The Librarians, by Sherry Thomas (audio)

Posted on January 14, 2026 by Thistle

A series of murders all seem to tie back to a small branch library and their first-ever game night. The four members of staff all have secrets, but are any of them the culprit, or are they all potentially the next victim?

I’m not sure how this book came onto my radar. I’ve read Thomas’ Lady Sherlock series in the past and this sounded new and interesting, so I decided to give it a chance. I was sucked in immediately. This story is fast-paced and told from multiple points of view. Secrets are peeled away slowly. I never had a clue who would end up being revealed at the end of the mystery. The characters were delightful, from the primary narrators to the insane library patrons (that were all too real!).

On the negative side, some of the mystery ended up quite convoluted, especially as so many characters had their backstories wrapped up at the end. I wasn’t particularly sold on the reveal, either. However, I liked the story well enough not to let those things tarnish my experience of the book as a whole.

My last point is on setting. The book takes place in Austin, TX, which is just up the road from where I live. The author is also from the area, and took pains to make the setting an integral part of the book. There is a particular vibe when Texan authors set their fictional books in Texas that I don’t sense when other authors write about their own locations. I’m not sure if it’s just something I recognize more, having lived a big chunk of my life in Texas, or if it’s something about the culture of the state itself. It comes over in an “oh hey btw did I mention this book is in Texas? Look at this neat thing about Texas!” in places, but is that only because I know the area so well? I have lived in other states, and I don’t feel this when those states are written about by local-to-them authors – however, I have never lived anywhere as long as I’ve lived here, so this might entirely be due to familiarity/proximity.

This is not a criticism of the book. Thomas writes Austin exactly as Austin is, and it is very much an in-Austin book. The setting is practically its own character, and I appreciate that. But I’m curious if other people (not from TX) would see it the same way, or if they would see it the way I might see a book set very firmly in Los Angeles, or Savannah, or Provo. Or is this a product of the way Texans view themselves and their state? Because I’ve never read a Texas-set book written by a Texas-local author that didn’t have this quality. I’d love to know how much is me and how much is sociological!

Anyway, tangent aside, I enjoyed the book despite a few of those minor things I mentioned. I was quite annoyed when my spotify audio time ran out halfway through the book and I had to wait a whole two days (ha!) before I could continue. The narrator (Louisa Zhu) did a great job with the narration, and I spent hours finding reasons to listen even when I should have been doing other things.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Last Decade in Writing

Posted on January 12, 2026 by Thistle

In August 2023, I left this blog after a series of things happened very rapidly. I watched the second season of Good Omens and became hyperfixated. While I said on the blog that I was obsessed, I didn’t adequately describe the extent of said hyperfixation, mostly because I didn’t yet understand what it meant for me. And to make sense of this, I need to go all the way back to 2014-2015, the year I lived in Boston.

While I won’t go into details, that year was extremely traumatic for me. I spent years afterwards dealing with health issues, deferred grief, and learning to fold myself into a specific shape in order to survive. As part of that process, I stopped writing. I’ve written fiction my whole life, and I loved doing it, even if I hadn’t managed to actually get more than a handful of short stories published. And suddenly, after that year in Boston, I couldn’t write anymore. I managed to finish the second draft of the WIP I was in, finishing in the summer of 2016, but after that, nothing. No matter how many times I sat down to write, no matter how many nights I went to bed planning the things that needed to happen next in various WIPs, no matter how much yearning I did, the words wouldn’t come. It took years, but eventually, I stopped believing that I would ever write again. This was just another thing I had to come to accept.

Continue reading →

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Travels of 2024

Posted on January 9, 2026 by Thistle

In 2024, I had a number of planned trips, and a number of spontaneous(ish) trips. While I was originally going to write about them all individually, I’ve decided to wrap them all up in one post. This’ll be long…

Northeast Birthday Bash
These trips began, as they will end, with a birthday. Two birthdays, in this particular case: mine and Josh’s. I met Josh on the Mediterranean cruise from 2023, and we discovered that our birthdays are only a few days apart. He and I, along with two other friends from the cruise (David and Brandi), all went up to Josh’s place in Rhode Island. We ventured together down to NYC for a few days and some memorable moments, including a birthday burlesque brunch (with bottomless mimosas for three hours – we were sooooo drunk that day) and seeing The Book of Mormon on Broadway!

Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Unmaking Autism, by Devon Price (audio)

Posted on January 7, 2026 by Thistle

I don’t really have adequate words to describe this book. It’s about neurodiversity, the masks we wear as neurodiverse people, the way we are viewed/treated in society, and the things we can do to help ourselves in advocacy, authenticity, and self-care. It’s written and read by an autistic trans person with his own experience of unmasking in many different parts of life, and I think that’s what makes this book so authentic and real.

It wasn’t until my 40s that I came to understand that I was autistic. Because I communicate easily, enjoy social connections, and am sensory-seeking, I thought I couldn’t be neurospicy. Some years back, I began reading a romance series focused on autistic protagonists, and while said protagonists carried many of the symptoms often associated with media-typical autism, there was more to them as individuals. The author left notes about autism, especially about the way autism presents in AFAB individuals. It got me thinking hard about the subject, and though I dismissed the idea for awhile afterwards, I never forgot. Hearing about other autistics’ experiences, especially about communication patterns, helped me to understand better the truth. And as soon as I realized and accepted my own neurodiversity, so many things began to slot into place.

So much about Unmasking Autism made me feel very seen. I didn’t resonate with all the parts, because every individual’s experience is different. And because I’ve spent quite a number of years now analyzing my own behavior, traits, tendencies, and speech patterns, I didn’t learn a lot that I don’t already know. However, that’s not saying the read wasn’t worth it. Like I said, I felt very seen, very understood, and I’ve long believed that one of the fundamental joys of humanity is feeling connected with others on that deep level. For neurospicy folks, we often find ourselves on the outside looking in… until we find others like us. Learning and confirming and knowing there are others who communicate and exist the same as you? That’s priceless.

This was also a difficult read at times. Price addresses the realities of living in a world where so many of us are forced to mask, and where we believe we are inherently broken or wrong or incapable of being as good as. A few times, I had to stop the audiobook because a story was deeply unsettling in how exactly it mirrored a traumatic personal experience. Other times, I had to stop simply to give myself time to digest something I hadn’t considered, to do the unknotting inside me that related to the new information. But any difficulties were worth pushing through, and giving myself space/time to process. Normally, I struggle with reading a book for longer than three weeks – I get this urge to finish and then binge my way through the rest – but I let this one go as slow as I needed for it to be useful, rather than just finished.

I couldn’t say if this is a book that would help neurotypical people understand those of us on the neurospicy side. But if you’ve ever wondered if you might be on the spicy spectrum yourself, I think this is a really, really good resource. If you already know you’re one of us and struggle with unmasking, balancing safety and authenticity, learning to self-advocate, finding support communities and personal communities, and so much more – this book can help. Two thumbs up. I’d give five if I had the thumbs for it.

Performance: This audiobook was read by the author. Usually, I avoid books read by the author, but Price is a lecturer and I was told by another listener that his narration was great. And they were right – it’s a phenomenal performance that I was very engaged with the whole time. Again, no clue how the narration might come off to neurotypical folks – I only recently learned about the concept of “autism voice” and it took me ages to realize that autism voice sound perfectly normal to me because I also have it. Heh. So maybe Price does too. In any case, I thought he did great. And I’m looking forward to reading some of his later books on autism as he continues what appears to be a series of nonfiction works on the topic.

Posted in 2026, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Tattoo Tour: 9-15

Posted on January 5, 2026 by Thistle

I had really good intentions with this series to do individual posts for each tattoo, but it turns out my blog time is limited, so I’m going to wrap up all of 2024’s tattoos in one! This doesn’t include the witchy cat which began in 2023 but finished in 2024, and which I’ve already written about.

– Collarbones (9)
When I finished my first fanfic – the first novel I’d written at all in over nine years – I decided that I needed a reward. I chose to get my collarbones tattooed. Serenity was an artist I’d followed for a long time, and I’d wanted to get her art on my body for ages. She requires total creative freedom, and I sent her my ideas and examples (mostly from her own art). I was not disappointed. I asked for wings, almost identical but not quite, paired together to create a heart. She included a section that almost looks like a fountain pen as the two halves come together. Additionally, this tattoo barely hurt and healed super easily, which cemented in my mind how wonderful Serenity is!

– Left Ankle Vines (10)
I had this whimsical idea of getting vine/spiderwebs on my ankle, and sent it to Serenity for tattooing my outside left ankle (the one that’s problematic). This one hurt, and it’s faded a bit (probably because it had some problems healing because of the second skin, which I didn’t know yet I was allergic to), so I need to touch it up but haven’t. I did this one as a way to eventually lead into a full calf/shin sleeve.

– Butterfly (11)
In the summer of 2024, one of my tattoo artists (Devony, who did my witchy cat) did a fundraiser for a friend. I chose to get this butterfly tattooed on my right forearm. This particular tattoo was extremely painful, and I had a major allergic reaction during the healing process. This was the beginning of me learning about the second skin allergy. (I’m not allergic to adhesives, generally. It seems I’m allergic though when the adhesive gets into an open wound. Might also be generally inflammatory reaction from autoimmune disorders, though.) I don’t think I have the photos from the swelling and such anymore, but I can say that it scared me. For quite some time, I thought I was allergic to the color ink rather than the second skin, especially when the touchups on this butterfly (mostly just the white dots) caused a major reaction on the whole tattoo…

– Snek (14)
My friend Stephanie had discovered a new woman-owned, cat-centric tattoo parlor that had Flash Fridays most weeks. We went on a Friday the 13th to get some flash together. I discovered this ridiculously derpy snek, asked to add some color, and enjoyed adding it to my spoopy leg. I really wanted to get the work SNEK written above it, but that would have required an appointment, so instead, I have this red-bellied little guy. (Mini-note: I got the color, which was extra, specifically to test the ink. Before this, I’d only gotten the colored ink from one tattoo artist, who uses a special brand. I figured I’d see if I reacted to this. Ended up being pointless because the second skin began leaking within two hours.)

– Gaysychain (13)
Stephanie and I took a cruise together in October 2024. There was an artist from Newcastle (UK) on the trip, and we both got tattoos from her. Mine was rainbow-colored daisy chain, aka a gaysychain. This was a joke related to one of my fanfics, where a queer man used the avatar “Dandylion” on dating apps and was mis-remembered by another character as “Gaysychain” (because Dandylion’s profile picture was of a cat with a daisy chain crown). The number of compliments that I’ve gotten to this day on my gaysychain make this totally worth it. People say “Oh I love this” and I can say “It’s my gaysychain” and if they’re confused, I can explain that it’s a daisy chain, except gay, and then viola! They understand! Heh. This might be my favorite tattoo ever.

– Atticus (15)
I scheduled this tattoo with my artist Serenity in the summer of 2024. A few weeks before I was meant to come in, poor Atticus had to cross the rainbow bridge due to aggressive cancer. I don’t think I’ve talked about this on the blog. It was horrific. Atticus was my little asshole. He never learned how to properly play with the other cats, and was far too aggressive with them, but he also loved to cuddle (both felines and humans) and didn’t choose favorites. He was only 6-7 years old (we’re not 100% sure), but he suddenly developed a huge lump on his neck. It hadn’t been there the previous day. I thought it was an abscess (he’d had tooth surgery in the past) but biopsy showed cancer. In less than two weeks, he couldn’t close his mouth or eat/swallow even with pain meds. We scheduled for him to be put down, and were afraid that he wouldn’t be able to breathe before he got to that appointment. I was not even slightly prepared for what I saw during the Crossing, and it pains me to think of it even now, more than a year afterwards.

Going back to the tattoo: Two years ago, I got a larger piece on my back that included frames for each of the cats I’ve had in adulthood. Each is meant to be done by a different artist, with the tips of each frame to go rainbow when said cat passes away. Serenity, who normally only works with black ink, was happy to add the rainbow tips to my tattoo. She worked with a photo of Atticus, along with my description of him being a cinnamon-bun swirl cat who was an incompetent asshole and an indiscriminate sweetheart, and turned him into the best tattoo I’ve ever seen. (Why yes, that IS a cinnamon roll cat with a squinty eye holding a knife…)

– Baby Mirror (16)
My last tattoo of 2024 is pretty insignificant. Stephanie, my youngest daughter Eve, and I went back to the place mentioned above with all the Flash tattoos. I picked out this tiny cracked mirror to put on my thigh as a way to remind myself: Fuck beauty standards. Nothing deeper than that.

And that’s my tattoo tour for 2024! I have five more to talk about from 2025, but that’ll be a different post.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Happy New Year! Happy 2026!

Posted on January 1, 2026 by Thistle

To each and every one of you: May this year bring lovely thing and great happiness and escaping the things that no longer serve us. As our ineffable duo say: To the world! 💕

Posted in Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

2025 in Books

Posted on December 31, 2025 by Thistle

It’s generally been a good year in books for me! I read 80 total (31 tradpubbed, 49 fanfiction (over 10K)), with two rereads (one of each) plus a third that is technically a graphic novel adaptation of a book I’ve read. Here are a few stats:

Book Type: 79 fiction – 1 nonfiction
Fiction Type: 34 speculative – 45 realistic
Media: 52 text – 25 audio – 2 visual
Audience: 76 adult – 4 YA

New to me authors: 43
Most read author(s): Create_Serenity – This was actually a hard one to determine this year because I read a lot of shorter works that didn’t get included in this list, and I have a couple authors that I love and read many times with these shorter fics. But of the ones officially listed, Create_Serenity had three.

Shortest / Longest books: Evocation (301 pgs) / Dark Inspiration (415 pgs)
Shortest / Longest fanfics: Stray Souls (11k) / Married at First Sight (147k)
Shortest / Longest audios: A Thief in the Night (2:45) / Wind and Truth (62:48)

Total pages read: 2,011
Total fanfic words read: 2,768k
Total audio listened to: 339:56

Best bookish experience: The Ineffable Con! TIC was brilliant and I can’t wait to write about it in more detail. In the meantime, three days of 100+ folks all in the neurospicy, queer-ish, gender-whatever category, running around in cosplay? It was heaven!

Best book-related discovery: This year’s discovery is a specific artist, Ruby Gold, who I met in the days leading up to TIC. Rainstorm, Ruby, Ruby’s friend Jo, and I hung out at a lot of the pre-events together, and Ruby’s art is incredible. They also loved the idea of the novel I was then working on, and we decided to collaborate. They’ve drawn the most amazing work for it already and some of the first chapters are online. Not only is Ruby a great artist, but it turns out we seem to be the same person in a lot of ways, and they are fast becoming a really great friend!

Best Reads of 2025

In years past, I’ve highlighted not only my favorites, but best in several categories like “most fun to read” and “best setting” etc. This year, I’m just going to talk about my favorite overall. These are in the order that I read them, because I can’t really stratify them any better than that.

1) in the house we remain by commodorecliche: I’ve rarely seen the “opposite sides” theme adapted into an AU as well as this one. It was heart-wrenching and beautiful.

2) You’re the Bad Guys by Nebz_AlphaCentauri: I read most of this in 2024 but the last few chapters posted this year. Cold war era spy AU with scenes that just blew me away. I was really excited to visit a few places the author talked about from Berlin this year!

3) I’ll Have What He’s Having by Adib Khorram (audio): This is the only tradpubbed book to make it into my faves. It’s such a good read! The follow-up was also good, and I’m looking forward to more by this author.

4) Social organization and adaptability in Xenoerpeton anthropoides: transference of social bonding habits and mate selection by Liquid_Lyrium: This is not a story I ever thought I’d read, or a genre I ever thought I’d enjoy, but it is so, so, so well-written and I can see why fandom folks became obsessed with it to the point of cosplaying merlotls…

5) You’ve Got Kudos! by ClassicHazel & Rhaegal: This book about Ineffable Con was written by the founders of Ineffable Con and is meta in so many ways. Absolutely adored this!

6) Sweeter Than Fiction by IneffableRainstorm: It feels weird to put a book by my partner, that I beta-ed, and was heavily involved in the brainstorming process for, on my favorites, but STF is still one of my favorite stories to exist. Romcom perfection!

Honorable Mention: Give a Man a Mask by Ventriloki: This isn’t on my official book list of the year, which is why it gets an honorable mention. It’s too short to go on the official list, but is one of the best short stories I’ve ever read in the fandom. The author’s prose is magnificent and the tension and setup are brilliant.

Honorable Mention: The Last Snow on Vörösmarty Tér by Bohoteacher: Again, not on the official list so it can’t be an official favorite, purely because this is under 10k. But it deserves to be here. I’ve never seen anything like this in fanfic. It’s an atmospheric fairytale told from the pov of the Christmas market, in first person. I so rarely come across books where the atmosphere itself is a primary element, and they are my very favorite. I went absolutely feral on Boho on Discord after I began reading this (thankfully, they were grateful for my feralness, and not put off, hahaha…)

Posted in Book Talk | Tagged | Leave a comment

Dec 2025 TradPub Mini Reviews

Posted on December 31, 2025 by Thistle

I was hoping to finish a sixth book before the end of the day, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, so without further ado, here are my tradpubbed books of December this year!

A Gargoyle’s Guide to Murder by Gigi Pandian (audio, read by Julia Motyka)
As this is the ninth book in this series, I don’t have much more to say that I haven’t already said in previous reviews. I adore this cozy little fantasy mystery series. This particular book takes place in the UK, and it was nice to visit a few spots that I’ve been to IRL!

A Thief in the Night by KJ Charles (audio, read by James Joseph and Ryan Laughton)
This was a free-on-sale novella, a historical gay romance between a man who just became an earl (with an inheritance that amounts to a rundown mansion full of a hoarder’s rubbish, obviously no money) and the man who seduced and robbed him as he was heading to said rundown home. It was cute and sweet and delicious, and the narration was enjoyable.

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid (audio, read by Tor Thom)
I don’t have access to the show, so I decided to read the book. And, um… well, let’s just say, this isn’t a gay romance despite what it claims. Oh, sure, the two MCs are two men with all the appropriate bits and acts (which make up roughly 60% of the story, notably, so if you don’t like spice, don’t pick this up), but this isn’t a gay story. It relies heavily on heteronormative tropes, gender roles, stereotypes, timelines, plot lines, and resolutions. It’s not a bad book. It’s just not gay. It’s straight-people romance involving two men. Performance was okay. I didn’t particularly like the Russian accent as if felt a bit too put on, but I’m generally picky about accents so this may just be me.

They Hate Each Other by AM Woody
Oh hey, I actually read a physical book! This is a cute enemies-to-lovers meets fake dating story, toned down for YA. On the one hand, a lot of the backstories of the two narrators, Dylan and Jonah, are carefully crafted to be extremely traumatic, but in a way that would keep the two from understanding that they’re both hiding trauma. Honestly, that part felt a bit contrived. Most of the setup felt contrived, actually. But once we got into the story and the characters had to deal with their issues (and each other), things not a lot better. I actually ended up really enjoying the book, and I appreciated that the author didn’t take the easy way out in any of these spaces.

Every Step She Takes by Alison Cochrun (audio, read by Jeremy Carlisle Parker and Cindy Kay)
Honestly, I’m not sure a book could be more designed for me. A late-in-life lesbian who decides to hike the Camino de Santiago with a group of queer folks, including the woman she accidentally came out to on the plane on the way there. Said woman is running from her bigoted family after they rejected her in her teens when she came out. I mean really, this is perfect, and it remained perfect all the way through. If I hadn’t read it over Christmas while I was in a major depression slump, it might have edged its way last minute into my favorites of 2025. As it stands, I might go back and revisit one day.

Posted in 2025, Adult, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Fanfic Minis – Dec 2025

Posted on December 30, 2025 by Thistle

Haven’t been reading a whole lot in FF this month (despite what the count implies – several of these are ones I forgot from previous months!). But I’ve read a few that were nice. And it’s good to remember the ones I stupidly forgot to write down before.

First: My Longing is Always One by Create_Serenity. Whoops! I actually finished this one in October, but it was on the day I flew to Barcelona, so I missed recording it on the blog. Honestly, I imagine I miss quite a few, especially when they are WIPs and the “finish” is just when the last chapter posts and I’ve been reading the fic for months or even years. This one is lovely to see finished because I was originally the beta for it. I beta-ed the first chapter early on, but by the time the author was ready for later beta-ing, it was very shortly after my divorce stuff started and I didn’t have time to do the work. She understood (she’s lovely, and I got to meet her in person at TIC6!) and I’ve been so happy to see someone else take up the beta and help her get it in shape and online! The author is one of my faves, and this little fic – a canon-adjacent through-the-years segment of a longer series – def has a special place in my heart. I’m sad that I forgot to review it two months ago!

Second: Stress Relief for Angels by Create_Serenity and EybeFioro. Gah! I just discovered another one I missed, this one from early August when I was heading to London. Oops! This is actually a mostly side-character story set in the GO world. It’s very NSFW with NSFW art, and I mostly loved this one for the main character, an OC angel character called Gregory who I later stole to use one of my own fics.

Third: Made in Hell: Matchmaking Agency by Hermiola. My favorite thing about this story is the way the author took one of the canon conflicts (wanting to fix the system from within vs wanting to burn down the whole system and start over) and created a parallel in how the two characters approach relationship anxiety (one who only wants casual because he’s afraid of rejection, one who wants only commitment because he’s afraid of rejection). That doesn’t sound nearly as interesting as Hermiola actually made it, but never mind. It was good!

Fourth: Hereditary Enemies by Another_Freak1258. Look. Just don’t read this, don’t even think about it, unless you’ve been part of the fanfic community (ANY fanfic community) for enough time that nothing in fiction surprises you. And by “anything,” I mean you aren’t bothered by, say, multi-species coitus. Just… this isn’t for you. For me? Sure. This was quite a cute story, very fun, delightfully humorous in all the best ways. Two years ago? I would’ve been baffled.

Fifth: Ineffable Advent Calendar by whatkeepsusalive. This was a collection of 24 fluffy mini-stories about Christmas and our ineffable duo. I had a few favorites along the way, but these were, for the most part, consistently delightful and a big change of pace from what I’ve been reading generally. (In fanfic and otherwise.)

Posted in 2025, Adult, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

2025 in Review

Posted on December 29, 2025 by Thistle

You know, when I started trying to blog again in January, I didn’t realize I would be going through an insanely pivotal year of many changes that would make it nearly impossible to keep up. Hm… Well, I guess here’s a recap?

Goals / Bucket List
I crossed out a few items from my never-ending, always shifting bucket list this year: trying a Viennetta (it was okay), climbing on a climbing wall (addictive and I want to do this again asap! It’s just expensive in the US), going through the Chunnel (actually kinda boring, but hey, it’s done!), karaoke (kinda, with some friends in a private room, not sure if it counts?). In my 2025 goals, I completed all of my big travel goals but no extras, all of my writing goals and extras, all the tattoos I had planned plus a small extra one, 50% of my art goals, and a big chunk of my misc goals. Not quite all, but goal-wise, it was a pretty good year. Which is insane, given the circumstances.

Travel
I had four trips planned for the year, which thankfully worked out despite circumstances. In February, I went to Germany to visit my partner Rainstorm. It was the first time we’d met in person since we started dating, and was a very lovely and memorable week. In April, the two of us met in Barcelona for a week. That was an insane trip. It only happened because I had airline credit to use up and it was their birthday week. Then I got food poisoning. On their birthday. You learn very quickly how close you are when you have food poisoning while sharing a hotel room… Not to mention that my soon-to-be ex-husband decided to announce – on the ride home from the airport, after I’d been flying for 24 hours and was super jet-lagged – that he was filing for divorce, had frozen our credit cards, and taken a big chunk of the money in our accounts. Fun? Anyway, that was Travel #2. Then I spent two months in Germany/London this summer, including some amazing side trips while there: Pride in both Cologne and Berlin, The IneffableCon, afternoon tea that Ritz… And lastly, I flew to Barcelona for a reunion transatlantic cruise with the folks I met in 2023. It was brilliant and exhausting and I loved every second of it. Throughout the year, I got to meet multiple friends in person for the first time, in Spain, Germany, the Netherlands, and the UK. Very little about travel fell into the negative category for 2025, so that’s good!

Romance / Divorce
Rainstorm and I have now been dating for almost 14 months. We lived together for two months this summer and I cannot wait until I see them again. It has been really freeing to realize and admit that I was never actually bi/pan, but a lesbian stuck in comphet. I feel safe with another person for the first time in decades.

Meanwhile, I’m in the middle of a contentious divorce. Divorce is shitty, especially when it involves unpacking a lot of baggage that you hid from for a long time, and when you discover a number of things that were being done to you behind the scenes. I can’t say much about it, what with legalities going on, but I want to address something that people probably wonder about (which is why I put these two subjects under the same heading). There was no cheating on my part in this divorce. I’m not going to address J’s side because I can only speak about my own actions for legal reasons. But long before I began dating anyone, J and I designated our marriage as a platonic life partnership. After that, we were both free to date. It took me quite some time before I was ready to do so, but once I did, it was never a secret. I have never hidden my actions from J, our kids, or anyone else. Rainstorm and I have been open and honest about our relationship from the start.

Tattoos / Hair
My hair went through quite the journey this year, from pink to purple to blue to campfire sunset to blond to the colors of a lesbian flag to the boring brown-red that it is now because I’m looking for a job. When I cut it in 2023, I didn’t expect it to stay short, but I love it this way. I’m finally embracing a more nonbinary, queer look, and this is part of it. In tattoos, I’ve acquired five this year. There was 1) the matching Good-Omens-coded ghosts with Rainstorm in February; 2) the linked tattoos with my friend Stephanie in later February (a raccoon (her) and possum (me) in the poses of The Creation of Adam); 3) the broken mirror Eight of Swords tarot tattoo on my thigh; 4) the portrait for my cat Gherkin, and 5) the portrait of my late cat Christabel. Eventually, I’ll write more on tattoos, but this made up tattoos 16-20.

Health
Not much to say on this for 2025. Turns out that when I no longer had to live with J, I started losing weight pretty slowly and steadily – less stress! Then during the two months in Europe, I lost like 15 lbs without trying because of better food quality. Then I gained some of it back after I came back to Texas and felt sick and in pain all the time again. Of course. Whatever. I’m looking forward to being in Europe full time.

Writing
When I went into 2025, I was midway through two novels. Since then, I’ve finished both of those novels, written another, plus I’ve written multiple short stories. Altogether, I wote somewhere between 170k and 175k, which to put in standard book terms is about 350-ish pages. Not bad for a year that had a lot of travel and upheaval! Recently, one of my longer short stories was turned into a podfic, which is amazing. And in the upcoming year, I hope to return to some original fiction.

Education / Career
There has been almost no movement on anything resembling a career. The job market is so, so, so saturated right now, and with twenty years of “homemaker/parent” on my resume and no degree, I’m basically fucked. In other words, I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs, heard back from less than a dozen of them, and haven’t made it far enough into the process even to get an interview. Sigh. In the meantime, I’ve been focusing a lot of my time on learning German. The more I can learn before I move and try to get a language-learning visa, the further I can get in the year-long language course. That will help prepare me better for school or an apprenticeship. Hopefully, after I move, I’ll never need to come back to the US again!

Things I’ve missed out on this year
There are a few things that I neglected this year. The first is art. I did some artwork, sure, but very little compared to previous years. I just didn’t have time. The same re: photography. Cameras are bulky and often on my travel, I found myself just using my phone. So I want to correct both things in the new year.

That is a very sloppy wrap-up, but it’s gonna have to do. I’m not even going to go back to reread for edits and typos. It’s just gonna have to be enough. Some of those things above, I might talk more about in later posts (especially travel and tattoos) but for now, that’s what I’ve got left in the tank after an entire week of multiple holiday celebrations. Happy holidays to you all! (You know, the five of you reading this, hahahaha)

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments