Um. Remember how I signed up for Bout of Books? Well, just like the last half-dozen readathons I’ve signed up for, it didn’t work out. Yeah…
Here’s the thing. It used to be that when I signed up for a readathon, it was for the event itself, not for the reading. I went in excited to be reading with other people. It was not for reading down my piles of books, or for accomplishing anything except being social with fellow booknerds from around the world. Nowadays, though, I tend to sign up for readathons when I have a big pile of books that I want to get through. Only then, I can’t wait until the readathon to get to those books, and I read them all (or start-and-abandon them) before the event begins. Then I’m left with a reading hangover, so I don’t want to read at all, and no books to read anyway.
That’s exactly what happened this time, too. I ordered several dozen books from the library, and instead of letting them sit on my desk for the next few weeks, I started picking them up. Reading a bit further than I had during my Nook previews. Realizing (for the most part) that after a chapter or two, I’d lost interest. I significantly reduced my TBR pile over the last few weeks (by a third! and half of what’s left isn’t published yet!), all while reading far fewer books than expected.
Honestly, I don’t mind. I missed out on the event itself, yes, but still got what I wanted from it: a chance to read-read-read until I was ready to simply stop for awhile. This is what laissez-faire book-blogging is all about, people! I love it. My way is good enough for me. Ha! And I imagine that if I ever manage to not fail at a readathon again, it’ll be because I get the urge to participate on the day itself, and not when signups begin!!
Now it’s time to curl up with my coffee and a movie, or TV show, or something that doesn’t involve books. 😀
On a more serious note, the way I’ve been reading/reviewing this month is troublesome. I have several coping mechanisms when I’m super stressed, and binge reading is one of them. (Better than binge eating, yeah? Though that’s one of the other coping techniques, sigh.) I am far enough along my emotional wellness journey to recognize that when I read a dozen books in two weeks plus the beginnings of several dozen more, I am not mentally healthy. I don’t like reading at this speed, or having a ton of backlogged reviews, or posting every day of the week. It reminds me too much of the very sad life I was living in 2010, when I was reading over 200 books per year.
The boys begin school tomorrow, and I will be embarking on a new wellness journey (mind, heart, body). The blog is in the process of overhaul. Books will remain a huge part of it, the majority part of it most likely, but I am opening up about other things that are important to me. It is time to strive, once again, for a little more balance in my life.