August in Review

Posted on September 3, 2018 by Thistle

August was a hard month for me. I was just so sick of the lingering inability to get anything done. This is the third summer in a row when my house has been torn apart and under construction. Summer is always a hard season for me anyway, so having this triple-whammy the last few years has made it so much worse. The best I can say for the month is that the construction is over, the boys are back in school, I anticipate some cool fronts soon, and I have less than two weeks until my vacation. Thank goodness.

Goals
After finishing my kimono, some cross-body purses, and a hat that was a total fail, I’ve zeroed out my yarn and that goal is DONE. I’ve also gotten four professional massages now, which was the minimum on my goal list. Most of the rest of my goals involve fitness, nutrition, and weight loss, which were put on the back burner again this month due to construction, band camp, heat, and unpredictable schedules.

Health
It was decidedly another bad month in health, as one might expect from the things I mentioned above. Plus, my insomnia came back with a vengeance this month, ugh. I did the best I could considering the circumstances, but there was still a lot of eating out due to not having a kitchen, and very little exercise due to never knowing when I would have time (our contractor’s schedule was variable and unpredictable). I managed to exercise on 16 days, though half of those were not intentional (like hauling furniture or books around to get to different parts of the room). Yoga was pitiful – I did one workout on the 1st and didn’t do more yoga again until the 25th, and I only got in 5 sessions the entire month. Oy. Altogether, I exercised for only 12 hours, and only managed to walk/jog 22 miles. However, the lack of exercise and poor nutrition seems to have been balanced by how often I had “active rest days,” plus not having any alcohol this month. My weight is down about two pounds from the 1st to 31st, but it’s all within an easy maintenance fluctuation range.

Books
I stopped binging on fluff books this month and concentrated only on those that I really wanted to read. Total books read: 3. Total books loved: 3. Favorite of the month: This was extremely hard to choose because I loved all three books I read this month, but eventually I settled on Strange Practice. Marginally.

In Construction
After months and months of not having a house, construction finally finished (by Jason and me, sigh) on Aug 29th. My prediction was Aug 25th at the earliest, so it looks like I was spot on!

Highlights of August
Given what I said in my first paragraph above, highlights are a bit thin on the ground this month. Biggest moment, of course, was finishing the house and adding back books, decor, furniture arrangement, etc. Here are a few other high moments:

  • celebrating my grandparents’ 65th wedding anniversary and my grandpa’s 90th birthday
  • buying the first Halloween decoration of the year
  • writing the opening scene of a new novel
  • The boys are finally back to school! Yay!
  • getting several kitty-ducks to match my real kitties from one of my LuLaRoe retailer friends
  • getting the best massage I’ve had in two years
  • Ambrose finishing all his drive hours and driving test for driver’s ed (license test is scheduled for September)

Coming up in September
My plans for the month included rest, RIP reads, scheduled life, exercise, healthy meals, and an upcoming vacation (my first with just Jason in 4.5 years). However, on the 1st, we started having some major plumbing issues, and on the 2nd, our entire house flooded. We’re currently staying in a hotel until plumbers can rip our our xeriscaped front yard and repair a bend in the sewer line. That bend was causing calcium deposits to build up, which caused the blockage that flooded our house. The clogs are out, but the line must be fixed, and we have no working sewer line currently in our home.

At first, the prognosis was weeks in a hotel, canceling vacation, and spending nearly $10k on the damage (which includes having to replace our brand new living/dining room floor). However, our plumbers called in to have us put as a priority emergency repair, including getting an emergency permit from the city to have us use a backhoe to dig seven feet down into our yard. If all goes well, we should be able to move back home on Thursday, and the hole in the yard should be filled back in (after city inspectors verify the work) before we go on vacation. We may not have more than a concrete floor in our living/dining rooms, but that’s livable. It does mean that we may have more work to do as soon as we get back home from our cruise, but unless more bad news comes in (yesterday was a roller coaster of changing stories as the plumbers worked), we should at very minimum have a house to live in soon and a vacation to go on.

In other good news, Jason and I did pay for an insurance rider that covers backflow plumbing damage. We won’t know until tomorrow if that includes only the outside work, only the inside work, or both, but either way, something should be covered. And the plumbers are only charging ~$5000 for the work. The same guy has been working with us all weekend, coming out four times since Saturday, trying to schedule a backhoe operator on Labor Day, etc. These people are doing an amazing and honest job, and they will get the biggest glowing reviews I can possibly give them, and we’ll definitely call them for plumbing and a/c issues in the future. (Local peeps: Will’s All Pro Plumbing and Air Conditioning) You can never know too many excellent local folks who will give you fair, honest answers, prices, and work.

Anyway, I don’t mean for this to go on forever. Life is going to be crazy busy over the next little while. I’m going to disappear from the blogosphere until I’m home, or perhaps until October. Some book reviews might still go up (there’s one pending already from my last book of August) but otherwise, look for me in a month or so. And thank you to all the folks who have been following our saga on Instagram and Facebook, and lending support. Love you all!

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Sunday Coffee – The house is done!!!

Posted on September 2, 2018 by Thistle

As I mentioned last Sunday, the downstairs portion of the house finished about a week ago. The bathrooms gave us a lot of trouble (more below), but now, hallelujah, the house is DONE!!!**

Kitchen:

Ignore the open space by the window. We plan to build bench seating and a coffee bar in that area, but we’re going to wait until finances recover before doing that! (Temporary coffee bar setup below! This is the part that didn’t cost any money, haha!) The last photo in the above collage is a detail of the maple/black walnut butcher block countertops, which we really love!

Living/dining rooms:

That navy accent wall is my probably favorite part of everything we did during this project. (It looks darker in the picture than it is.) And I can’t tell you how good it feels to have decor up and books shelved for the first time in months! You better believe that all went up the very first day possible. Continue reading →

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RIP XIII

Posted on August 31, 2018 by Thistle

As always at this time of year, I’m so excited for the Readers Imbibing Peril challenge to start! Of course, as per usual, I’ve already finished my first RIP read, before the challenge even begins – Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett (so good!). This seems to be a tradition for me, as I get impatient for RIP books before that Sept 1st start line, haha! I’ve also been compiling a RIP-read list for the last month. My potential books this month include:

  • Dreadful Company – Vivian Shaw**
  • Lethal White – Robert Galbraith**
  • The Witch Elm – Tana French
  • The Phantom Tree – Nicola Cornick
  • Maisie Dobbs – Jacqueline Winspear
  • The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein – Kiersten White
  • Broken Things – Lauren Oliver
  • The Night Circus – Erin Morgenstern (reread)
  • (possibility) A Study in Scarlet Women – Sherry Thomas
  • (possibility) The Muse of Nightmares – Laini Taylor**

Starred books are definite reads, possibilities are books that I’m not yet sure qualify as RIP reads. I’m sure I’ll find plenty more than these as the next two months pass by!

As for the details, you can find them at the above link. I’m participating at the “Peril the First” level, as usual – at least four books (sure to be more) in the broad RIP categories (also listed at the above link).

Are any of y’all reading? What books would you recommend? Let’s get this thing started!

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Wellness Wednesday – Habits

Posted on August 29, 2018 by Thistle

I don’t believe in that old adage that says it takes four weeks to form a habit. It takes much, much longer than four weeks to make a permanent habit. Years. Over my long weight loss journey, especially from 2011 to 2014, I developed many really good habits. Eating fruits and vegetables every day, exercising 5-6 times a week, using movement instead of food to combat stress, etc. I remember the moment I knew something had really become a habit instead of something I made myself do. During the 2012 election, I was so nervous about the outcome, and instead of thinking about food, I kept jogging around my living room as the results came in because I simply couldn’t sit still. Just four years before in the previous election, I never would have done that.

Unfortunately, in moving to Boston in 2014, most of my habits died off. I was in a new area that was unfamiliar in environment, culture, and weather. I stopped exercising for long enough that the habit died. I ate well for awhile, but started beating myself up and actively eating unhealthy to punish myself. (Yes, I went to a therapist.) I developed new habits – binge eating, drinking too much, self-punishment. And while I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I have done away with most of that (the binge eating comes back periodically), I’ve never had the opportunity to regrow those good habits of the time. Too many moves, too many new environments, too many painful stressors and PTSD triggers. But I want to form these good habits again.

I want to eat well, including many fruits and vegetables, and I want to include them in meals without even thinking about it or forcing myself.

I want to choose not to binge when the urge comes.

I want to exercise most days of the week, including walking and running and yoga and dancing and all other sorts of things.

I want to get back to averaging 10K+ steps every day.

I want to start writing again, every day, even if it’s only a tiny number of words. Just to sit down and put ideas to page every day would be good.

I want to spend far less time on social media and the computer/phone in general.

I want to stop filling my time with meaningless things and work toward the things I want to be/have in my life.

I want to be confident in myself again and trust my body and this whole process.

None of that will come overnight. None of that will come in four weeks. I hope that I can look back on this post in a year (or two or three) and smile, because I will have accomplished all these things and they come to me second nature. One day, they’ll be true habits like those I’ve formed since childhood – buckling my seatbelt in the car or brushing my teeth or writing in my daily journal. One day. And the slow building of these habits starts now.

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Bright We Burn, by Kiersten White

Posted on August 27, 2018 by Thistle

As this is the third book in a series, I won’t say too much about the story. This is the continuation of a story based on a fiction version of the man later known as Vlad the Impaler, or alternatively, Dracula. In this series, Vlad is Lada, female and fighting for recognition and power despite her gender. Mehmed (Sultan of the Ottoman Empire) was once a childhood friend, but is now at odds with Lada, and Radu (Lada’s brother and Mehmed’s friend) is trapped between the two warring countries, religions, and politics.

How did this one compare to the last two? Brilliantly. White pulled off several small twists that I should definitely have expected but which took me completely by surprise. I got all warm and tingly at the various reunion and love scenes, and was disgusted by the various torture and gore scenes. I both detested and rooted for Lada, and enjoyed watching Radu come into his own. (Mehmed has no point-of-view sections in this book, and so remained more of an outsider who influences these two narrators.) I adored the whole discussion of family and loyalty, and admired the way White put all the horrific real-life events of Vlad the Impaler into a personal context (making them simultaneously more relatable and more monstrous).

Any more than that would give away spoilers, and I don’t want to do that. This is a great series that I highly recommend, and that’s high praise for me considering that 99% of the time I dislike fiction based on historical figures!

Posted in 2018, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Back to School!

Posted on August 26, 2018 by Thistle

This photo doesn’t begin to show just how happy I am for school to start again and my routine to go back to normal!!!!!!!!

(Also, never mind my obvious fatigue. Insomnia sucks.)

I wish I could say that I’m also excited about the house being done. I am excited that the downstairs is done and put together again, woohoo! More on that later this week. However, the master bathroom floor has given us so much trouble. It’s had to come up and get relaid four times now (ETA: now five times…), and each time, it takes 24+ hours to dry before we can grout, and we can’t do trim and painting until after the floor is done. So frustrating!

But since school starts tomorrow, top priority is no longer construction. Top priority is getting my life and health back together. No construction will begin before 10:30 each morning this week, because that’s when I’ll be exercising and showering. Construction has to end by 5pm, so we can make a healthy dinner instead of going out. Etc.

And once construction is done – which I really hope will be by Wednesday – then I’m going to bask in the silence of an entire day to myself. It has been too long. I literally had ONE day off this entire summer. One eight hour day off. I definitely need a break. And after that, I plan to find some days in the next week or two to watch a few movies I’ve been highly anticipating all summer (Crazy Rich Asians, The Little Stranger), and meet up with friends I haven’t seen in months, and go enjoy an Indian lunch buffet at one of my favorite San Antonio restaurants. It’s going to be bliss!

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Outfits I Can’t Wait to Wear

Posted on August 24, 2018 by Thistle

While a big chunk of the country is already turning toward fall, we stay smack in the 100s here in south Texas. Around this time of year, my longing for cooler weather becomes acute. I want to drink coffee on the porch in crisp autumn air, and open my windows at night, and put out Halloween/fall decorations, and read creepy books…and I want to wear all the lovely longer-sleeved outfits that disappear from my wardrobe around March or so. Here’s a small sampling of future autumn outfits:

(Randy and Lynnae shirts)

(Georgia and Nicole dresses)

(Lindsay, Shirley, and Sarah covers)

Come on autumn!!!

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Wellness Wednesday – Throwback List

Posted on August 22, 2018 by Thistle

Back in June 2012, I was near the end of my weight loss journey, but stalled due to a stress fracture in my leg. For twelve weeks, I wasn’t allowed to exercise, and I basically maintained a steady weight in that time. I still had another 20 lbs to go, and was so frustrated with the stall. But I was also at a really good size for my body, and I lot of my online support group was telling me that I should be satisfied with where I was at instead of wishing I could just get on with things. I can see their point, but at the same time, I was not where I wanted to be. So at the time, both to remind myself and as a rebuttal, I wrote the following “I’ll know I’m done…” list. Looking back on it now cracks me up. The following is that list, with my commentary six years later.

***
I’ll know I’m done…

…when I no longer feel the compulsion to step on the scale daily and see the numbers decrease.
***I doubt this will ever go away no matter what. (The stepping on the scale bit anyway.)

…when I can see my collarbones completely and distinctly.
***This would be awesome again. I did get there before.

…when I regain my normal body shape, somewhere between hourglass and upper triangle.
***This never would’ve happened without abdominal surgery, and even after regaining post-surgery, my body shape has stayed true to me.

…when I shop for clothes I love and that fit my style, rather than for clothes that make me look thinner or fit a certain number.
***Lularoe has made this happen for me regardless of my size – this can no longer be a “final” goal, ha!

…when I feel attractive or sexy again, and don’t mind dressing up.
***Ditto the last entry.

…when I stop measuring my food.
***Turns out that I go on and off measuring my food regardless of size.

…when I look thin (ie “normal”) in pictures even in funny positions/angles or in awkward-fitting clothes.
***Again, this was more about surgery than size, but it would be nice to be there again. It just won’t be as difficult this time.

…when I look in the mirror and feel satisfied with what I see.
***Ironically, this is 75% of the time now despite regain. All down to surgery.

…when I can go to the doctor without worrying about stepping on their scale.
***I can do this now, but it has more to do with finding a decent doctor who isn’t going to berate me about my size.

…when I fit into my wedding dress again.
***Ditto surgery. Turns out it was all just that extra skin on my belly.

…when I look at pictures of me next to people of all sizes, big or small, and feel okay with my size in relation to them.
***I miss this one. I did get there at one point though.

…when I no longer think about food constantly – planning out meals, ideas, snacks, and times, etc.
***Again, I don’t think this will ever go away.

…when I feel confident in public without constantly verifying the lay of my clothes, my posture, etc.
***I’m already confident and never worry about my clothes anymore. Ditto surgery and Lularoe.

…when I’m comfortable taking a single picture, rather than multiple shots, and don’t worry how it’ll turn out.
***Broken record time: surgery. It’s not as good as it once was, but I’m pretty happy with (most) photos these days.

…when I look at those pictures afterwards and am satisfied (not asking to be happy constantly, just satisfied).
***Same.

…when I stop comparing my current self with old pictures.
***Ha! Now I compare myself to a different set of old pictures.

…when I can honestly say I’m a success story.
***I’d like to get there one day.

…when I feel and look fit and healthy, rather than super-thin.
***This photo from 2014 embodies this 100%. I do want to get back there.

…when I no longer care if I lose another pound, because I’m happy just the way I am.
***I do hope that I’ll get there one day.

*****
So as it turns out, most of what I had to do to feel like all the things on this list was undergo abdominal surgery and then find a clothing brand that I love. Heh. I’m so far from goal now that I couldn’t even begin to think of a replacement list. Perhaps one day.

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Running Part 1: C25K

Posted on August 20, 2018 by Thistle

For eight years now, I’ve run off and on. It’s been an adventure and a journey of definite ups and downs, and I decided that I wanted to document it over time!

Nearly a decade ago, I heard about the Couch to 5K program from my friend Anne. At the time, I was at my highest-ever weight. My hips, knees, and ankles hurt all the time. Running wasn’t really an option for me. However, the idea stuck with me, and in August 2010 – 20 lbs down from my highest weight – I decided to give C25K a chance. Indoors. Running back and forth in my living room. I was not prepared to take the plunge in public (or in San Antonio August heat!).

For almost five weeks, I did laps around my living room. At the same time, I listened to my first real audiobook, Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy (read by Alan Rickman!). I only listened during those half-hour running sessions. I loved the audiobook, and it made the running bearable. At the time, I was really surprised at how difficult I found the running. My entire adult life, at all sorts of weights, running around the living room while watching TV had been easy. This time, though, I got severe shin splints. Every step was torture. I chalked it up to my weight, which was heavier than I’d ever run before, and when my audiobook finished right before the 20-minute run at the end of Week 5, I quit the program.

The following January, when I began my weight loss journey in earnest, I decided to try the C25K program again. In my living room again, of course. But one thing had changed. We’d rearranged in there since my first attempt, and my “route” changed. Instead of going from front door to back door in laps, I could run a large circle around the couch, armchair, and elliptical. Because I was on carpet the whole time, instead of transitioning from carpet to linoleum and back, I could run barefoot. Turns out, those shin splits had to do with wearing shoes (probably those specific shoes) and not with my weight. This time, I finished the program on schedule, and went on to run 45 mins straight not long after. I knew I wasn’t actually running a whole 5K, but I didn’t think I was doing too bad. Until I signed up for a real 5K.

March 2011, down about 25-30 lbs, I started “jogging” at the start line of this 5K. As it turns out, I’d never learned how to run properly. My movement was more up-and-down (like running in place) than running forward. I could walk faster than I could run. MUCH faster. And running-in-place-but-kinda-forward was much more difficult outside my living room, even on level ground. That 5K exhausted me, and still took me 54 minutes to finish (about a 17:30/mi pace). I managed to “jog” three-quarters of it and STILL it took that long. I knew then that I had to learn how to run properly.

C25K, round 2 – outside. I went to my local trails, put on my music, and did the only thing I could – I sprinted the run sections. Only by sprinting could I move forward instead of up-and-down. Of course, sprinting all those sections was beyond exhausting, but it taught me to run as well as my messed-up-feet will ever let me run. I never finished this particular round of C25K. A couple weeks in, I almost had a heat stroke because I was still wearing sweatpants as I ran (same ones pictured above), when it was 80-something degrees out. I was just too self-conscious to wear shorts. This particular incident led to a personal challenge to overcome self-consciousness, but that’s a story for a different post.

Instead of continuing the C25K track, I opted to walk my normal hill-heavy trails with running sections whenever I could manage. Mostly on downhill sections. Ha! And I got to the point where I could run maybe 1 mile at a slow pace (slower than 15:00/mi). The first time I ever managed to run an entire 5K was on a treadmill right before my first-ever cruise, set to a very slow 4 mph pace. I just wanted to try and see if I could do it, after running smaller sections for about nine months. I was so excited to make it all the way through without walking, even though my speed was still slow. I took this really silly picture of my calves afterwards, because of how solidly I could see the muscles there. When I got home from that cruise, I decided to run a 5K outdoors on my normal trails. I discovered that I loved the outdoor running – even on uphills – far more than on a treadmill. Not surprising!!

And that takes me to the summer of 2012, when a new phase of my running adventure began. To be continued!

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Sunday Coffee – This Week in the Gignacery

Posted on August 19, 2018 by Thistle

Lots going on, thought I’d give snippet updates.

1 – Morrigan developed shin splints at the end of last week in marching band. They were so bad that he couldn’t even walk up the stairs alone. My aunt Mary, who’s a massage therapist, did some major work on him last weekend that helped a lot, and he has a protocol of stretches, foam-rolling, and icing that he needs to follow. He seemed fine the rest of the week, and next week has evening-only practices, so fingers crossed we dodged an injury bullet. PSA: Calf muscles – well really all muscles, but calf is relevant here – should be soft and jiggly when not in use. If they aren’t, they’re too tight and might cause injuries such as shin splints or stress fractures. Massage and foam-rolling help to keep muscles loose!!

2 – I had both a chiropractor appointment and a massage this week, so I feel a bit extra-amazing in my body this week. I had to change to a new massage therapist this month after the one I’ve been using for the last three months just kept doing such an awful job. Last month, I literally left with a migraine, and I think she fell asleep while doing my neck at the end. It was awful. This new therapist was absolutely amazing! I’m also looking forward to getting back in with my aunt, who is very busy and schedules out months in advance.

3 – Ambrose finished all the drive time he needs to get his license, and passed the driver’s ed driving exam. He goes in to get a certificate tomorrow, and then he can go down to DPS, take a few more tests (written and driving), and get his license! He’ll be my first licensed child.

4 – Laurence has been crazy-addicted to learning everything he can about pre-season football and fantasy football drafts. It’s funny, because I knew he would love this kind of thing and tried to get him to pay attention to it four years ago, but only in the last year has he become obsessed.

5 – Jason finished a few lingering house projects that weren’t part of the actual construction damage/claim, but nonetheless needed to be done to finish our house: installed cabinet door/drawer pulls in the kitchen; installed the new coax cable for our TV; repaired the master bathroom shower; replaced/repaired the outdoor pipe from the water main; fixed a new leak in our two-month-old-toilet (ugh!!); squared off one of the new cabinets where the wall wasn’t at perfect angles; fixing a leak in one of the outside sewer pipes after Ambrose knocked into it with a shovel.

5 – It was a rough week in construction. Our contractor thought he would be done by Tuesday evening, then Wednesday evening…etc. But it’s still not done. There have been so many external factors interfering with progress! Not his fault, of course, but still I can’t wait until this is done. Since last week’s update: kitchen floor finished; tile laid in the boys’ bathroom; kitchen ceiling caulked and painted; living/dining room walls painted; boys’ toilet installed; about 75% of the kitchen counters installed. There was a problem with the tile in the master bathroom, and it has to come up and get done all over again from scratch, so that’s another delay. Boo. There’s a hard deadline of the 25th, though, so I should have good news by next Sunday!

6 – All the boys finished school registration stuff this week, got their schedules and pictures etc. One more week to go!

7 – I used up my last skein of yarn. I found a flapper hat pattern that I loved so I downloaded it and used my purple silk/bamboo skein to make it. Only first, there’s a section of the pattern that didn’t work as well as it was meant to, and second, I didn’t quite have enough yarn so I had to leave one line of the brim off. The end result wasn’t great, and pretty much wasted my lovely yarn (boo!), but I do love the pattern and have a better idea of what to do later on to make a better version.

8 – Book club yesterday! We discussed Do Not Become Alarmed, and it was as really fun and lively discussion. There were seven of us there, all with very different opinions, and the book turned out to be a great one for discussion.

I think that’s about the extent of my week. As usual, I’m counting down the days until school begins!

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