Top Ten Recent TBR Additions

I don’t really sort my TBR books into priorities, so I can’t really give a top ten additions. Instead, I’ll give the ten most recent additions to my TBR pile, my TBR future pile (books that have yet to be released), and my to-investigate pile (ones I may or may not add to my TBR after trying them out). Starting with the most recent addition:

1. Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver – interesting YA about sisters and disappearances

2. The Birth of the Pill by Jonathan Eig – nonfiction about birth control

3. Paradise Beneath Her Feet by Isobel Coleman – nonfiction about progressive women’s movements in Islam

4. Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story by Mac McClelland – nonfiction PTSD memoir

5. The Secrets She Keeps by Deb Caletti – newest adult novel of a favorite author

6. Lost and Found by Brooke Davis – random comfort-find on Wowbrary

7. The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro – an author who’s hit or miss for me

8. Something New by Lucy Knisley – because one can never have too much Knisley

9. A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab – another random Wowbrary find

10. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin – intriguing plot by an author I’ve not yet read

Anyone know these? Any you’d suggest reading first?

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 4 Comments

Sunday Coffee – BEA?

IMG_9673I am on vacation! So no coffee pic this week, just one of me playing around with makeup, ha!

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, heh, I wanted to pose a question to my fellow book bloggers. Anyone out there attending BEA this year? I went in 2010 and had a blast meeting hundreds of fellow bloggers. I was scheduled to go back the next year when my flight was canceled due to weather (boo) and the airline couldn’t get me there until the very last afternoon (pointless). After that, I wasn’t really book blogging anymore.

Now, however, I’m book blogging, and I’m much, much closer to NYC. There’s a big part of me that really wants to go. At the same time, I’m not sure who else is going. The big allure of BEA for me is meeting fellow bloggers, rather than meeting authors or acquiring ARCs. There would be no point for me to go if no one I know is going, you know?

So tell me – are you going? Have you considered going? If BEA even relevant for book bloggers anymore? (Yeah, I’m that far out of the loop…)

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 9 Comments

Unrequited, by Lisa Phillips

unrequitedSubtitled: Women and Romantic Obsession

I can’t remember where I first heard about this book, though I believe it was from a blogger. The topic sounded fascinating, a look at women and unrequited love through history, literature, and modern culture. Unfortunately, what made the book fascinating also made up what I consider its biggest flaw: it covered so much area that the whole thing felt very surface-level.

To explain – the book addressed multiple areas of unrequited love:

  • the sociological views of unrequited love through history
  • literature’s treatment of unrequited love, evolving over time
  • the various things that may cause unrequited love to turn into obsession
  • the manifestation of self-development through unrequited love
  • the manifestation of self-destruction through unrequited love
  • crossing the border into criminal activity because of unrequited love
  • pathways toward healing and letting go of unrequited love

Did I say unrequited love often enough? Heh. That’s because the entire book was pulled together by that one central topic, yet at the same time, it looked at so many different related topics that none were addressed with any great depth. Now, this may simply be my current viewpoint, having just read multiple books of very focused psychology. In the end, though, while I enjoyed the book, I kinda wished it had been a series of many books, all with a lot more focused depth. I could easily see this being a series of related nonfiction books. Having only a brief treatment of each subject satisfied me less as a whole.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Top Ten(ish) Childhood Books to Revisit

Nine years ago, pre-blogging, I embarked on a personal project to seek out and revisit my favorite childhood books. Many of them I knew only by vague memory, and didn’t even have a title to guide my search. Sometimes, despite reading a book hundreds of time, I could only remember a single scene with enough clarity to google. Imagine trying to find a book solely from a scene where a dog chases a mouse across a pool covered with plastic…yeah. It wasn’t easy.

In the end, though, I eventually found every single one of the childhood books I’d wanted to revisit, and I spent the next few years revisiting almost all of them. In fact, I’ve probably reread 95% of all my favorite books from childhood and adolescence. All but one of the list below were part of that project, and every single one remains a nostalgic favorite.

judge1. Judge Benjamin: The Superdog Rescue by Judith Whitelock McInerney – This is the book I referenced above, and I’m amazed that I found it because that particular scene I remembered is at the very beginning and only about two pages long… When I went back to read it, though, I remembered nearly every word. I must have read this book several hundred times as a kid.

2. Ghost Cat by Beverly Butler – This was easy to find, because I knew the title and remembered the cover, plus most of the plot. I reread it for RIP a few years back!

3. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle – This book came in a set with four other children’s classics, including the next two in this list. I revisited it a few years back, and while I still have nostalgia attached to it, I didn’t really like it as an adult. :/

egypt_game4. The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder – This was probably my very favorite childhood book, and when I reread it as part of this project, I discovered that many of my personal preferences in books plus some of my writing style can be traced back to The Egypt Game. The author is very nice too, and responded to a letter I wrote her!

5. From the Mixed Up Files of Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg – This is the only one on this list I haven’t revisited in adulthood, so I still remember it purely with nostalgia. It’s definitely one I plan to revisit, though.

6. Bridge to Terabithia and The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson – Both of these were beloved children’s books. Ironically, when Terabithia came out on film, I didn’t know I’d read the book. I remembered a scene, but not which book it came from, and I blew off the movie. Then later I looked up the scene, discovered it was this book, and had to both reread and watch the film.

intothedream7. Into the Dream and Singularity by William Sleator – I didn’t read a whole lot of science fiction as a kid, but both of these books, read around middle school, had profound effects on me. Images and scenes have stayed with me to this day.

8. Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn – This was the only book I couldn’t find during my project search. All I could remember was a scene with kids trapped in a ruined basement and a fight in a kitchen. Not helpful. I only know it now because in 2009, I participated in a reading challenge that accidentally brought me to this book.

9. Down a Dark Hall by Lois Duncan – I read tons of Lois Duncan as a teenager, and remember many of them fondly. I’ve reread a few in adulthood, too, but this is the one that always stood out (both then and now) as the best of them. It even creeped me out when I reread it as an adult, alone in my house one night…

eternalenemy10. The Eternal Enemy by Christopher Pike – I also read tons of Christopher Pike as a teen, but this is the one I remember most clearly. It took me forever to find it, because I only knew the author and pieces of the plot, and Pike has written so many books!

11. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume – I know, I know, this is more than ten. But I couldn’t leave these last two out. Again, I read a lot of Blume as a kid/teen, but this was the one that made the biggest impression on me. Rereading it as an adult was a very strange experience.

12. Twisted by R.L. Stine – Like the last few, I read lots of Stine’s books (though this was pre-Goosebumps, and I never read those). Most were forgettable, but this particular one about good-twin-bad-twin stuff was fascinating (if cheesy).

What are your childhood favorites?

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 13 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Happiness

IMG_9588Last summer, I participated in that 100 Happy Days project/challenge. With moving across the country and other things that were happening, I was in a very stressful place. I hoped the project would help me remember to focus on the positive on a daily basis. While it was difficult at times to find something happy every single day, I did follow through all one hundred days, and I love the spread of photos that came from my project. Looking back through them is like seeing a slideshow snapshot of part of my life.

At present, I am still going through some very tough times that I will not go into publicly. A few of you know the stresses I’m under and have been amazingly supportive, and I appreciate you all so very much. I also have another major change coming up in my life in just a few months. On top of that, I’ve been working hard to try to change my outlook from survival mode to one that’s a bit more optimistic. This is very, very hard for me – I’m kind of a pessimist by nature – but I also feel it’s important.

So I’ve decided to take the 100 Happy Days challenge a second time, this time going from tomorrow, March 23rd, through the end of June. I’m not officially signing up with the website this time, but keeping this more of a casual thing, though I do plan to try to post diligently every day. My photos will be kept on Instagram, just like last time. I may or may not come back and report in once a quarter or so on some of my favorite moments and photos from that quarter. Either way, I hope to have another wonderful slideshow snapshot of my life to look back on by the time the hundredth photo is taken.

Posted in Wellness | Tagged | 10 Comments

The Transgender Child, by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper

transgenderchildThis is a handbook/parenting guide with regards to transgender and gender-fluid children, with special emphasis on the various concerns (medical, legal, educational, etc) involved in raising gender-variant children.

Gender is and has always been a very fluid thing in my household. One of the things Jason and I always tried to teach our kids is that gender roles are purely social constructs, and there’s really no such thing as “boy toys” or “girl colors” or any other gender segregation. Consequently, our children are all fairly gender-fluid, some to a larger degree than others. I saw this book at my doctor’s office and decided to give it a try, even though the concept of gender variance isn’t new in my household.

The book was split roughly into two sections. The first deals with the concept of gender and core identity. The second is more directed toward parenting advice and the various concerns of parents in raising gender-variant children. I’ll say straight out that as this second part was less a concern to me personally and less what I went into the book to read about, I didn’t pay it as much attention. I was far more interested in the psychology and sociology involved in gender variance in modern society. Perhaps this wasn’t entirely the best book to choose for that interest. Nevertheless, the first half of the book quite satisfied me.

The thing I think many people don’t realize is that there are so many more gender possibilities than just “boy” or “girl.” Even when people do consider transgender people, they still box them into distinct boy-or-girl categories (just categories that don’t match that person’s biological sex). Children, despite being taught gender roles pretty much from birth onwards, are generally much more fluid with the concept of gender. Some feel like a boy or a girl (whether or not that matches their sex). Some feel like both. Some feel like neither. Some feel like a boy some days and a girl other days. This isn’t because they are confused and learning. This is because our society imposes a very rigid definition of gender and after that is ingrained in us, we have a hard time seeing outside that box. Children have yet to be fully put into that box, and still see a myriad of possibilities.

Another thing that people often don’t realize: gender, presentation, and sexual orientation are three very distinct and separate parts of the core self. It’s becoming clearer in modern times that gender and sexual orientation aren’t the same, and that being cisgender, transgender, agender, etc has no bearing on whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, etc. Less understood, at least from my experience, is the idea of identity presentation, or what this book calls behavior and style. For example, a biological boy may love dresses and long hair and things traditionally associated with girls, but this has absolutely nothing to do with his gender or his sexual orientation. He very well may be a cisgender straight male who simply feels more comfortable in a traditionally female behavioral pattern. A person’s presentation, however, does not make them gay or transgender or any other label society wants to put on them. We don’t usually question, for instance, the cisgender straight female who dresses in pants and tshirts. Those presentation-barriers have become far less defined for women. (And yes, this is a longstanding cause of mine, trying to break down those barriers for men.) This book goes into great detail about the differentiation between these three parts of the core identity, and how they are unique and separate from each other.

These are all issues coming more and more to light through social media and news outlets and legislative work. We are far from perfect, both in understanding and in social/legal/medical support. I think books like this can be very helpful in increasing understanding, especially for parents who find themselves unexpectedly confronted with these issues. I’ve only scratched the surface of what’s contained in The Transgender Child.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Top Ten Spring TBR Books

At present, I’m in one of those moods where I don’t want to plan too heavily what books I may or may not read over the next little while. This is especially true while I’m still in a state of flux on the kinds of books I want to read. Instead of this list being the books plan to try to read this spring, they are possible books I may or may not look at over the next few weeks/months. In no particular order:

lostfoundLost and Found by Brooke Davis – a random book that sounds light and heartwarming

The Wicked + the Divine: Vol 1 by Kieron Gillen – the first non-Knisley GN I’ve considered in a very long time

The Precious One by Marisa de los Santos – the new book from one of my favorite character-driven authors

S by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst – a very intriguing interactive design

Land of Love and Drowning by Tiphanie Yanique – cultural exploration!

alifNekropolis by Maureen McHugh – been on my to-read list for way too long

Alif Unseen or The Butterfly Mosque by G. Willow Wilson – can’t decide which at the moment, both sound good

The Secret Sky by Atia Abawi – more cultural exploration!

Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman – because I’ve waited years for it

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin – agender characters!!

And I may or may not end up reading any of these this spring, heh…

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 14 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Pouring

IMG_9571That phrase – when it rains, it pours – well, that’s this week for me in library haul. I’ve had a bunch of books on hold for a long time, and some books I just put on hold this week, and all of a sudden, they were all heading to me. Seven of them (pictured) arrived by the time we had our weekly library run this weekend. More are on their way.

Considering that four of the seven and several of those in transit are nonfiction, there is no way I’m going to get through all of these by the time they’re due. Though thankfully, my library for some reason checked them out to me until mid-April instead of the standard three weeks, so I have slightly more time.

Still, even if I don’t get through them all, I’m grateful to have them. My access to physical books has been sparse the last few weeks (did I mention some of these have been on hold for a long time?) and I’m looking forward to having plenty of books on hand for awhile!

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The Birds and Other Stories, by Daphne du Maurier

the-birds-and-other-storiesThis is a collection of six short stories by Daphne du Maurier: The Birds, Monte Verita, The Apple Tree, The Little Photographer, Kiss Me Again Stranger, and The Old Man. Note: This isn’t the cover of my copy. Mine is an older print, but I couldn’t find a decent-sized image to include.

A good friend of mine recently bought this for me, thinking I would enjoy at least one of the stories within. She was absolutely right. Du Maurier is a master of the short story, I’m pleased to say. My only previous experiences with her writing have been Rebecca (loved) and Jamaica Inn (lukewarm), so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was very, very happy with the collection!

The Birds: I’ve never seen the Hitchcock movie version of this, and I’m glad I read the story first. It’s so very deliciously creepy!

Monte Verita: Fascinating look at spirituality in nature. Had me riveted all the way through.

The Apple Tree: My favorite of the collection, bringing out far more emotions than I have time to put into a review. I could seriously write a full post on this story alone.

The Little Photographer: Not really as spooky or atmospheric as the others so far, sort of a cross between The Awakening and An American Tragedy. I enjoyed it, though not quite as much as the first three.

Kiss Me Again, Stranger: At first I wondered if maybe this would be the first story I didn’t enjoy. Seemed to be going nowhere. The end just blew me out of the water, though, total creeper…wow!

The Old Man: This was the shortest story in the collection, and the only one I couldn’t really get into. Different style of writing, a bit heavy-handed. Just didn’t work for me.

Notably, this collection would be perfect for RIP’s Peril of the Short Story. Also, it puts me in the mood for more du Maurier, so if anyone has good recommendations for her, that would be wonderful!

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk

bodykeepsscoreSubtitled: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.

As was probably obvious from the title/subtitle, this is a book of psychology focusing on the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of trauma and how they affect everything in a traumatized person’s life.

Note that this review will be, in some ways, very personal.

This book was definitely out of my comfort zone, for more than one reason. First, I don’t generally read a lot of nonfiction, especially academic nonfiction. Second, prior to this book, I knew next to nothing about PTSD or trauma psychology. Third, I have recently come to realize, through therapy, that I am suffering from long-term, complex PTSD.

While I have had many diagnoses through the years and all of them have rung true in one fashion or another, this is the first time any of my psychological symptoms have made sense in context with the things I lived through, rather than just being “chemical imbalances.” I’d never even considered PTSD as a possible diagnosis prior to my counselor making the statement that many of my symptoms, defenses, reactions, and thought processes were more in line with it than depression/anxiety. The statement was completely unexpected, and I wasn’t sure I could agree with it. I began researching PTSD, specifically a more long-term, chronic kind that isn’t rooted in a single life-altering event. I’m not sure exactly how I stumbled on this book – a facebook link out to an author interview with an excerpt from the book re: yoga and PTSD, I think? However I found it, what I read made a lot of sense, and I immediately requested the full book from the library.

IMG_9481The Body Keeps the Score is ~350 pages long. By the time I was 80 pages in, I’d already flagged over 20 spots I wanted to mark up (and I almost never write in books!). I happened to be by a bookstore at that particular time, and they happened to have one copy of this book left. Of course I bought it, then transferred all my post-it flags to my copy (and underlined/circled/etc the things I wanted to note). By the time I reached the end of the book, I had 110 spots/passages marked (see pic –>).

I learned a lot from this book. I read other peoples’ stories and behaviors, and recognized my own patterns in them (sometimes with such eerie similarities that I experienced a bizarre out-of-body deja-vu sort of sensation). At times I became so disordered in my thinking while reading – something very unlike me – that I could not focus, and it would take me half an hour to read/process two paragraphs. Sometimes during that disordered reading, I’d stop being able to feel certain parts of my body (hands, particularly), and sometimes different muscles would be so tight/tense that it was impossible to relax them. There was one completely innocuous sketch (depicting the body’s responses to trauma) that was so upsetting to my brain that I had to cover it in order to read the text on that page without having a panic attack. Reading about different experiences of physiological trauma-responses kept my mind splintering off to random parts of my life, even more than reading about the trauma-causes. The more I read, the more I believed my counselor’s observations.

I’m not going to go into my personal trauma issues here. That’s not the point of this. My point is that this book helped me to understand a lot about myself that I never saw or understood before. It didn’t “heal” me or anything, of course – that’s also not the point – but gave me ideas about possible directions to go in order to work toward healing. It gave me hope – something I haven’t had in over 25 years now – and that made the book worth reading, difficult or not.

There are only two complaints that I have with The Body Keeps the Score. First, there are a few sections that grew extremely biased and political, whereas most of the book was presented fairly scientific and neutral. While I agree with the author’s biases and politics, I feel that moving from a scientific book to a persuasive one undermines the scientific parts and makes them less credible. This, of course, is generally my response to biased nonfiction. Second, while the book talks extensively about chronic childhood trauma in the form of abuse, molestation, and neglect, there is virtually no talk at all about the effects of continual bullying or peer-abuse, which of course is a huge cause of trauma and mental health problems. I would really like to be able to read more research about this second point specifically.

I don’t have much else to say. I’m glad, for personal reasons, that I read it, and I think this is a great resource for those interested in understanding the experience of traumatized individuals.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose, Wellness | Tagged , , | 6 Comments