One of the hardest things in my current wellness journey is conflict of differing goals. Prioritizing them is difficult, but generally, this is where I’m at.

1. First and foremost, I want to be able to sleep well. Insomnia is a huge problem, and several things will help to minimize it: controlling my insulin (so a crash in the night won’t wake me), healing my ankle (so that pain on movement doesn’t wake me), and caring for my mental health (because anxiety is anathema to sleep!).

2. My second goal is related to this: to improve my health numbers and get PCOS and insulin-resistance under control. For this, I need to eat better and exercise regularly, but (ironically) I also need good sleep!!

3. I also want to improve my overall physical strength, both muscular and cardiovascular. I’d like to return to a regular training program (without a stupid injury messing me up!).

4. Which leads to: I want to regain self-discipline, both food-wise and in exercise. I don’t want to go overboard, though, making either food or fitness the focal point of my days. That’s a difficult balance to achieve, but an essential one!

5. Additionally, I want to make some major improvements in my mental health, especially with regards to PTSD triggers, self-sabotage, body image and shame issues, anxiety, depression, and the simultaneous fear of failing and succeeding.

6. And while this should be the last of my goals, I admit it’s the easiest goal to see and quantify. I want to lose weight and look more like myself again and feel comfortable in my body. I want to fit back into my nice clothes, and to be able to shop in whatever stores I want, and generally feel good about my body and how I look again.

Really, if I’m working on all these goals, they all should come together. They’re all inter-related. Eating better and exercising regularly will lead to all the results I want, and working with doctors and therapists on mental health and injury repair will assist me along the way. It seems to simple and straightforward when I write it down. I wish it was that simple in practice!