Favorite Photos of October 2022

I didn’t include my favorite photos in my monthly wrap up this time because frankly, there were just too many favorites!! I don’t know why some months I can barely choose four or five, and some months I wish I could throw three dozen into the mix! (Well, no, I know why. Sometimes I take 50 photos in a month, and some months – like October – I take hundreds.) In any case, here are October’s favorites, which I managed to whittle down to 18.

Clockwise from top left: monarch butterfly in my garden; Gremlin looking like he wants everyone to get off his damn lawn; coffee with Rillo; queen butterfly in my garden (my fave butterfly!); red admiral butterfly in my garden; a cozy coffee shop. Can you tell it was butterfly season in my garden? I had to leave out multiple other shots that I loved!

Clockwise from top left: “red dance” (practice with motion); gorgeous portrait of Kristina; Alia the goddess of feather and fire; queens of autumn; “in the woods” (creative portraiture with candles); Alia the flame goddess. (All of these, and all of the next batch, are from the Ghourlies photoshoot I did last weekend. The “red dance” photo was a practice/vibe/brainstorm photo for this particular shoot.

Clockwise from top left: Kristina the flower goddess; Alia in grass; Kristina the flame goddess; the Narnia wall; as autumn fades; moon goddesses emerge (a portrait that proves even blurry outtake photos can be turned into something gorgeous!)

Now, were 11 of the 18 favorites of the month taken in a single night? Why yes, yes they were. Are they the best photos ever? Of course not. I’m still a baby photographer, and my skills with camera and editing software are rudimentary. On the other hand, I have the loveliest friends who are helping me to practice and grow into this dream. I smile every time I see the photos, remembering both the joy of that night, and knowing that even if I’m not the best photographer, I improved each and every one of these photos, and both Alia and Kristina love them. Can’t wait to do this again!

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October 2022 in Review

October turned out to be a pretty incredible month. Started on Day 1 with a Muslim Culture Festival in Austin with friends – my first proper ladies’ day out in ages – and ended with an amazing Halloween night where we had the exact perfect amount of candy and also got to feed a community cat. Because even the cats in the neighborhood know that we’re the cat house, ha! In between, I brought kittens back from the brink of death, went on a yarn crawl with a friend, semi-rescued a neighborhood cat, dove into a bujo project to consolidate the 13 notebooks taking up space on my shelf, and had my first real group photoshoot. Part of the busyness and insanity was in compensation for the very real dissonant feelings I have about becoming an empty nester, and part was just October, which tends to be fairly high-energy for me. So there were down moments, but overall, such a lovely month.

Reading and Watching
I didn’t read nearly as much as I wanted this month, just the four books (or four and one novella). My brain was preoccupied with other things, and frankly, I spent WAY too much time watching TV this month. Great British Baking Show (and omg the “Mexican” week was soooooooooo bad), Unsolved Mysteries, Love is Blind (with friends), NCIS, La Brea, The Real Love Boat (oh god it’s awful!), SVU. I remember the days when I literally watched only a single show or two! I really need to pare these down, especially some of the really horrible ones that I don’t even really like, haha! However, I did get to see Hocus Pocus 2 with my friends, and that was awesome!

Goals
We finally got all of our cats’ microchips updated with current addresses, which is something I’ve been meaning to do for ages!

House
Jason has been working on getting our porch/deck finished as a deck, since we probably won’t be enclosing it in the future now. We also fixed some of the holes/tears in the wall and re-textured. I’m at a place where the repairs aren’t ones I can help with, so I’m just trying to take care of other things so there’s less on J’s plate.

The Ferals
So many cats this month. We had Sunday, the not-actually-a-stray-cat who got stuck in our tree. We had the A-Team foster kittens, who survived calici and are now up for adoption. (Well, Gremlin was adopted within an hour of going onto the floor, and Abby was adopted over the weekend. Rillo still needs a home, though!) Our new fosters are Dexter and Dee Dee (see pic below), also recovering from calici, and probably have mild CH too. Then on Halloween, a big orange community cat decided to plonk himself next to us as we gave out candy (pic at right). We gave him some fish to eat, and scanned him for a microchip (nope). He was pretty friendly, and eventually, he brought a friend over to our yard (who was too skittish to get close to, but Jason thinks it might have been King – Shai & Hulud’s dad). The orange boy was so friendly that he kept trying to get us to let him inside the house. Not today, buddy! Ha!

Health/Fitness
Literally the only exercise I did all month was the hike up to the top of the park for my group photoshoot. Mourjaro was kicking my ass this month – or more accurately, my stomach. I’ve been at the lowest therapeutic dose for five weeks now, and the nausea was intense for the first three of those weeks, especially weeks two and three. Sometimes it would last for nearly an entire week. Nausea if I ate too much, nausea if I ate too little, and the beginnings of food aversions to anything with fiber, fat, or protein (leaving me pretty much with simple carbs!). Thankfully, the fourth week only had one day of nausea, and this week was maybe half a day, so I’m feeling much better. On the negative side, it means that a lot of the month, I was living on bread, crackers, and chips, plus yogurt for breakfast (the only time I could eat real food!). I was trying desperately to get in nutrition with pureed veggie soups, but the whole month was a struggle. You can see why exercise on top of that would have been bad! So I listened to my body, I did what I could to mitigate the nausea and food aversions, and I’ve made it to the other side now. Even without exercise and all the junky food, I lost 2.5 lbs in October, and as of today, a total of 11.5 lbs since I began this new med. Hopefully in November, I can add back in some yoga and walking to my routine!

Highlights of October
A great month with a LOT of highlights:

  • Muslim Culture Fest in Austin, ladies’ day out, including henna and art and food and dance and so much fun
  • Hocus Pocus 2 movie party
  • my new perfume that I love so much every day
  • the collective uprise against Paul Hollywood for his absolutely, certifiably wrong “expertise” in Mexican food; and then later for his “s’mores”
  • yarn crawl and discovering new coffee spots with a friend –>
  • having the resources, network, and support to rescue cats as needed when they show up on our doorstep
  • queen butterflies and giant swallowtails and monarchs coming to our mistflowers! Plus, new critters, like the andremona moth, to photograph and identify!
  • playing with creative editing for artistic portraiture
  • the lady at the animal shelter told me that she honestly didn’t expect all three of our calicivirus kittens to make it, and said we did a really good job bringing them back to health
  • the day Stephanie and I showed up wearing the exact same shirt by accident, ha!
  • writing to a GBBO contestant via Insta, not expecting them to even read my message much less reply, but they replied !!!
  • “YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PLANS!” (iykyk)
  • Gremlin getting adopted within an hour of being put on the adoption floor! Abby adopted by the end of that weekend. Now if only we can get Rillo adopted!! He’s the sweetest and goofiest. ETA: He was adopted on Nov 1! Hurrah!
  • the fake B$ (Brandon Sanderson) Spirit Halloween costume –>
  • “Ghourlies” photoshoot, then dinner out with friends
  • giving out full size candy bars for Halloween, and making a teen’s night when we let him have two caramel Ding Dongs, which he said was his favorite, and then some kid (maybe 10 yrs old) put his candy back when he realized the box of sardines on the tray was available, ha! We let him take a candy too.

Coming up in November
This is the time of year when I tend to quiet down. It used to be because I was hard at work for NaNoWriMo, now it’s just a comedown from October’s madness. There’ll be Thanksgiving, of course, but other than that, I have just about nothing planned.

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Happy Halloween!

However you celebrate, or don’t celebrate, I hope today is a good one for you. Sending all the love and pumpkins and brilliantly cool, crisp weather!

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Sunday Coffee – End of another RIP season

Technically, there’s today and another day left to finish up RIP, but it’s unlikely I’ll finish another book by then, so I’m going to wrap this up now. As has become my norm these last few years, I had good plans and then just stopped reading regularly come mid-September. I’ve said in other posts – other things have just been occupying my brain lately. In any case, I read seven books for RIP this year, if you count my two pre-September reads:

  • The Clackity
  • The House Across the Lake
  • Miss Moriarty, I Presume?
  • The Ink Black Heart
  • The Change
  • The Kiss Curse
  • Ghost 19

Several others from my original list of options turned out not to be RIP-ish even though I did read them for RIP. Several still haven’t gotten to me from the library – very long hold lines! And quite a few were culled once I tried them and decided they weren’t for me. Honestly, I wish I’d been able to get to those few library books, plus two more from Book of the Month that I simply haven’t gotten around to. Then again, I kinda read RIP-ish books year-round, don’t I? So I’m not going to save them until next season!

It’s been lovely, even if my list was very short and actually didn’t include either of the books that I’m most likely to reread during this season (Gentlemen & Players, and The Night Circus). I enjoyed most of what I read, and that’s what counts!

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Goodbyes: The A Team

Wednesday morning, it was time to finally say goodbye to Austin (Gremlin), Abilene (Abby), and Amarillo (Rillo/Willow). This batch of fosters had been with us for about 5.5 weeks, and we’d nursed two of them from the brink of death due to calicivirus. All three had grown happy and healthy and friendly and sweet. Abby loved to sit in your lap, while the other two scrambled up to your neck and shoulders so they could be right up as close as possible. (In this pic to the left, you can see the two boys simultaneously fighting for my cuddles and cuddling with each other – this was a daily thing!) All three were very attached to each other, and would tangle about in piles when they slept. They were also extremely attached to Jason. Whenever he got home or would walk into their foster room, all three would go from dead asleep to excited in an instant, running off me with their tails up high so they could go to the door to greet him.

(Anyone who says cats aren’t affectionate has never really known a cat!)

As you might be able to tell from the photos I’ve put up of these babies in the past, our foster room isn’t the brightest room in the house. There is a lot of detail missing in the photos as you zoom in, and I could rarely get photos that showed true color. I really wanted to capture some good photos of these darlings, so on Wednesday morning, I brought my camera into the room instead of just my phone. The good news: My camera has a range of adjustments that can help it to work in lower lights. The bad news: Those adjustments give me a very shallow focal area and only barely long enough a shutter speed to get non-blurry photos. More bad news: The two boys decided that Wednesday morning was Zoomie time!

(Pure personality: Gremlin looks like you need to get off his damn lawn. Rillo can’t be still for a quarter-second. Abby says she’s through with their nonsense and she’ll watch them from a comfy chair.)

In other words, 75% of my photos came out blurry and useless. Rillo, the most chaotic of the three, was definitely the worst at this, and I got zero solo photos of him without some blur to his face. Halfway through our impromptu photo shoot, I brought in a handheld light cube, which helped to bring in more light, but also meant that I was shooting one-handed, which sometimes caused the shots to shake even when I managed to keep the kittens still for a split second. Argh! In the end, though, I managed to get some good photos (or in Rillo’s case, at least one decent photo).

Miss Abby, queen of sleep, will snuggle but only if you let her put herself in your lap herself, is especially in love with Jason and will groom him if he lets her, loves strings and zippers on Jason’s shorts, demands beef baby food at least once a day. Slightly stingy with purrs, but once you’ve got them, she chirps as she purrs to show she’s blissfully happy.

Rillo, the boy who exudes every characteristic you’d expect in an orange kitten with a shared brain cell (iykyk), who has run headfirst into poles and walls because he was too focused on something else to notice them, who has to be picked up when you enter the room and cuddled on his back for belly rubs, and will lick your ears if you don’t stop him. Constant, nonstop, loud, instantaneous purrs.

Gremlin, the tiniest boy, looks like Gizmo and earned his nickname, eyes that slant in a way that makes him look like an angry, cranky old man even as he’s purring and licking your fingers, who must perch up high and so he’s an instant shoulder-kitten, has a silent meow (ulcer damage or just the way it is? we don’t know), the most laid back and tolerant boy you’ll ever meet despite his grouchy face. It was particularly hard to say goodbye to this little guy as he stole my heart from Day One. There were tears, and I am not normally a crier.

But not to worry. What better way to drown your tears than introduce new love into your heart? The shelter had several other calicivirus kittens that desperately needed foster homes, so we took home a duo. Dexter and DeeDee are about 4-5 weeks old, but I’ll leave their introduction for another post. Here’s a teaser photo, though.

Here’s to the next month of meds, socializing, nursing, cuddling, feeding, playing, cleaning, and bringing new babies into our hearts!

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Ghost 19, by Simone St. James (audio)

It’s 1959, and Ginette has been sent to upstate NY by her doctors “for her mental health,” where she becomes trapped in a house haunted by its past.

This is another story that leans heavily on the trope of watching the neighbors and a stylized version of agoraphobia, not to mention the whole “crazy woman put out of sight to avoid publicity” thing. However, St. James takes this from what’s normally thriller territory into ghosts, hauntings, and paranoia, until it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. Both Ginette and the reader will eventually start to blur on what constitutes reality. In that way, this story came to remind me of The Yellow Wallpaper – not to say that they’re similar, but they have the same kind of trapped-room undercurrent and “women’s hysteria” gaslighting. Because this takes place fully in the past, it’s unlike other books I’ve read by St. James, but I still rather enjoyed it.

I’m not sure if Ghost 19 counts as a short story or novella, but the audiobook (read by Brittany Pressley) was just shy of three hours. Since that’s actually not my shortest audio in 2022, I decided to count it as one of my reads. (I don’t normally count individual short stories.) It was quick, well-read, well-paced, and captivating. Great for Halloween time!

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Sunday Coffee – An Unacceptable Book

One of the books that I planned to read for RIP this year was a short nonfiction book called Haunted History of Old San Antonio. It was written by a married couple who run ghost tours in town, and it included both places I know well (like Comanche Lookout Hill) and places I didn’t know at all. Given that I love all things spooky and supernatural, I thought this would be a good fit.

Let this be a lesson to my future self: Do not buy books sitting on grocery store checkout shelves. This book wasn’t just bad, it was horrendous. As in, so disgustingly offensive that 1) I had to check the copyright date (2011) and 2) I threw it in the trash rather than putting it in the donate pile after I abandoned it 40 pages in. No one needs to read this kind of whitewashed, racist, white-glorified garbage. To be honest, some of the phrasing and “history” in here is so offensive, I refuse to even include quotes here, because I’m just that horrified with the way this was written.

And beyond the racism and whitewashing, half of what I did read was completely made up and inaccurate! For writers who claim to be interested in the history of San Antonio, the authors don’t seem terribly concerned with accuracy or facts. There’s one line in the section about Comanche Lookout Hill that says, “From Loop 1604 today, when the wind blows right, the tower can be seen where it still stands.” First, the wind would have absolutely nothing to do with the visibility of a four-story medieval-style tower in ruins. Second, while 1604 is close by, the tower is not visible anywhere from the highway. Nor is the highway visible from any of the lookouts near the tower. That is pure fancy, and yes, was pure fancy when this was published, too. Then there was this little tidbit:

Unfortunately, this tower has been broken into and vandalized many times by juveniles throwing large parties and holding seances. Some of these vandals have even practiced witchcraft near [the] tower, trying to call back the dead on spooky Halloween nights.

That quote makes me want to die from secondhand embarrassment. Has the tower been vandalized? Yup, though not just teens are the culprits. No one is holding seances. I mean, come on. Most of what happens in the park is stuff you’d find in any area of dense woods – people doing drugs, having sex, drinking – silly, stupid, and/or reckless stuff. The book claims that people who walk around the park feel like they’re being watched or followed, and that’s again a load of bunk. That park has hundreds of folks that hang out there, people of all ages: families and school trips and seniors groups and Pokemon Go players and dog-walkers. Many of them come several times a week. I promise they’re not feeling all spooked out all the time. I’ve personally walked, hiked, and run around that park thousands of times over the last 16 years, and have only felt creeped out twice. Once was when I was off-path and came across a cache of pills and syringes – not spooky, just a big fat nope I’m outta here. The second was while listening to a ghost podcast as I jogged through a tunnel of trees that consequently felt spooky for the first time ever.

Even the history of the park is glossed over and glamorized in this book. The scant factual details are easily found in a quick google search. As someone who has hosted many hikes in the park, both regular and haunted, I know the history well, because someone always asks about the tower, or the name of the hill, or some other detail. And if I can get more info from a google search than an entire chapter, albeit short, of this book, not to mention more reliable info, how can I then trust the veracity of any other chapter?

I’ll admit, it was disappointing. I would have kept reading if it had just been a sensationalized account of the spooky bits. Honestly, that’s what I expected. But once you start adding in the parts that are too offensive to even quote? I can’t. I just can’t. Into the garbage it goes.

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Wellness Wednesday – Not Well

I don’t process emotions the way most people do. This is likely because I grew up in a household where free expression of emotion – particularly negative emotion – was discouraged or even punished. Combine that with a long period through adolescence where I thought the only way to survive depression and bullying was to withdraw so far into myself that I didn’t feel anything at all, and you have a recipe for poor coping skills. And the problem is that no matter how much therapy you go through and how much work you do, you can’t outrun the biological instincts that take over “for your protection.”

Example: When my grandfather died in 2007, my internal voice scoffed and scorned me each time I shed a tear or expressed an emotion, telling me that I was faking it, and disrespecting those around me who truly did feel grief. I recognized the defense mechanism, so I paid no attention to it, and the next time a family member died, in 2009, I disassociated altogether. I remember the funeral the way I remember dreams, floating above and behind it for the most part. I couldn’t cry at all, couldn’t force a single tear. When it was all over, I went home, and shortly afterwards, read a book that just happened to involve the unexpected death of a character I loved. I broke down completely, just bawling at his death, and then I read the book a second time, and the series all the way through, just to “spend more time with him.” That’s how I mourned this second family member, shunted sideways into an “acceptable” expression of grief.

So what am I feeling now? Uncomfortable. It’s like all my mom senses are up, knowing something is wrong, something is about to happen…except it’s not. The thing that is wrong is nothing more than the kids are no longer here. I spent so long and used so much mental energy on making sure schedules ran smoothly and chores got done and warning signs were watched for etc etc. And at first, when the house emptied out, it just felt like the kids had gone to a friend’s house, or to spend a week with their grandparents, or any number of temporary situations. Now, it feels like said temporary situation has gone on too long, so that my mom senses are acting as if something is wrong. My mind knows that everything is fine, just different. My nervous system has yet to adjust.

Yesterday was my oldest’s 22nd birthday. Three years ago, on his 19th, he was at Navy boot camp and I experienced this same uncomfortable something-is-wrong feeling when I realized that 1) it was his first birthday that I’d ever missed, and 2) I couldn’t even call him to say happy birthday or check in with how he was doing. Then the two younger children both left within months of each other this summer, so it wasn’t even a gradual change. Yeah, Laurence will be home over Christmas – note: a roundtrip flight from Canada cost well more than a month’s mortgage payment, heh – but I still just feel weird, weird, weird. Uncomfortable, like missing a tooth that’s always been there and you haven’t yet adjusted to its absence.

I did finally put up Halloween decorations, a thing that had lost all joy once the kids were gone even though I was the only person to ever get joy out of it! I felt nothing at all doing so. I’ll probably be more excited to put up the Christmas stuff simply because Laurence is coming home. I’ve lost interest in most things, and at the same time, have been obsessing over Projects. This is another thing my brain does when it can’t deal with grief or change or whatever else it’s suppose to cope with: it creates and hyperfocuses on projects. Right now, I’m in the process of transferring the important info from 13 past bullet journals into a master journal so I can get rid of all the little ones. I spend hours each day doing this, alternating between the journal project, creative photo editing (pics in this post), and staring at houses for sale in different parts of New Mexico, trying to calculate how soon we can afford to move and the best timing for that. Those things may seem from the outside to be pointless, but internally, it’s all about trying to avoid a feeling of uselessness (given that my job/identity of 17 years is basically gone) while also desperately trying to feel some sense of control now that I now have a big, yawning gap of possibility and uncertainty in front of me.

The good thing is that I’m aware of all this. I know what my brain is doing and I’m taking steps to move forward while simultaneously giving myself space to process this grief/change in whatever way my nervous system feels safest. Sometimes that’s all you can do.

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A Turn of the Tide, by Kelley Armstrong (audio)

In this third volume of the Time Stitch series, Miranda sneaks off to the time stitch only to find herself not in the 21st century, but back in the 18th. She’s just in time to stop a murder that she’s experienced as a ghost haunting in her true time period, and she just might fall in love with the man who was meant to be murdered.

While I enjoyed the first two books in this series, this was just okay for me. I’m not the biggest fan of historical fiction, pirates, or nautical tales, and this was all three. I didn’t really feel the romance between Miranda and the pirate, whose name I literally can’t recall despite finishing this book yesterday, and there was just something missing about this book that was so bright in the first two. Might have been the audio, which was downright awful. Ava Lucas reads the British accents fine, but the French accent from Pirate Loverboy was horrendous and drove me nuts! I’m sure that affected my experience, but honestly I think this book just wasn’t for me. Oh well.

PS – After drafting this post and sleeping on it overnight, my views haven’t changed, but I did remember that Pirate Loverboy’s name was Nico. Heh.

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Sunday Coffee – Book of the Month

It’s been a few years now since I joined Book of the Month. Honestly, I never thought I’d join the service, because for years I never really saw any books come through it that appealed to me. But then in June 2020, they were early-releasing Home Before Dark, which I’d been dying to get my hands on for months by then. It was a hit for my first book, and I decided to continuing giving BotM a chance.

For those who don’t know about the service, there’s a monthly fee which earns you a free book from a main set of choices. Whenever you don’t like the choices, you can skip that month, and you won’t be charged a monthly fee (so it’s not just adding up on you!). You’ve always paid one month ahead, but never more than that. You can also add on up to two more books at something like $10 each in your main package, which is a great price for hardcovers! There’s no limit to how often you can skip and no requirement for how often you must buy, which I worried about when I joined.

So that’s how the service works, and because it’s so easy to just skip, I’m really, really picky about which months I choose books. There were a few months in the beginning where I chose books that looked like they might be interesting, only to be disappointed when they arrived. There are no returns or anything, so you have to take your best guess. I got pickier, and for the most part, my choices have improved. Not always, but considering this is literally the only time I allow myself to try out new-to-me books/authors outside of the library, I’m okay with the minor risk. (Not that I don’t write down plenty of options to grab from the library if they don’t seem worth the monetary risk from BotM itself!)

Lately, the quality of books seems to be improving, or at least shifting to books more in line with what I like to read. (I’ve heard other longtime members of BotM say the books have been getting less and less in line with them, so I assume it’s probably the latter.) They seem to be trending away from literary, historical, and women’s fiction into a broader variety of choices, including mysteries, fantasy, YA, etc. It used to be three more literary choices, one thriller, and one “other” each month, but now it seems to be a different genre for each book, and that makes me really happy. The shift took place around March 2022 – which incidentally was the month I finally hit 12 books chosen. That’s how often I skipped, almost 50% of the time! Since March, I’ve gotten an additional eight books, including several add-ons for the first time. I still have months that I skip, but far less frequently.

Of those 20 total books, I’ve read (or partially read) 17, with three still on my shelves waiting for me. Of the 17, there have been five that I disliked, including three that I abandoned. The other 12 split into five that I enjoyed and seven that I loved. And of those 12 books that I liked, I only decided to keep six of them: Home Before Dark, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, The Ex Hex, The Hacienda, The Book of Cold Cases, and The Kiss Curse. The other six enjoyable reads weren’t ones I needed to keep – this is why I usually use the library – and they went off to Half Price Books along with the five I didn’t enjoy.

I would say that the service has been worthwhile for me. I get excited every month when the new selections come out. A good friend of mine and her sister also participate, and we have a little group chat where we can discuss our choices and our reads. As a person who often feels a bit too constrained when it comes to book-buying and such, it gives me a little mostly-safe risk, plus I learn about so many other books (especially new releases) that I no longer really hear about now that book blogging is a dying – or really, dead – thing. I haven’t really migrated to other platforms like booktok and don’t really plan to, and I don’t have book people that I trust for recommendations in those spaces. So this is my way of coping, I suppose.

PS. This is not a sponsored post and don’t get anything out of it. I think there’s some kind of referral code I could pass out but I don’t care enough to try to find it, heh. I just figured that after over two years, it was probably time for me to do a service review!

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