state. For the second time this year, Jason just got home from a week in Nashville. From Easter until late on April Fool’s, I was a single parent again. The last time he was gone, I was adjusting to a new medication, and somehow all three of my kids managed to come down with the stomach flu. Seriously. This time, we had a far easier time of things, but between these weeks with Jason away, I’ve learned some things about single momhood.
1. I’m really not going to cook all that much.
I hate cooking. I always have. It’s not that I can’t cook, because I can, and I’m actually pretty good at it. I just hate doing it. The only time it’s even semi-pleasant is when I’m making something I really love and have an audiobook that I’m so into that I’m looking for excuses to keep listening to it. Most of the time, though, I’d rather everyone make sandwiches, or order pizza, or pull out frozen emergencies meals.
2. Bonus: When you don’t cook much, the kitchen stays mostly clean.
The boys enjoyed having fewer kitchen-related chores. On the downside, it’s harder to run the dishwasher often enough when there’s mostly cereal bowls and spoons to wash. Hmm, what else can we fit in here…?
3. Juggling the schedule is tough with one driver.
In the mornings, the two younger boys had to let themselves out of the house via garage, because I was dropping Morrigan off at the time. In the afternoons, Morrigan had to find a ride home because I was waiting for the bus to drop off the younger boys. On days with after school activities, I found myself leaving the house and coming home sometimes three times in a row. Also: it’s important to make sure no appointments are scheduled in single momhood week, because it’s simply not going to happen. (How do you full-time single moms handle it??)
4. Waking up at 6:15 sucks.
Does that sound whiny? Oh well. I’m the sort of person who cannot live on fewer than eight hours of sleep, and it’s better if I get more. After three babies, the biggest lesson I learned is that I cannot get up over and over in the night. I will be completely sick and wasted after two days. Thank goodness Jason can get up at night without really waking up, or we might never have made it past those infancy stages. Jason is an early bird, and gets up around 6ish even when he doesn’t have to. I, on the other hand, prefer to sleep in just a bit longer, maybe to 6:45 or 7:00. Don’t have that choice on single-mom weeks. And then coffee becomes my best friend.
5. It’s a terrible idea to change up medicines right before your spouse leaves town.
Things worked out well in January, but not so much this time. One of my medicine tweaks, started just before Jason left, caused me to get really sick. At one point, I was literally asking my kids if they knew what to do if I fainted, which was a legitimate concern. By Monday afternoon, I had to untweak that medicine back to what it had been, regardless of whether or not the side effects would eventually minimize. Too risky when there isn’t another adult in the house for emergencies!
6. Technology is awesome.
I wholeheartedly love facetime.
7. There is nothing better than the moment your spouse gets home.
Even better if he finagles his way onto earlier flights and arrives at 9:15 instead of midnight. Woohoo!
The End.
A couple months back, I celebrated the two year anniversary of the abdominal surgery that helped me to feel comfortable in my body again. Not long after that surgery, I bought and wore the first bikini that I’d had since 1999 (before I got pregnant for the first time), pictured at that link. Over the last two years, I’ve had tons of problems with my health, including massive weight gain thanks to many different factors. My confidence has been hit with many hard blows, both physically and psychologically. I’m trying very hard, though, not to let shame and fear rule my life, and with that in mind, I decided to rebel again society’s norms.
The Zen Leaf 