The Zen Leaf

Top Ten Favorite Authors

Posted on April 21, 2015 by Thistle

Favorite authors: for me, defined by my consistent enjoyment across many books, rather than simply authors of my favorite books. For example, Possession by AS Byatt is one of my favorite books, but I’ve never made it through another book she’s written, so I wouldn’t consider her a favorite author. The following (alphabetical) list are authors that may not satisfy me 100% of the time, but fairly consistently write books that resonate with me.

(my first & most-loved Caletti novel)

1. Deb Caletti – When I first began to read YA in 2009, Caletti was one of the first authors I discovered. Her books – YA and adult – are slow, quiet, and literary, and I adore them.

2. Suzanne Collins – Love her characters, her world-building, her pacing…

3. Maureen Johnson – I adore her books, and having heard her speak twice at conferences, I adore her, too.

4. William Somerset Maugham – The first classic author that I found that I liked, way back in 2001. I’ve read dozens of his books and 95% of them are wonderful.

5. Vladimir Nabokov – Yes, he can be a prick, and some of his books sacrifice story for form, but god I love Nabokov and think the man is brilliant.

(Yes. I’m looking at you. YOU.)

6. Tom Perrotta – Perrotta is the author that showed me that adult literary fiction didn’t have to be boring and pretentious.

7. Brandon Sanderson – Everything this man writes is genius, and without him, I never would have discovered how much I love fantasy.

8. Rosy Thornton – Best love stories ever, and incredible character detail.

9. Scott Westerfeld – I’ve never been able to get over how amazing this man’s imagination is.

10. Emile Zola – Zola knew exactly how to pull on heartstrings.

Who are some of your favorite authors?

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged lists | 10 Comments

Sunday Coffee – The Great Laptop Kerfuffle

Posted on April 19, 2015 by Thistle

Back in June 2013, I got a new laptop. It was a PC, running Windows 8 – the first Windows computer I’d had in over five years. I’ve never really been a 100% Windows or Mac person. There are things I love and hate about both, and at the time of getting this new laptop, I was thoroughly irritated with the newest Mac OS, and Windows 8 was a thrilling new thing.

I loved Windows 8 in the beginning, though over time, as updates to the system made it more and more like older versions, I liked it less and less. Though it had been less than two years, I was starting to think about replacing the laptop. Problem was, as I said, it was less than two years old, and I didn’t have the money to buy a new Mac. Also, the new Macs were still running the OS I didn’t like. Plus, they all had flash memory instead of real harddrives, and I really didn’t want to deal with all that. I resigned myself to another few years with this laptop, with a watered down Windows 8.

And then, as I was drafting some blog posts on Monday morning, my laptop threw a kernel error, shut down, and died. It wouldn’t find the harddrive.

Luckily, I keep my computer backed up daily, so we knew a backup existed. Unfortunately, my computer was the only Windows computer in the house, so we couldn’t tell if the backup had worked. Cue frantic discussions of what I needed to do (try to pay to fix? upgrade to a convertible tablet? get a new Mac?), which eventually became: get another PC laptop with a real harddrive ASAP and pray that my backup (school files, novels, pictures…) was intact.

Several days later (despite “overnight shipping”), my new laptop arrived. My backup had worked. I still had to download some programs, getting my settings set, etc. Actually, I’m still getting all that worked out. But I have my new laptop, and it works, and I didn’t lose anything, and that’s good, yes? Now I just need to figure out what to name this particular laptop…

Posted in Personal | Tagged Sunday Coffee | 6 Comments

Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story, by Mac McClelland

Posted on April 17, 2015 by Thistle

Mac McClelland is a journalist who developed PTSD while on assignment in Haiti. The various events/conditions that led up to the disorder are more complicated than the previous sentence makes them out to be, and of course dealing with PTSD in the years that followed was also very complicated. This book walks through that entire process.

First off, let me address some criticisms of this book that I’ve seen all over the place. McClelland does not go into details about some of the events that led up to her PTSD, for multiple reasons. Some people assume her story is unreliable in some way because of this. Additionally, given that McClelland mostly witnessed other peoples’ trauma rather than undergoing it herself, there are people who believe that she is sensationalist, narcissistic, self-centered, faking her symptoms, blah blah blah. Both of these criticisms anger me, because they are the sorts of things people say when they don’t understand the true nature of PTSD, and the invalidate the experience of the person suffering.

A personal note on PTSD: It took more than 25 years for my own complex PTSD to be recognized and diagnosed. The causes of my trauma disorder are things that have been blown off by people in the past, as in, “That happens to lots of people, you’re just making a big deal out of nothing.” This completely undermines and invalidates my experience, because for me, those things weren’t a small deal, and they did cause me to develop a trauma disorder that continues to affect me, my dealings with the world, and my relationships to this day. What many people don’t understand is that PTSD isn’t about whether a trauma is “bad enough,” nor is it about “dwelling on the past.” It’s about your body and brain getting stuck in an unending loop, when trauma is unable to get resolved and therefore stays ever-present. Just like a veteran might have flashbacks triggered by fireworks, I can just as easily have a full-on blind panic attack triggered by a casual conversation or action. I’m not going to go into all my particular details here. My point is just that the general public knows very little about PTSD, and it’s far too easy to judge someone who has it if you’ve never experienced the sorts of uncontrollable physical/emotional/mental reactions that the disorder brings.

Now. Stepping off the soapbox. McClelland’s memoir was very well put-together. She discussed a lot of objective information on trauma, PTSD, recovery techniques, cultural awareness, etc, while at the same time discussing her subjective personal experiences. There was a good balance in that. She also presented the horrors of going public and having the public attack – something that has happened since the publication of this book as well, as noted above. Writing this, and the other things she has written on PTSD, was incredibly brave, in my opinion, and to then provide a very good balance between objective and subjective on top of that made for a very powerful book.

On a personal note (yes, again), I want to say that while reading this book, two very important things happened for me. The first was that I had a moment when I picked up the book, read a sentence, and immediately had to put it down as I began to dissociate. The sentence itself was not important. Instead, it triggered off a series of memories that realigned in my head. Again, not going into details, but I suddenly saw the last fifteen years of my life in a much clearer way, and discovered roots of parts of my life that I’d previously remembered-but-not-understood. The second was profound relief regarding my own dissociation (in general, not in the specific mentioned above). I never understood why, when I dissociated, I tended to lose random body parts, like mid-thigh to mid-calf, or just my arms below my elbows, or just my hands. I still don’t know why, but hearing that McClelland also randomly loses her hands or arms made me feel less out of the ordinary.

Before I end this review, let me give one word of caution to anyone who might want to pick up this book. There is a lot of discussion about sexual violence here, some of it very detailed, so if that is a trigger for you, proceed with caution.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose, Wellness | Tagged gender studies, nonfiction, psychology | 5 Comments

Ten Fun Vacation Things

Posted on April 14, 2015 by Thistle

Second week in a row when the Top Ten Tuesday topic doesn’t really work for me, so instead, I’m going to recap the recent four-day visit I had from my very good friend Stephanie! In no particular order, my top ten favorite things from this visit:

1. A couple mornings, we went to Great Harvest Bread to get breakfast, very delicious breakfast consisting of scones, muffins, and iced coffee…mmm…

2. I also got to introduce Stephanie to the wonders of Cabot’s, where the desserts are monstrous. This sundae is a small. No joke.

3. On our first night, Stephanie and I played Cards Against Humanity with the boys. That was just way too much fun.

4. Ash, our six-year-old cat, adopted Stephanie the moment she arrived, and pretty much spent the trip teaching her how to sit so that he could be most comfortable in her lap. He does this thing where if you’re not sitting properly, he’ll perch awkwardly to show you what you’re doing wrong. He was quite satisfied to get her sitting “right” by the end of the trip.

5. We explored a newly opened craft beer shop, and one evening went to Brewer’s Coalition, where they have a lovely beer sampler: four five-ounce samples for $10, chosen from any of the twenty beers they have on tap that night. My favorite was the O’Hara’s Irish stout. I really like darker beers.

6. The weather was so nice for this trip, most of the time anyway. On our first full day, to walk off some of that monstrous sundae pictured above, we took a long walk to the library, and spent some time exploring there.

7. Stephanie got to make a Mii for herself on our Wii, as well as an alter-ego (of sorts), which consisted only of dots for various facial features. I was quite giggly on Chardonnay at the time, so it was a high-laughter kind of night. Another night, we were all giggly on Mario-Cart…

8. We painted at The Paint Bar, and went totally off script, working a Texas flag and Texas wildflowers into a Boston skyline on the Charles River. Ha! I love this step-by-step painting thing. Kinda addicted.

9. We explored a new-to-me part of Boston one day, seeking out a pizza place that Stephanie’s dad insisted we visit. It was, indeed, very good pizza.

10. Our goodbye wasn’t sad at all, because we know we’ll be seeing each other again soon. Stephanie is coming for a second visit next week, when we’re traveling up to New Hampshire together for a conference she’s presenting at! In fact, between my San Antonio vacation in the last week of March, and these two visits from Stephanie, we’ve actually gotten to see each other thrice in a single month! Woohoo!

Posted in Personal | Tagged lists | 3 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Change

Posted on April 12, 2015 by Thistle

This week, while reading a book, I had a moment of clarity. You know those moments when a single word or phrase can take the way you remember a part of your life and rearrange it in an instant? An ah-ha moment of sorts, or a moment of sudden realization? Seeing something you’ve never seen before, or understanding something differently?

This is what I love about books. The mind expands when we read.

I’m in the mood for sharing. Tell me your favorite story of books opening up new paths of thought for you. 🙂

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged Sunday Coffee | 4 Comments

Vanishing Girls, by Lauren Oliver

Posted on April 10, 2015 by Thistle

Nick and Dara used to be close, but after a major accident leaves them both scarred, the sisters are no longer speaking. That’s all I’m going to say about that. There’s more in the book description, but I feel any more would be spoilery.

Lauren Oliver is one of those hit-or-miss authors for me, mostly because she writes in a broad range of styles, on a broad range of subjects, and for a broad range of audiences. Only some of those styles, subjects, and/or audiences work for me. I highly respect her work and diversity, but I never know, going into one of her books, if it’ll be for me. Vanishing Girls? It was for me.

This is one of those books that circumstances dictated had to be put down, to my annoyance, because I wanted to gobble the whole thing at once. It was a book that had me skimming through a second time to line up newly-revealed facts in my head. It was a book that I guessed at, and got really close to the truth, but didn’t fully understand all the way up until the reveal.

The characters were fully drawn. The research was A+. The mystery was perfectly balanced. The plot was engaging. The psychological aspects were spot-on. And so on. Yes, I very much liked this one.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that, because to say more might get into spoiler region, and this is the sort of book that, for me, feels best to experience unspoiled the first time.

Posted in 2015, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged psychology | 4 Comments

San Antonio Vacation

Posted on April 8, 2015 by Thistle

Back in December, I went to San Antonio for a week to visit with friends and family. It was the first time since we moved to the Boston area in early August, and it was lovely to see everyone again. I didn’t think I’d be heading back again so soon, but then two things happened. First, I realized the Run 4 Hope 5K – an event I’ve participated in the last few years, to benefit the Rape Crisis Center – was happening the last weekend in March, and I really wanted to participate again. Second, I’d earned enough points for a free Southwest flight again. Woot!

My trip this time was shorter, only five days not including travel days. Whereas in December, I stuffed every possible visit (chiropractor, Spark-dinner, visiting every restaurant/store I missed…) into a week, this time, I took it easy and relaxed. The first two days were spent with my dad, stepmom, and half-sister. Lauren (my stepmom) took me walking down by the river in a newly-developed natural area, and the second day took me out for a long walk on the trail. All of it was so beautiful! Plus, super cute duck family with nine little squeaking ducklings! The change from cold-and-snowy to green-and-beautiful-out was amazing. (Not amazing was the oak pollen, which had me coughing/throat-sore, boo.)

From my dad’s house, I met up with my friend Stephanie to pick up our packages for the 5K, and went back to her house for the next 24ish hours. That night, we made dinner together and played a frickin’ awesome storyboard game called Story War, and the next morning, we met up with some friends (Sarah and Zach) for the 5K. The four of us walked it together last year, and did the same this year. We only broke out of our comfortable pace at the end, where we jogged across the finish line in superman poses. (Because the 5K theme was superheroes, as in being heroes for those who use the Center. I was representing a 34-year-old female this year.)

Stephanie took me shopping in the afternoon for my personal April project, which I’ve been colloquially calling “Operation Girly Girl.” It’s well-known that I do not like or wear dresses/skirts or makeup. Until this project, I’d only worn makeup twice in the previous decade – once at a wedding, and once for Halloween. Yeah. I vowed to “dress like a traditionally-gendered girl” for every day in April (difficult for me, since I’m agender – without gender – and do not feel any connection to traditional girly stuff at all). I put on makeup that afternoon (the pic I featured in that week’s Sunday Coffee), and have worn it every day since, despite my irritation with it.

I went to my cousin Jen’s house that evening and spent the next day with her. I will not say much about this part, because it involves Super Secret Stuff (okay, maybe just stuff I can’t mention yet). Before all the SSS, however, we went for a long walk/hike at our traditional spot. (And yes, I got in more exercise on this vacation than I’d been getting in awhile!) After all the SSS, we went out with extended family to look at a few houses that my great-aunt is potentially looking to buy, because she wants to move closer to the family (yay!). And after that, a whole bunch of my family went out to eat, and I had fish and chips and Guinness, mmm…

My last 1.5 days in town were spent with my mom. That included some additional shopping, mostly for stuff for the boys, and some fun things like chasing a rooster out of the yard so he wouldn’t attack my mom’s chickens, and gathering the chickens’ eggs for that day. Oh, and Intense Chocolate ice cream (not my pic), the very best ice cream on the planet, and can only be purchased in southern Texas…

My flight home was WAY too early (as in, get up at 4:45 kind of early), and I had three frickin’ flights that day. It might have been a horrible day, except that it turned out that my Aunt Lenny – one family member I hadn’t seen on either trip – just happened to be on that first leg, and we sat together and chatted the whole way. Totally made my day. Well, that and arriving in the Boston airport to see Jason approaching with a beautiful bouquet of roses. Bliss.

Posted in Personal | Tagged fitness, race report, travel | 9 Comments

Ten Bookish Questions from Trisha

Posted on April 7, 2015 by Thistle

Way, way back several weeks ago, Trisha from Eclectic/Eccentric listed ten questions and nominated certain bloggers, including me, to answer them. There was a book blogger award associated with this, but I’m not so much worried about that (or coming up with my own questions). Instead, I’m answering Trisha’s questions today because the normal Top Ten Tuesday prompt has a topic today that doesn’t really work for me. Might as well keep up the tradition of a Tuesday list, though! So here goes:

1. What time of day do you typically read/do you prefer to read?
These days, what with all the studying I do, I tend to read in random moments – during meals (when no one else is home), on audio while I cook or clean or exercise, etc. I think I probably read more in the late afternoons/evenings, when the house is too loud to study.

2. What is your strangest book related obsession?
There are certain books that enter my brain in a weird way and then stick there, and the only way to handle it is to read them over and over and over until they get unstuck. I’ve been known to read a book six or seven times in a row before moving to the next, or to read a series ten times over a few months (*coughHarryPottercough*). I call those books multi-reads, and they almost always become favorites.

3. Like which author do you wish you wrote?
As someone who has spent years developing her own style of writing, I actually don’t wish I wrote like any other author. I’d love the bank accounts and publishing history of some, though. Sure.

4. Who do you think is the most over-rated author?
I hesitate to answer this one because readers find all different sorts of things they like/dislike in authors, and there are many I consider overrated that others adore. Then there’s why you consider them overrated. I can, for instance, understand why Gustave Flaubert is an important figure in literature, even though I think he’s an extremely overrated author. So let’s just go with that.

5. What do you think is the most over-rated book?
I know 99% of the planet disagrees with me, but I have to say the Time Traveler’s Wife. I just don’t get the appeal. There was nothing I enjoyed about it.

6. Which two authors would you like to see go head to head in a word-off (like a dance-off)?
Oscar Wilde and Maureen Johnson. With Jane Austen and Neil Gaiman as their seconds, respectively. Yee-haw!

7. I’ve always wanted to read Lord of the Rings in a cabin in the mountains or Nora Roberts in an Irish inn or The Woman in White in an abandoned asylum. What book-location pairing do you wish for?
This is absolutely the most intriguing question! I’ve really had to stretch to think of an answer, because I’ve never thought about reading a book in a setting-related place. I’ve had books that made me want to go places, but not necessarily to go to them in order to read there…hm. Well, I think the best answer I’ve got is that I would love to reread City of Dark Magic in Prague, so I can go to all the places it references.

8. Describe your bookish self in three words.
Long reading moodswings. (Yes, I made that into one word so I could cheat.)

9. Name one of your favorite characters and what you would do with him/her if you had one day together.
*Must. Not. Discuss. Howl.*

10. If you had one extra day in the week, that nobody knew about and didn’t count, what would you with it?
I’ll be honest. I’m so exhausted these days, I’d probably spend the day having a Downton Abbey marathon while eating all the junk food and drinking all the wine I wanted. 😀

Thanks Trisha! These were awesome. 🙂

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged lists | 6 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Wrapping up March (and February)

Posted on April 5, 2015 by Thistle

Oops. I realized I never did a February wrap-up. Better late than never, right?

So. February. Five books – two nonfiction, one speculative, one story collection, one epic poem. They were mostly good, though not as good as January’s amazingness. I can see why I didn’t think to wrap up the month. Best of February? Lucy Knisley’s Displacement. There. Done.

Now, on to March! I finished six books in March, including a couple that didn’t quite work for me, and some that worked really well (including a re-listen of The Raven Boys, yay!). They included three nonfiction (whoa!), a story collection, and two fiction. Seriously, I think I’ve read more nonfiction, story collections, and poetry this year than the last four years combined… Favorite book of the month was The Body Keeps the Score, nonfiction psychology about PTSD.

And huh, both of these months have nonfiction favorites. January did as well. In fact, January’s nonfiction favorite – All Joy and No Fun – remains my favorite book from the first quarter of 2015. This is a bizarre year for me…

March was a good month generally. I got further into my paralegal course and Spanish lessons, and at the end of the month, I got to spend a week in San Antonio with friends and family. I’ll write more about that later this week (hopefully), but the short version = GOOD TRIP. Yes.

Hope y’all had good months, and a wonderful Easter today if you celebrate. 🙂

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged Sunday Coffee | Leave a comment

Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Thistle

Ever since Grace was attacked by wolves when she was young, she’s been obsessed with them. Then a classmate gets mauled, and the wolves come under attack by their town, and Grace discovers that these wolves might not be just normal wolves. Yes, this is a werewolf story.

I’m going to review this in parts.

Comparison: I can’t not compare this book with others by Stiefvater. It would be unfair for me to give my opinion without qualifying it by saying that my first experience with her was the wonderful Raven Cycle. I’ve adored that series – character, plot, writing, everything. When I went into The Scorpio Races, while it was well-written, it didn’t engage me, and I gave it up halfway through. So I went into this one with some foreboding, especially as I heard from other people that it wasn’t necessarily the best of her books. My conclusion? The writing is younger and less mature than the others I’ve experienced, but the story was more engaging for me than Scorpio (less so than Raven), and I did want to finish the book. And did so, very quickly. And will probably move on to the sequels.

Characters: This is where I felt that the book was weakest. Grace and Sam were pretty much the only real characters for 2/3rds of the book, and there was a lot of over-focus on their relationship. Since they never really got to be friends first, it was all a bit too trope for me. Grace’s other friends and her family were hardly there (more trope) so all of those characters were a bit flat. However, I’ll say that with the caveat that the last third of the book grew a lot rounder. We got past all the intense teen romance and into deeper issues. I ended up loving Isabel, and felt like some other characters (Beck, Jack, Olivia) gained some roundness. I’m hopeful that with the undying love stuff taken care of already (unless, of course, something disrupts it), there will be more character and story development in the next book. Which leads me to:

Story: Again, the first part of this book was a bit too one-sided for my preferences, though this may have to do with me being well over the intended age audience of Shiver. I freely admit that. On the other hand, I did find the plot engaging, and once we got past the romance and into the inter-workings of pack life, disease, possible cures, poetry, telepathic communication, psychological scars, etc, the book really picked up. I was so much more interested once the story became many-layered, and I’m hopeful about the sequels. I say that with the caveat that I’ve read nothing about the sequels, so I don’t actually know what direction they’re going re: romance, as mentioned above.

Conclusion: This was a mixed experience, though I think ultimately positive. The series – provided I finish it – will likely not replace the Raven Cycle as a favorite, but I do think it will be enjoyable (or at least hope so). Also, it was far better than I was expecting going in.

Posted in 2015, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged speculative | 8 Comments