About a year ago, I made the decision to start wearing makeup for the first time pretty much in my entire life. The goal was to try for a month. Then I kept wearing it, and in the summer, signed up for Ipsy as a way of trying out different kinds of products. In the beginning, I loved the program. After the first few months, I grew wary. This month, I canceled my subscription.
Two factors decided me. The first is to do with Ipsy itself. I’m not sure if my stylist just didn’t pay attention to my requests and preferences, or if the company simply doesn’t care what they send you. Either way, I kept ending up with products I’d specifically asked not to receive. For three months in a row, for example, I received eyebrow-related products. All three months, plus in my introductory survey, I said I had no interest in eyebrow stuff. And yet, the products kept coming. Then I started receiving stuff like perfume, to which I’m allergic – something I stated in the introductory survey. Since about October, I haven’t liked the majority of what’s come in my packages. The monthly cost, though small, no longer seems worth it.
Second, and probably more important, are the changes that I’ve gone through myself. When I began wearing makeup a year ago, I was in a place of insecurity and reinvention. I started dressing up as a way to try to make myself feel better, and indeed it was nice when people paid me compliments. But honestly, I’m just not a makeup person. The stuff takes too much time, and the more stable, confident, and secure in myself I am, the less I’m inclined to wear it. I think I may have used makeup maybe twice or three times in 2016 so far. I just don’t care to take the effort.
Most people, I know, would see that as a sign of depression, but for me, it’s the opposite. Depression makes me more likely to act different from my normal self, in an attempt to defeat the depression. If I wanted to dress up but didn’t have the energy, sure, that would be depression. The fact that I never even think about makeup anymore shows that I’ve gotten past that place of insecurity and reinvention. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with my true self again.
I probably won’t stop wearing makeup altogether, but I certainly have no need for a subscription any longer, especially one that ignores my preferences.