San Antonio Vacation

Back in December, I went to San Antonio for a week to visit with friends and family. It was the first time since we moved to the Boston area in early August, and it was lovely to see everyone again. I didn’t think I’d be heading back again so soon, but then two things happened. First, I realized the Run 4 Hope 5K – an event I’ve participated in the last few years, to benefit the Rape Crisis Center – was happening the last weekend in March, and I really wanted to participate again. Second, I’d earned enough points for a free Southwest flight again. Woot!

river 1My trip this time was shorter, only five days not including travel days. Whereas in December, I stuffed every possible visit (chiropractor, Spark-dinner, visiting every restaurant/store I missed…) into a week, this time, I took it easy and relaxed. The first two days were spent with my dad, stepmom, and half-sister. Lauren (my stepmom) took me walking down by the river in a newly-developed natural area, and the second day took me out for a long walk on the trail. All of it was so beautiful! Plus, super cute duck family with nine little squeaking ducklings! The change from cold-and-snowy to green-and-beautiful-out was amazing. (Not amazing was the oak pollen, which had me coughing/throat-sore, boo.)

official 5k 3From my dad’s house, I met up with my friend Stephanie to pick up our packages for the 5K, and went back to her house for the next 24ish hours. That night, we made dinner together and played a frickin’ awesome storyboard game called Story War, and the next morning, we met up with some friends (Sarah and Zach) for the 5K. The four of us walked it together last year, and did the same this year. We only broke out of our comfortable pace at the end, where we jogged across the finish line in superman poses. (Because the 5K theme was superheroes, as in being heroes for those who use the Center. I was representing a 34-year-old female this year.)

Stephanie took me shopping in the afternoon for my personal April project, which I’ve been colloquially calling “Operation Girly Girl.” It’s well-known that I do not like or wear dresses/skirts or makeup. Until this project, I’d only worn makeup twice in the previous decade – once at a wedding, and once for Halloween. Yeah. I vowed to “dress like a traditionally-gendered girl” for every day in April (difficult for me, since I’m agender – without gender – and do not feel any connection to traditional girly stuff at all). I put on makeup that afternoon (the pic I featured in that week’s Sunday Coffee), and have worn it every day since, despite my irritation with it.

I went to my cousin Jen’s house that evening and spent the next day with her. I will not say much about this part, because it involves Super Secret Stuff (okay, maybe just stuff I can’t mention yet). Before all the SSS, however, we went for a long walk/hike at our traditional spot. (And yes, I got in more exercise on this vacation than I’d been getting in awhile!) After all the SSS, we went out with extended family to look at a few houses that my great-aunt is potentially looking to buy, because she wants to move closer to the family (yay!). And after that, a whole bunch of my family went out to eat, and I had fish and chips and Guinness, mmm…

8 eggsMy last 1.5 days in town were spent with my mom. That included some additional shopping, mostly for stuff for the boys, and some fun things like chasing a rooster out of the yard so he wouldn’t attack my mom’s chickens, and gathering the chickens’ eggs for that day. Oh, and Intense Chocolate ice cream (not my pic), the very best ice cream on the planet, and can only be purchased in southern Texas…

9 homecomingMy flight home was WAY too early (as in, get up at 4:45 kind of early), and I had three frickin’ flights that day. It might have been a horrible day, except that it turned out that my Aunt Lenny – one family member I hadn’t seen on either trip – just happened to be on that first leg, and we sat together and chatted the whole way. Totally made my day. Well, that and arriving in the Boston airport to see Jason approaching with a beautiful bouquet of roses. Bliss.

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Ten Bookish Questions from Trisha

Way, way back several weeks ago, Trisha from Eclectic/Eccentric listed ten questions and nominated certain bloggers, including me, to answer them. There was a book blogger award associated with this, but I’m not so much worried about that (or coming up with my own questions). Instead, I’m answering Trisha’s questions today because the normal Top Ten Tuesday prompt has a topic today that doesn’t really work for me. Might as well keep up the tradition of a Tuesday list, though! So here goes:

1. What time of day do you typically read/do you prefer to read?
These days, what with all the studying I do, I tend to read in random moments – during meals (when no one else is home), on audio while I cook or clean or exercise, etc. I think I probably read more in the late afternoons/evenings, when the house is too loud to study.

07 HP Collection2. What is your strangest book related obsession?
There are certain books that enter my brain in a weird way and then stick there, and the only way to handle it is to read them over and over and over until they get unstuck. I’ve been known to read a book six or seven times in a row before moving to the next, or to read a series ten times over a few months (*coughHarryPottercough*). I call those books multi-reads, and they almost always become favorites.

3. Like which author do you wish you wrote?
As someone who has spent years developing her own style of writing, I actually don’t wish I wrote like any other author. I’d love the bank accounts and publishing history of some, though. Sure.

flaubert-quote4. Who do you think is the most over-rated author?
I hesitate to answer this one because readers find all different sorts of things they like/dislike in authors, and there are many I consider overrated that others adore. Then there’s why you consider them overrated. I can, for instance, understand why Gustave Flaubert is an important figure in literature, even though I think he’s an extremely overrated author. So let’s just go with that.

5. What do you think is the most over-rated book?
I know 99% of the planet disagrees with me, but I have to say the Time Traveler’s Wife. I just don’t get the appeal. There was nothing I enjoyed about it.

6. Which two authors would you like to see go head to head in a word-off (like a dance-off)?
Oscar Wilde and Maureen Johnson. With Jane Austen and Neil Gaiman as their seconds, respectively. Yee-haw!

7. I’ve always wanted to read Lord of the Rings in a cabin in the mountains or Nora Roberts in an Irish inn or The Woman in White in an abandoned asylum. What book-location pairing do you wish for?
This is absolutely the most intriguing question! I’ve really had to stretch to think of an answer, because I’ve never thought about reading a book in a setting-related place. I’ve had books that made me want to go places, but not necessarily to go to them in order to read there…hm. Well, I think the best answer I’ve got is that I would love to reread City of Dark Magic in Prague, so I can go to all the places it references.

8. Describe your bookish self in three words.
Long reading moodswings. (Yes, I made that into one word so I could cheat.)

howl9. Name one of your favorite characters and what you would do with him/her if you had one day together.
*Must. Not. Discuss. Howl.*

10. If you had one extra day in the week, that nobody knew about and didn’t count, what would you with it?
I’ll be honest. I’m so exhausted these days, I’d probably spend the day having a Downton Abbey marathon while eating all the junk food and drinking all the wine I wanted. 😀

Thanks Trisha! These were awesome. 🙂

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Sunday Coffee – Wrapping up March (and February)

New ImageOops. I realized I never did a February wrap-up. Better late than never, right?

So. February. Five books – two nonfiction, one speculative, one story collection, one epic poem. They were mostly good, though not as good as January’s amazingness. I can see why I didn’t think to wrap up the month. Best of February? Lucy Knisley’s Displacement. There. Done.

Now, on to March! I finished six books in March, including a couple that didn’t quite work for me, and some that worked really well (including a re-listen of The Raven Boys, yay!). They included three nonfiction (whoa!), a story collection, and two fiction. Seriously, I think I’ve read more nonfiction, story collections, and poetry this year than the last four years combined… Favorite book of the month was The Body Keeps the Score, nonfiction psychology about PTSD.

And huh, both of these months have nonfiction favorites. January did as well. In fact, January’s nonfiction favorite – All Joy and No Fun – remains my favorite book from the first quarter of 2015. This is a bizarre year for me…

March was a good month generally. I got further into my paralegal course and Spanish lessons, and at the end of the month, I got to spend a week in San Antonio with friends and family. I’ll write more about that later this week (hopefully), but the short version = GOOD TRIP. Yes.

Hope y’all had good months, and a wonderful Easter today if you celebrate. 🙂

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Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater

shiver_coverEver since Grace was attacked by wolves when she was young, she’s been obsessed with them. Then a classmate gets mauled, and the wolves come under attack by their town, and Grace discovers that these wolves might not be just normal wolves. Yes, this is a werewolf story.

I’m going to review this in parts.

Comparison: I can’t not compare this book with others by Stiefvater. It would be unfair for me to give my opinion without qualifying it by saying that my first experience with her was the wonderful Raven Cycle. I’ve adored that series – character, plot, writing, everything. When I went into The Scorpio Races, while it was well-written, it didn’t engage me, and I gave it up halfway through. So I went into this one with some foreboding, especially as I heard from other people that it wasn’t necessarily the best of her books. My conclusion? The writing is younger and less mature than the others I’ve experienced, but the story was more engaging for me than Scorpio (less so than Raven), and I did want to finish the book. And did so, very quickly. And will probably move on to the sequels.

Characters: This is where I felt that the book was weakest. Grace and Sam were pretty much the only real characters for 2/3rds of the book, and there was a lot of over-focus on their relationship. Since they never really got to be friends first, it was all a bit too trope for me. Grace’s other friends and her family were hardly there (more trope) so all of those characters were a bit flat. However, I’ll say that with the caveat that the last third of the book grew a lot rounder. We got past all the intense teen romance and into deeper issues. I ended up loving Isabel, and felt like some other characters (Beck, Jack, Olivia) gained some roundness. I’m hopeful that with the undying love stuff taken care of already (unless, of course, something disrupts it), there will be more character and story development in the next book. Which leads me to:

Story: Again, the first part of this book was a bit too one-sided for my preferences, though this may have to do with me being well over the intended age audience of Shiver. I freely admit that. On the other hand, I did find the plot engaging, and once we got past the romance and into the inter-workings of pack life, disease, possible cures, poetry, telepathic communication, psychological scars, etc, the book really picked up. I was so much more interested once the story became many-layered, and I’m hopeful about the sequels. I say that with the caveat that I’ve read nothing about the sequels, so I don’t actually know what direction they’re going re: romance, as mentioned above.

Conclusion: This was a mixed experience, though I think ultimately positive. The series – provided I finish it – will likely not replace the Raven Cycle as a favorite, but I do think it will be enjoyable (or at least hope so). Also, it was far better than I was expecting going in.

Posted in 2015, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged | 8 Comments

Top Ten Recent TBR Additions

I don’t really sort my TBR books into priorities, so I can’t really give a top ten additions. Instead, I’ll give the ten most recent additions to my TBR pile, my TBR future pile (books that have yet to be released), and my to-investigate pile (ones I may or may not add to my TBR after trying them out). Starting with the most recent addition:

1. Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver – interesting YA about sisters and disappearances

2. The Birth of the Pill by Jonathan Eig – nonfiction about birth control

3. Paradise Beneath Her Feet by Isobel Coleman – nonfiction about progressive women’s movements in Islam

4. Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story by Mac McClelland – nonfiction PTSD memoir

5. The Secrets She Keeps by Deb Caletti – newest adult novel of a favorite author

6. Lost and Found by Brooke Davis – random comfort-find on Wowbrary

7. The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro – an author who’s hit or miss for me

8. Something New by Lucy Knisley – because one can never have too much Knisley

9. A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab – another random Wowbrary find

10. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin – intriguing plot by an author I’ve not yet read

Anyone know these? Any you’d suggest reading first?

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 4 Comments

Sunday Coffee – BEA?

IMG_9673I am on vacation! So no coffee pic this week, just one of me playing around with makeup, ha!

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, heh, I wanted to pose a question to my fellow book bloggers. Anyone out there attending BEA this year? I went in 2010 and had a blast meeting hundreds of fellow bloggers. I was scheduled to go back the next year when my flight was canceled due to weather (boo) and the airline couldn’t get me there until the very last afternoon (pointless). After that, I wasn’t really book blogging anymore.

Now, however, I’m book blogging, and I’m much, much closer to NYC. There’s a big part of me that really wants to go. At the same time, I’m not sure who else is going. The big allure of BEA for me is meeting fellow bloggers, rather than meeting authors or acquiring ARCs. There would be no point for me to go if no one I know is going, you know?

So tell me – are you going? Have you considered going? If BEA even relevant for book bloggers anymore? (Yeah, I’m that far out of the loop…)

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Unrequited, by Lisa Phillips

unrequitedSubtitled: Women and Romantic Obsession

I can’t remember where I first heard about this book, though I believe it was from a blogger. The topic sounded fascinating, a look at women and unrequited love through history, literature, and modern culture. Unfortunately, what made the book fascinating also made up what I consider its biggest flaw: it covered so much area that the whole thing felt very surface-level.

To explain – the book addressed multiple areas of unrequited love:

  • the sociological views of unrequited love through history
  • literature’s treatment of unrequited love, evolving over time
  • the various things that may cause unrequited love to turn into obsession
  • the manifestation of self-development through unrequited love
  • the manifestation of self-destruction through unrequited love
  • crossing the border into criminal activity because of unrequited love
  • pathways toward healing and letting go of unrequited love

Did I say unrequited love often enough? Heh. That’s because the entire book was pulled together by that one central topic, yet at the same time, it looked at so many different related topics that none were addressed with any great depth. Now, this may simply be my current viewpoint, having just read multiple books of very focused psychology. In the end, though, while I enjoyed the book, I kinda wished it had been a series of many books, all with a lot more focused depth. I could easily see this being a series of related nonfiction books. Having only a brief treatment of each subject satisfied me less as a whole.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Top Ten(ish) Childhood Books to Revisit

Nine years ago, pre-blogging, I embarked on a personal project to seek out and revisit my favorite childhood books. Many of them I knew only by vague memory, and didn’t even have a title to guide my search. Sometimes, despite reading a book hundreds of time, I could only remember a single scene with enough clarity to google. Imagine trying to find a book solely from a scene where a dog chases a mouse across a pool covered with plastic…yeah. It wasn’t easy.

In the end, though, I eventually found every single one of the childhood books I’d wanted to revisit, and I spent the next few years revisiting almost all of them. In fact, I’ve probably reread 95% of all my favorite books from childhood and adolescence. All but one of the list below were part of that project, and every single one remains a nostalgic favorite.

judge1. Judge Benjamin: The Superdog Rescue by Judith Whitelock McInerney – This is the book I referenced above, and I’m amazed that I found it because that particular scene I remembered is at the very beginning and only about two pages long… When I went back to read it, though, I remembered nearly every word. I must have read this book several hundred times as a kid.

2. Ghost Cat by Beverly Butler – This was easy to find, because I knew the title and remembered the cover, plus most of the plot. I reread it for RIP a few years back!

3. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle – This book came in a set with four other children’s classics, including the next two in this list. I revisited it a few years back, and while I still have nostalgia attached to it, I didn’t really like it as an adult. :/

egypt_game4. The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder – This was probably my very favorite childhood book, and when I reread it as part of this project, I discovered that many of my personal preferences in books plus some of my writing style can be traced back to The Egypt Game. The author is very nice too, and responded to a letter I wrote her!

5. From the Mixed Up Files of Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg – This is the only one on this list I haven’t revisited in adulthood, so I still remember it purely with nostalgia. It’s definitely one I plan to revisit, though.

6. Bridge to Terabithia and The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson – Both of these were beloved children’s books. Ironically, when Terabithia came out on film, I didn’t know I’d read the book. I remembered a scene, but not which book it came from, and I blew off the movie. Then later I looked up the scene, discovered it was this book, and had to both reread and watch the film.

intothedream7. Into the Dream and Singularity by William Sleator – I didn’t read a whole lot of science fiction as a kid, but both of these books, read around middle school, had profound effects on me. Images and scenes have stayed with me to this day.

8. Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn – This was the only book I couldn’t find during my project search. All I could remember was a scene with kids trapped in a ruined basement and a fight in a kitchen. Not helpful. I only know it now because in 2009, I participated in a reading challenge that accidentally brought me to this book.

9. Down a Dark Hall by Lois Duncan – I read tons of Lois Duncan as a teenager, and remember many of them fondly. I’ve reread a few in adulthood, too, but this is the one that always stood out (both then and now) as the best of them. It even creeped me out when I reread it as an adult, alone in my house one night…

eternalenemy10. The Eternal Enemy by Christopher Pike – I also read tons of Christopher Pike as a teen, but this is the one I remember most clearly. It took me forever to find it, because I only knew the author and pieces of the plot, and Pike has written so many books!

11. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume – I know, I know, this is more than ten. But I couldn’t leave these last two out. Again, I read a lot of Blume as a kid/teen, but this was the one that made the biggest impression on me. Rereading it as an adult was a very strange experience.

12. Twisted by R.L. Stine – Like the last few, I read lots of Stine’s books (though this was pre-Goosebumps, and I never read those). Most were forgettable, but this particular one about good-twin-bad-twin stuff was fascinating (if cheesy).

What are your childhood favorites?

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | 13 Comments

Sunday Coffee – Happiness

IMG_9588Last summer, I participated in that 100 Happy Days project/challenge. With moving across the country and other things that were happening, I was in a very stressful place. I hoped the project would help me remember to focus on the positive on a daily basis. While it was difficult at times to find something happy every single day, I did follow through all one hundred days, and I love the spread of photos that came from my project. Looking back through them is like seeing a slideshow snapshot of part of my life.

At present, I am still going through some very tough times that I will not go into publicly. A few of you know the stresses I’m under and have been amazingly supportive, and I appreciate you all so very much. I also have another major change coming up in my life in just a few months. On top of that, I’ve been working hard to try to change my outlook from survival mode to one that’s a bit more optimistic. This is very, very hard for me – I’m kind of a pessimist by nature – but I also feel it’s important.

So I’ve decided to take the 100 Happy Days challenge a second time, this time going from tomorrow, March 23rd, through the end of June. I’m not officially signing up with the website this time, but keeping this more of a casual thing, though I do plan to try to post diligently every day. My photos will be kept on Instagram, just like last time. I may or may not come back and report in once a quarter or so on some of my favorite moments and photos from that quarter. Either way, I hope to have another wonderful slideshow snapshot of my life to look back on by the time the hundredth photo is taken.

Posted in Wellness | Tagged | 10 Comments

The Transgender Child, by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper

transgenderchildThis is a handbook/parenting guide with regards to transgender and gender-fluid children, with special emphasis on the various concerns (medical, legal, educational, etc) involved in raising gender-variant children.

Gender is and has always been a very fluid thing in my household. One of the things Jason and I always tried to teach our kids is that gender roles are purely social constructs, and there’s really no such thing as “boy toys” or “girl colors” or any other gender segregation. Consequently, our children are all fairly gender-fluid, some to a larger degree than others. I saw this book at my doctor’s office and decided to give it a try, even though the concept of gender variance isn’t new in my household.

The book was split roughly into two sections. The first deals with the concept of gender and core identity. The second is more directed toward parenting advice and the various concerns of parents in raising gender-variant children. I’ll say straight out that as this second part was less a concern to me personally and less what I went into the book to read about, I didn’t pay it as much attention. I was far more interested in the psychology and sociology involved in gender variance in modern society. Perhaps this wasn’t entirely the best book to choose for that interest. Nevertheless, the first half of the book quite satisfied me.

The thing I think many people don’t realize is that there are so many more gender possibilities than just “boy” or “girl.” Even when people do consider transgender people, they still box them into distinct boy-or-girl categories (just categories that don’t match that person’s biological sex). Children, despite being taught gender roles pretty much from birth onwards, are generally much more fluid with the concept of gender. Some feel like a boy or a girl (whether or not that matches their sex). Some feel like both. Some feel like neither. Some feel like a boy some days and a girl other days. This isn’t because they are confused and learning. This is because our society imposes a very rigid definition of gender and after that is ingrained in us, we have a hard time seeing outside that box. Children have yet to be fully put into that box, and still see a myriad of possibilities.

Another thing that people often don’t realize: gender, presentation, and sexual orientation are three very distinct and separate parts of the core self. It’s becoming clearer in modern times that gender and sexual orientation aren’t the same, and that being cisgender, transgender, agender, etc has no bearing on whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, etc. Less understood, at least from my experience, is the idea of identity presentation, or what this book calls behavior and style. For example, a biological boy may love dresses and long hair and things traditionally associated with girls, but this has absolutely nothing to do with his gender or his sexual orientation. He very well may be a cisgender straight male who simply feels more comfortable in a traditionally female behavioral pattern. A person’s presentation, however, does not make them gay or transgender or any other label society wants to put on them. We don’t usually question, for instance, the cisgender straight female who dresses in pants and tshirts. Those presentation-barriers have become far less defined for women. (And yes, this is a longstanding cause of mine, trying to break down those barriers for men.) This book goes into great detail about the differentiation between these three parts of the core identity, and how they are unique and separate from each other.

These are all issues coming more and more to light through social media and news outlets and legislative work. We are far from perfect, both in understanding and in social/legal/medical support. I think books like this can be very helpful in increasing understanding, especially for parents who find themselves unexpectedly confronted with these issues. I’ve only scratched the surface of what’s contained in The Transgender Child.

Posted in 2015, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments