Moving across the country has really torn me apart. I don’t know anyone here, and I feel very much an outsider. My intentions, long before I actually moved, were to get involved in the NaNo community here come November. After all, NaNo is where I’ve really found my people in the past. Some of my very best friends have come from the NaNo season.
As the season approached, however, I was no longer sure I even wanted to participate. My brain is not in the right place. I have a bare sketch idea for a story to work on, and no real desire to work on it. October – sometimes even September – is normally a time of frenzied outlining, planning, dreaming up scenes. By the time November 1st arrives, I’m like a cork waiting to pop out of a champagne bottle. My ridiculous speed/volume has become a joke in the San Antonio NaNo group. It’s never taken me more than fifteen days to hit the 50k mark, and once it only took six days. I wrote two novels one year because I finished the first so quickly and didn’t want the frenzy to end. Last year, I wrote 141,000+ words in 20 days (that was exhausting!).
This is not because I’m some fantastic writer or anything. All these words are NaNo words – words that are rough and need to be rewritten in a better form later. I use NaNo to create what I call a glorified narrative outline, fleshing out a story that I already have bones for, and then rewriting from scratch later on. It’s like really intense brainstorming, and the reason I go so fast and write so much is because I love love love the collective writing with all of my wonderful Wrimo friends. Wrimos are my people, and they make the event for me. I can’t do it alone. Proof? I’ve tried NaNoing alone in other 30-day months, and I rarely hit the 50k mark, and if I do, it takes ALL month to get there, with painstaking difficulty and no fun at all. It’s the people, the community, that really makes NaNo shine for me.
I am no longer with my people. My Wrimos are 2000 miles away, and I’m depressed, anxious, and brain-scattered. It just…doesn’t seem like fun this year, and I considered not participating at all. But, as I said above, it’s tradition. I’ve been doing this for five years now, and I didn’t want to skip out in Year 6. So I decided on a story, signed up, and dubiously RSVPed for a Meet & Greet that’ll be later this afternoon with over 100 Wrimos from the Boston area. Yikes. I hope I don’t drown in that crowd…
Maybe meeting other writers from this area will help get my excitement up. I still have five days before November 1st. I can build an outline in that time, if I’m really motivated. Maybe this Meet & Greet will make me feel a thousand times better about everything. Maybe. I’m trying to hope.
In the meantime, if you’re a fellow Wrimo and we’re not already writing buddies, look me up! My username is pookasluagh like always. I’d love to journey with you!