It’s my birthday today! I’m officially 40 years old, the age I’ve felt since I was something like twelve years old. Heh. Of course, I wish I didn’t wake up at 3:30 with major insomnia on my birthday, but hey. Nothing like starting a new year with a bit of irony, eh?

So let’s wrap up February! It was a pretty good month for me, all things told.

Books
I read six books this month, including two classics that have been on my list for a long time. Most of what I read was fairly good. I must admit, my brain has not really been focused on reading this month, though, and I have a feeling that some of these books will end up fading to the back of my memory. I always choose a favorite for the month, and it’s hard this month because none stand out particularly, so I’m going to choose King of Scars simply because it was nice to revisit characters I already know well.

Movies
My movie-watching has been all over the place this month: Mary Shelley, A Kid Like Jake, Isn’t It Romantic? (in theatre, for Valentine’s Day of course!), and Can You Ever Forgive Me?. All were good in their own ways. I’m down to only two movies on my backlog to watch, and a couple new ones coming out in March that I want to see. (And hey, Alamo Drafthouse gave me a free ticket for my birthday, so yay!) Favorite of the month: A Kid Like Jake.

Health
I was struggling as I came out of January. Yoga didn’t feel good. Walking didn’t feel good. I was tracking all my food and eating well and exercising frequently and nothing was happening. It was all due to inflammation of course, and I felt better shortly while I took steroids, then worse again when I got off them and all the inflammation flared back up. But I have several solid leads on improving the situation – including the anosmia issue, which seems to also be inflammation-related – so keep your fingers crossed for me.

In other news this month, I joined a wellness program that I found through Facebook, and it has been amazing for my mental health and relationship to food. Steph Gaudreau, who runs the program, basically spoke my own language. As I read about the pillars of her Core 4 Program, I knew it was exactly what I needed – a program focused on balance and whole-self wellness and bio-individuality. Despite the expense, I signed up, and from day 1, the program kicked me in the gut in all the right ways. I had to skip some sections of the program (particularly the strength training, because of inflammation) but the rest has been amazing and helped me to start making peace with my body.

As for exercise and weight and all that jazz, I exercised on 22 days this month for 18 hours total, including 15 yoga workouts and 33 miles walked/jogged. Clearly I was much more moderate in terms of exercise than last month!! From 1st to 1st, my weight was exactly the same, but mid-February I did hit a number lower than my lowest of 2018, so that made me happy. I know inflammation is a HUGE part of why the scale isn’t budging. Possibly the ONLY part. So I’m not judging the lack of change in any way. I’m doing all the things I can, eating healthy, exercising moderately and regularly, sleeping better (when possible!), etc. Maybe once the doctors and I figure out what’s at the root of my inflammation, my body will change size. But whether or not that happens, I’m judging my months on my efforts to be healthy and fit, and February was awesome for that.

Highlights of February
I had a pretty good month this month! Lots of personal revelations, as well as family milestones.

• our Super Bowl party, which ended up far more fantastic than I expected even though the Patriots won again
• the good effects of my steroid treatment, as well as some indicators of what needs to happen next to keep inflammation down
• seeing (briefly) a number on the scale that I haven’t seen in two years
• hitting 100 days binge-free and alcohol-free (a longtime goal)
• getting together with my longtime friend Nat (we so rarely get to see each other!)
• MORRIGAN GOT THE ROTC SCHOLARSHIP!!!!! This means his tuition, room, board, and books are paid for all four years, plus he gets a monthly stipend. We are relieved and excited for him. He chose to celebrate by going to Cold Stone.
• Morrigan also got his license finally!
• coming to peace with my body and figuring out what next steps I want to take in my life

Coming up in March
Besides lots and lots of birthday stuff? Well…more birthday stuff, because our family has soooo many March birthdays: mine, my stepmom’s, my brother-in-law’s, Laurence’s, both of Jason’s parents… There’s also spring break in March (always around Laurence’s birthday), and I see the allergist soon (fingers crossed this is helpful), and I guess we’ll see where things go from there!