I just realized that I haven’t done a monthly wrap-up since May. Oops. Well, the run-down is easy. June mostly consisted of the non-bookish (ie moving across the country). July and August both involved a lot of moving in, arranging the new house (including KonMari stuff), and way too much reading. The end.
Unfortunately, the way-too-much-reading in July/August came to a screeching hanlt in early September. I finished The Girl at Midnight on the 8th and didn’t read a thing for weeks. Finally I finished a graphic novel on the 26th, but in between there, nothing. Definitely a slump, and I doubt it will end any time soon.
Usually, I don’t read a whole lot in the late, super-hot summer months. I enter RIP-season full speed ahead, ripping my way (pun intended) through tons of books in September and October. I crash at the end of October, and read almost nothing in November and December. This works out perfect for me, given that November is NaNoWriMo time and December is focused on Christmas and family. I’m not sure what’s going to happen this year, though, with my whole schedule having shifted back two months! I guess we’ll see.
Still, I didn’t mind my September slump. The supercharged reading of the summer – especially with the addition of dozens of books started and abandoned – left me with a desperate need for a little break from reading. And that little break gave me time to focus on other areas of my life. In being true to myself (rather than catering to the blog, as I’ve done in the past), I’m just trying to go with that natural flow. 🙂
Speaking of other areas of my life, I had a really wonderful experience this week with regards to my body-positivity progress. At the beginning of every month, I take front/back/side photos. Over the last year and a half, I’ve deleted a lot of them because I just felt awful about how much weight I’d gained. I beat myself up over them. When October 1st came around, I considered not taking them at all. My clothes mostly don’t fit well right now, and I didn’t want to beat myself up again. But I knew I’d beat myself up equally if I didn’t take them – even if I deleted them later – so I threw on some clothes, didn’t bother to do my hair or put on makeup, and took one shot of each, not really caring to take several shots to try to pick the “best.”
I looked at the camera previews, just in case one was blurry or something, and was shocked. Yes, I’m fat. Yes, I’m back over 200 lbs for the first time in four years, at a weight I swore to myself that I’d never be at again. But you know what? I don’t look bad – in fact, my thoughts while staring at those previews were, “Damn, that can’t be me. I look good!”
Will I always feel this way? Heh. No. But that morning, I was doing a little dance and celebrating my obese body. Take that, inner-body-critic. Ha!