Sunday Coffee – A Dangerous Place

Posted on March 12, 2023 by Thistle

When my family moved to Boston in 2014, we had no idea that it would only stick for a year and we’d be back in San Antonio the next summer. At the time, I removed myself from all of my San Antonio things, like library hold lists, in preparation to fully integrate in Boston. One of the things I removed was my Wowbrary feeds for the library system in SA, because I didn’t need to know what books they were acquiring in San Antonio if I lived in Boston. The library system up north didn’t have a Wowbrary feed system, so I couldn’t subscribe to it. It took until a visit to SA in December that year to realize the full impact of this combination of factors.

While browsing around a bookstore during my visit, I noticed so many books I’d never heard of before. Somehow in a few short months, I’d gone from being fairly up to date in the book market world (in genres I followed) to knowing just about nothing. Book blogging was already mostly dormant by late 2014, so I no longer heard about new-to-me books through that avenue, and I hadn’t realized just how much Wowbrary acquisitions were keeping me up to date with new releases. At that point, even though I didn’t live in SA, I re-subscribed to my Wowbrary feeds purely for the book knowledge. I’ve never since unsubscribed, even when I went to live in Wisconsin for a year (not knowing, again, that it would only been a year).

A few years back, either the Wowbrary feed, or the way my feedreader interprets the feed, changed. It used to be a photo of the book with title, author, and the first few sentences of the book blurb. Now, the photo is gone. You don’t realize just how much you rely on visual cues in marketing until they’re no longer available! I still subscribe to the Wowbrary feeds, but now I’m basically skimming title and author, and not learning anything about the book. You need some indicator of what to look at, because reading a wall of text about 200+ books every week is just too much. I miss those visual cues, and clearly I miss a lot of what’s coming out in the book world, if the last few weeks have been any indicator.

***Nowhere Bookshop has entered the chat.***

We’ve had one indie bookshop in SA for years, and honestly, it was the stuffiest, least-stocked, snobbiest shop I’d ever been to. They mostly stocked Texas-based nonfiction, with a single shelf or two dedicated to **cue sarcasm** more popular fiction for the lowbrow folks who might want something crass like that. I found out last fall that a new indie bookshop had opened (in 2021 – I only heard about it last fall), but it wasn’t until the last weekend in February that I finally made the trip to check it out. Unlike the other place, it was a booknerd’s dream. Or nightmare, perhaps, as it will add dozens if not hundreds of books to your TBR pile and possibly steal more than you have in your wallet. Ha! The shop is incredible, and the few times I’ve been down there now, I’ve come to realize the exact same thing I realized back in December 2014: I’m so very far out of it when it comes to knowing what’s new in the book world.

Y’all. I have lived by the creed of not buying books that I haven’t read for well over a decade now. That’s what the library is for! But Nowhere Bookshop is dangerous. The first time I went there, I ended up buying three books, including one chosen purely from descriptors, not even knowing the title or genre or market age. (Plus stickers, a pin, and a mug, but let’s not dwell on my dwindling monetary reserves, okay?) Additionally, I added three books to my investigate list, to check out from the library. A few days later, their Insta feed released the names and descriptions for the several dozen Blind Date books they had for February, and from that list, I added nine more books to my TBR/investigate pile. Then I went out there again, and ended up coming home with three more books, two that I bought and one that was a gift, plus two more virtual TBR/investigate books. (And a Golden Girls magnet for my dishwasher. No judgement, ha!)

In less than a week, Nowhere Bookshop added 20 books to my TBR pile. And that was me being very, very cautious and controlled about the virtual portion (taking pics of books to check out). It takes me back to my early years of book blogging, where I just started acquiring physical and virtual TBR piles until the total number was teetering near 400 and I started to panic. Literally, I’ve worked to keep my TBR pile under 30 since spring 2011, when I finally culled that 400 down to zero. Under 30, including future releases…and I added 20 more books to it in under a week. Oh boy. Like I said, this shop is DANGEROUS.

However, like in those early days of book blogging, I don’t feel pressured by these books or those lists. I’m looking at this pile of books to read and I feel excited like I haven’t felt in a long time. Eventually, I’m sure part of me will raise the white flag and say stop, please, I can’t take anymore. I’ll order dozens of books from the library and use that to cull the list to a more manageable level. At the same time, ever since Wowbrary eliminated the photo-portion, my TBR has been rather meagre, and other than future-releases, often kinda uninspiring. I think that’s why I’ve had such terrible reading slumps for the last few years. Now, I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but at least I have more selection in what I consume. Dangerous or not, I see myself spending a lot of time in the future at Nowhere.

(Though maybe I should space those visits out, for my wallet if nothing else. Heh.)

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The Spite House, by Johnny Compton

Posted on March 10, 2023 by Thistle

Eric and his two daughters are on the run. From what? We don’t know. All we know is that they need safety and off-the-books money, and they think they’ve found that by applying to become caretakers of a supposedly-haunted house in the Texas hill country. The eccentric old lady employing Eric for this task is holding back crucial information, though, and combined with the secrets Eric’s family are keeping, the house might be more dangerous than any of them realize.

On paper, this book seemed to be everything I could want in a book: a gothic supernatural thriller about a haunted house, laced with deeper thematic elements. Unfortunately, the description was a bit off the mark. I mean, yeah, it was a supernatural book about a haunted house with deeper themes, but the atmospheric tone that really makes a good gothic tale was completely missing, and the book was far more literary than thriller. The literary pace and writing kept it from creeping into true horror, despite horrific things happening.

There was just something off about the book. It seemed to be written out of order, because we would get names or (fictional) historical references casually mentioned before the person mentioning them had learned about them. Some of the past mysteries – like why the spite house was built, and what Eric’s family was running from – were dragged out way too long. There’s a fine line between teasing readers and annoying them, and for me at least, this crossed that line. Finally, about 150 pages in, the book started to pick up the pace. The story got really interesting, the supernatural bits started to really show how crazy they were, and the writing tightened and streamlined. Unfortunately, past the climax, the story just kind of dwindled into an ambiguous disappointment with no real answers or conclusions.

Looking back, it felt to me like the author had three sources of focus and couldn’t decide which was the most important – Eric’s narrative, Eunice’s family curse, and the spite house’s history. The book started with Eric, and even though it technically ended with him, it really ended with the house. I’m not sure if that was intentional – a literary metaphor for the house’s all-consuming hunger – but if it was, the metaphor was too subtle. Instead, the book felt like it veered off course and didn’t really have any answers, so it gave a half-hearted semi-explanation that let the reader fill in their own conclusions. With no building blocks on which to build those conclusions.

I appreciate ambiguity and metaphor in literature and classics, and I love when genre fiction brings in more literary elements to give depth to a story. What I’m less appreciative of is a book that waffles between literary and genre, or one that uses genre elements primarily as a marketing tool for a book that may get passed over otherwise. Others may feel differently, and enjoy the literary feel to this, a refreshing take on horror not so bogged down in genre tropes. Every reader has different viewpoints. I’m just sad this one didn’t work for me.

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A Bloggers’ Night Out

Posted on March 8, 2023 by Thistle

It’s been almost six years since I last got to meet up with a blogger friend. I mean, to be fair, I’ve hardly traveled at all since that meetup in autumn 2018. There was a trip to Wisconsin in the summer of 2020, but that was to to a rural area to stay with my in-laws and avoid the first big flare-up of the pandemic in San Antonio. Then there was Jason’s and my roadtrip through Texas and New Mexico in Sept/Oct 2021. But that’s it, that’s all the travel beyond day-trips to nearby cities and parks, that I’ve done in the last 5.5 years. The pandemic also prevented a lot of other folks from traveling for a few years. So it’s no wonder it’s been so long!

Obviously, I was delighted when Jeanne from Necromany Never Pays wrote to tell me she was heading to San Antonio for a vacation with a few friends. We planned an evening to have dinner and drinks, and just hang out for a bit. Jason and I took a Lyft downtown to the restaurant on the Riverwalk, and like it is with so many bloggers, it was as if we’d been IRL friends forever. No awkwardness, no stilted conversation, just a lot of laughter and storytelling and comfortable friendliness. This is one of my favorite things about the book blogging world!

(maybe one day I’ll get better at taking selfies…ha!)

I can’t remember exactly when Jeanne and I met. I’d guess sometime in 2009, if not late 2008, so very early in my blog days. We almost always have exact opposite tastes in books (and weather, for that matter, ha!), with just a small cross-section of books that hit us the same. And I mean opposite – we can practically use each other’s dislike-list as a TBR pile! It has made for some fun discussions over the years. It also highlights just how diverse the book world can range in terms of our preferences, and yet how often our temperaments complement each other.

The entire evening was delightful. Jeanne’s friends were as fab as she is, and just as easy to talk to. I got some really fun photos of the three of them outside the restaurant, but didn’t ask permission to post them online, so I won’t. I do wish we’d managed to get a picture of our whole table, but the restaurant was busy and our waiter had already given us so much attention, and the way things were set up, it would’ve been impossible to selfie all five of us. Oh well! [On another note, shout out to the restaurant, Boudro’s, for their care and attention, especially to food allergies!! It was not a restaurant I would have chosen on my own, but I would definitely go back. Top tier service and very delicious food and drinks.]

Once it was time for us to say goodnight, Jason and I walked up from downtown to the Pearl district, staying along the river. What I expected to be a mile, maybe 1.25 miles, was actually 2.5 miles, heh, but it was a nice walk. The weather was perfect, cooling as the sun died away, with far less humidity than I expected being next to slow-flowing water. It was dark by the time we reached the Pearl and got our next Lyft home.

We couldn’t have asked for a better night. I’m so happy Jeanne reached out!

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Little White Lies, by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Posted on March 6, 2023 by Thistle

I don’t usually buy books that I haven’t already read except under very specific circumstances (like knowing the author and their books very well). I’ve made an exception to that rule a few times over the last three years for Book of the Month, but for the most part, buying unknown books is strictly a nope. That’s what libraries are for! That’s also what makes this particularly book unusual.

Not only was this an unknown-to-me novel, it was an unknown novel, period. This was a Blind Date With a Book selection at Nowhere Bookshop, and the only descriptors I had was in the following list: fish out of water; dangerous debutants; uncovered secrets; paternity search; southern charm. I haven’t included a description of the book in this review because that list of descriptors already sums the book up perfectly.

I’ll admit, I was surprised and a little concerned when I opened the wrapping on my Blind Date. Little White Lies is WAY outside my comfort zone. From the list, I knew it wouldn’t be exactly my typical book, but my impression from the cover and book jacket wasn’t the best. Of course, I knew when I chose it blindly that there was always the possibility that my money would be going to waste, that I would read a few pages and cull. But hey, you have to give it a chance, right?

And it turned out that this book is exactly what I needed! I was hooked immediately and sped through all almost-400 pages in two days. It was silly, and a bit unrealistic, and especially thick on the bless-your-heart stereotypes, and I loved every page of it. You can’t ask for a better experience than that. Someone at Nowhere has some good picking prowess!

While this book is mostly standalone, there are a few little hints and fallouts that need to be wrapped up. The sequel is called Deadly Little Scandals, and it looks to be the only follow-up. I will happily grab that one from the library and read it in the near future. Hopefully it lives up to the first!

Posted in 2023, Prose, Young Adult | Tagged | 1 Comment

Sunday Coffee – Birthday Stuff

Posted on March 5, 2023 by Thistle

This year’s birthday had the potential to be a rough one. Not a particularly significant birthday; fell smack in the middle of the week during a week when Jason couldn’t take off because his team was up against a deadline; and my first birthday with none of my kids home. So I was feeling particularly vulnerable as the day approached, and Jason decided to spread my birthday throughout the week.

It started Saturday morning, with a trip to Nowhere Bookshop. Nowhere is a local indie bookshop founded by author Jenny Lawson. I’d been told I needed to go there for ages, but hadn’t managed to make it there yet. So that’s what we did Saturday morning, and I fell absolutely in love with this bookstore. We have one other indie bookstore in San Antonio, but it’s horrible. I’ve tried to go there a few times over the last couple decades and it never gets any better. Nowhere was brilliant. Of course, I overspent, coming home with 1) three books, including an unknown blind-date-with-a-book book; 2) a pin for my hiking bag; 3) more stickers than I should have brought home; 4) several book recommendations to check out from my library; and 5) the above-pictured coffee mug. I can already tell this is a place I want to hang out often. It will likely be detrimental to my wallet and my longstanding refusal to buy books that I haven’t yet read. Heh.

On Sunday, Jason and I went to the only place in town that has duckpin bowling. This is an activity that seems to be cursed for me. I tried to go with a group of friends in January, but right as we arrived, they were shutting down all the lanes for not properly responding. Last Sunday, the facility was super crowded and loud, and the line was very long. Also, it would have been almost $50 for us to play for an hour, whereas it would only be $10 if we played during certain hours M-Th. So we decided to come back on my birthday proper…only to have a large corporate group rent out the entire place not long before we arrived. Sigh. So still no duckpin bowling for me!

The plan on Wednesday, other than the bowling that didn’t happen, was very low key. In the morning, I wanted to go to Mildfire to get my favorite of their speciality drinks, a mocha java shake. I ended up going later during the morning than planned due to Stuff, and then when I got there, their blender was broken and I had to get a regular drink. Boo. At least I had a great book to sit with, and I treated myself to a scone as well. I’ll just have to go back next week and try for a belated birthday shake!

Not much else happened on the day-of. After bowling got taken off the table, Jason and I stopped by the Sanctuary because I had a gift card, but I didn’t find anything I loved enough to buy this time around. We ended up going out to eat at one of our local favorites, Salsalitos, because I wanted comfort food. Jason had spread out my gifts over several days, so I opened the last one, which was the 50mm portrait lens I’d been lusting after for the last six months! (Photo of Angus was my first photo with the new lens.) And one of my three kiddos remembered to say happy birthday. Ha!

Friday, I hung out with some friends for brunch and books, which was delightful. Yesterday, I got to open my final incoming gift. At lunch today, Jason and I will have my birthday meal (laban ummo) and dessert (chocolate & mocha bavarois), and tonight, we’re meeting up with an old friend. (That last part has nothing to do with birthdays, but it’s serendipitous all the same!) After that, the celebrations are over, at least until next weekend, when there’s going to be a belated birthday bash with a group of my girlfriends that involves many of my favorite things. Def looking forward to that adventure!

So it was a vulnerable week, but also one in which I had so many lovely folks around me to bolster and cheer me. It ended up being really great, even if nothing went to plan.

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Lavender House, by Lev AC Rosen (audio)

Posted on March 3, 2023 by Thistle

When Andy Mills is outed and kicked off the police force in 1950s San Francisco, he doesn’t think life has much left in store for him. Then he’s approached by a rich woman who wants him to investigate the murder of her wife. Intrigued by her willingness to openly use the word wife, Andy accepts the job and is taken to Lavender House, where he discovers what seems to be a safe haven – a queer utopia fortified by money and thick walls. But there lies the trouble: If Lavender House is so safe, only someone on the inside could have committed the murder. Discovering the killer will inevitably shatter the illusion of family; leaving them to stay in the shadows will rot the family from within.

This is a very different kind of book than I normally read. It’s very hard-boiled private eye historical fiction, with a queer twist. I saw the book on the recommended shelf at a local indie bookshop, and was intrigued. My library had the e-audiobook available, so I downloaded and began to listen.

The book was good, kept me guessing all the way through, didn’t hold back when it came to describing the horrific treatment of queer folks in the time period, did a marvelous job of adding richness to the theme of found family. At the same time, I don’t see the book really sticking in my memory or holding any longterm place in my heart. I didn’t personally connect with the narrator, and because it was written in first person, all the other characters were filtered through his eyes. I guess I felt about it the way I feel about Sam Spade movies – fun to watch/read in the right mood, and not really my kind of thing on the regular. Doesn’t make it bad, just doesn’t make it great-for-me.

On the other hand, I applaud Rosen for what he did here, and for setting this up as a potential longterm private eye series. I like that he didn’t stay away from the realities of the time, even set in this utopia-like house. Maybe it’s just because this is out of my personal comfort zone, but I’ve never read anything like it, and I think it has potential to be a trailblazer.

Performance: Vikas Adam read the audiobook. It was my first experience with him, and I admit, it was not my favorite narration. I don’t know how much was Adam, and how much was the genre, but it sounded like he was reading to play up the hardboiled detective aspect. I didn’t like the voices, and I could not tell any of the women in the house apart. That last bit may be just because I was editing photos while I listened to the first half of the book, so my brain was divided, but even after that, I often had no idea who was who by voice. However, I’m willing to try Adam again in a different genre, to see if it’s just his style or the style he specifically chose for this book.

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February 2023 in Review

Posted on March 1, 2023 by Thistle

February has been a monster of a month! Not in a bad way, just very, very FULL. I had weeks where there were literally events or appointments going on daily, some of them taking up 16 hours a day! When I wasn’t running around the city, I was mostly on my computer, editing the many, many photoshoots I did this month. I had to cancel several things on my list purely due to exhaustion, including some hikes I’d really wanted to attend and the original date Jason and I planned for Valentine’s. All the busyness and running around led to two massive flares of my autoimmune disorder, and I had my first experience since August of full-on collapse with every bone and joint in my body enflamed. Oy. But honestly, it was worth it. February was a very fulfilling month as well as a full-filled month (ha!). I spent a lot of time with friends both new and old, explored new-to-me places, brought home new foster kittens, and got out of my comfort zone a lot to take the photos I wanted to take this month.

Reading and Watching
My reading was not as impressive or as extensive as in January. I’ve been up and about a lot of the time, so I’m more drawn to audio than print atm. My library has several e-audiobooks available for my BotM books (the physical ones sitting on my TBR shelf) but I’m currently stuck on hold lists, and that limited my reads in Feb. I ended up finishing four books, and unlike January (where I still haven’t picked a fave), there was a clear winner here: City of Nightmares.

Then there were those moments that I was down with a flare. My fingers and wrists hurt so badly that I couldn’t hold a book! While I didn’t watch much of anything in January, there were two big binge-watches in Feb. The first was the new Lockwood & Co series on Netflix. Great adaptation, as I’ve already written about. The second was the episodes-so-far in the newest Murdoch Mysteries season, which I finally have access to. I’ve been dying to get to these since they released starting back in September! One of these days, I need to sit down and watch the movies on my longtime to-watch list, but somehow a two-hour commitment feels far more tedious than watching a 45 min show…even if I watch four of those shows back to back…

Goals
I can’t say I’ve made much progress on non-photography goals this month, except for the ones that are continuous or month-to-month goals. And that’s okay. My photography goals are going well and I’m progressing in a way I truly love, unhindered by anything holding me back, so all is well.

Health/Fitness
As I’ve said, I had two massive flares this month, and a flare involves a spike in inflammation and a drop in mobility. It also messes with sleep, appetite, mood, and general ability to function. I was far more prepared to deal with these flares this time, and I was able to rest up and then resume life as planned for the most part. To me, that’s a win, even if it meant less overall movement/fitness.

Favorite Photos
Once again, these are excluding photoshoot-specific shots! There were quite a number of great shots this month.

Left to right, top row to bottom row: nectarine blossoms encased in ice; hikers gathered under an old, sprawling live oak tree; spiral downwards; Unicorn relaxing in our yard; the foster kitten life; a little boy peeking out from a playground tunnel

Clockwise from top left: America in 2023 – A Portrait of Decay; Marlie and her honorary grandmother; pond through grass; the newest parts of our family; Angus in his blanket-cave

Highlights of February
“Quite busy but also nice” – February, definitely

  • beautiful photos from the early ice storm, and thankfully none of our trees lost branches
  • meeting up with an aspiring model to collaborate on photo shoots; later doing our first collaboration together!
  • discovering (and binge-watching) the Lockwood & Co series; also finally getting to watch Murdoch
  • Petunia got adopted after only two days!
  • a day out at Mildfire, Knight Watch, and the Sanctuary with my friend Sisa
  • Tyler’s graduation, spending time with their family, and especially how welcome and inviting they’ve all been re: Ember
  • Lord Grey and Unicorn slowly getting to know each other and get comfortable around each other
  • exploring beautiful new-to-me trails!
  • watching the Superbowl with Jason, my kiddos all on text, my siblings also on a group chat because the Chief’s win all came down to the last seconds and to my brother’s former student (Harrison Butker)!
  • Morrigan and Katy became officially engaged!
  • kittens kittens kittens: triangle tails and screamy tabbies and tiny uncoordinated pounces
  • spending time out with Kristina, Melanie, and Marlie, including a toddler photoshoot in the park
  • playing velcro ax throwing with friends after a night off for a trash-TV party (ha!)
  • Nowhere Bookshop! It was my first visit to this local independent bookstore and I’m already hooked.
  • strawberry-picking with friends – my first time at a strawberry farm!

Coming up in March
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, March is birthday central! Today is my birthday, and soon we’ll celebrate birthdays for my stepmom, youngest child, mother-in-law, future brother-in-law, father-in-law, a sister-in-law, and another brother-in-law. Hopefully I’ve remembered everyone! Three of those birthdays are all on the same day! Three more are back-to-back, three days in a row. Crazy month, yeah?

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Strawberry Fields

Posted on February 27, 2023 by Thistle

This weekend, my photo circle had a belated Galentine’s shoot scheduled at a local café and bakery. I did all the legwork to prepare for the shoot – going to the business to check out the different seating and light situations, talking to them about what we could/couldn’t do for a shoot, buying cute Galentine’s props, etc. There were originally four scheduled to come in addition to me, but as the day approached, all but one of those folks had to drop last minute for various life reasons. None of them were to blame, life happens, but the sudden collapse of everything I’d planned and done hit me harder than I like to admit. My emotions went into a tailspin, and my brain was scrambling to come up with alternatives. Can’t really do a Galentine’s shoot with one person, and even if I managed to find a second, the cozy café setting would make it look like a couple’s shoot.

I ended up chatting with the last person remaining, and another who really wanted to be there but was at the whims of the virus that had felled her family. We ended up re-planning for a different shoot at the end of the week, and I felt better. Then the next morning, another friend who didn’t originally think she could come to the Galentine’s shoot spoke up, and apparently was planning to be there after all. Furthermore, the friend whose family was sick discovered she was going to be free that day after all. If we hadn’t already rescheduled, the whole shoot would’ve worked out like we originally planned. Heh.

Conversation went into this tailspin of what-should-we-do-and-when, since now there were plans canceled and plans planned. Everything was in a bit of a chaotic flux, and I am absolutely terrible in the face of chaos and change!! Last second changes fluster me, and to top it all off, this started to happen while Jason and I were en route to check out the local bookstore where I’d planned the different shoot for later in the week. So as everyone chatted, Jason was typing out the stuff I dictated to him (I was driving). Long story short, after many sudden changes and new news, three of us decided to carpool northward to a strawberry farm for berry-picking and photos, while a different three of us would also plan for the new shoot later in the week.

It was not where I saw my weekend going, a sudden daycation up to a strawberry farm, but I was very happy to participate! Everything was so last minute that I even grabbed the wrong lens for my camera, ha! I’d been planning to use my Lensbaby Velvet because it’s a better portrait lens with a better handle on midday light (which can be very harsh), and it gives this very dreamy background bokeh that I thought would work well. Instead, I grabbed my 35mm wide angle lens that was certainly good for long background shots (like all the rows of strawberry plants, and the hills in the distance), but less good for any kind of close-up portraits. (Yes, I could have taken more than one, but I was also picking berries, and didn’t want to carry extra bags/cases along with everything else! Not to mention it was very last minute plan changes and you remember how I said those fluster me?) But it is what it is, so we worked with it.

For it being less than ideal conditions – wrong lens, harsh light, completely different setting – this ended up a very fun and cute gal-pal photoshoot. Beyond the shoot, it was just a total blast of a day. The farm (Sweet Berry Farm) was fabulous, the strawberries were perfect for picking, there were some really cute background settings, and the three of us got to spend the entire afternoon and evening together as we carpooled up and back, stopping for early dinner at Bluebonnet Cafe, too, mmmm. Jason and I have since frozen my picked strawberries in small batches and made some strawberry ice cream (mmmmm) with the first batch. Delicious!

I am not good at chaos or last minute changes in plans. My emotions kinda go haywire when things fall apart, especially things I’ve worked hard at and looked forward to. The things I’m getting better at are 1) acknowledging when my heart and headspace aren’t functioning properly, 2) communicating that information to my friends, and 3) embracing new plans rather than backing away from the discomfort of whimsy. I’m also very grateful for the folks I have around me, who help me to stabilize when my emotions are so out of proportion, who include me in fun outings, and who have helped me practice portrait photography and encouraged me so much over this new adventure. I wouldn’t trade these friendships for anything!

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Sunday Coffee – Collaboration

Posted on February 26, 2023 by Thistle

I’ve had so much trouble coming up with a name idea for my photography business. No one can pronounce my last name, so that won’t work. My first name is so very common, and my initial spell AG so that’s also out, ha! I’ve played around with different things but have had no ah-ha moments with satisfactory results.

Except one.

Recently I had a dream that another photographer and I decided to partner together. Their name starts with a Z, so my dream-brain was so excited about the name A to Z Photography. Ha! In reality, I know nothing about this other photographer’s skill or experience level, nor what kind of photography they specialize (or want to specialize) in. We barely know each other, definitely not well enough for a collaboration. Not to mention the name “A to Z Photography” is FAR less mind-blowing once awake. That’s a business name that exists many times over.

Waking up from this dream made me realize something important, however: I am far more excited about the idea of partnering with someone, being on a team, than going at this alone. Just like when I was writing, I’m not very good at self-promotion. I could tell anyone and everyone about my books, but the second I was trying to tell an agent about it – the second my enthusiasm could potentially profit me – it suddenly felt disingenuous. The whole thing was ridiculous. Agents want to find the right author. They profit too! But there is something about promoting myself that feels fundamentally wrong, likely to do with my upbringing. I’ve tried to change that in adulthood, but can’t seem to budge it, it’s so deeply engrained.

In any case, advocating for my team does not feel disingenuous. Even though I’ll profit just the same. Advocating for a team means that I’m advocating for another person in addition to myself, and that feels good. Not just okay, but good. The logic isn’t there. I know. Something about a partnership circumvents my hardwired self-deprecating brake system.

It’s not just about the sales/promotion bit, though. I like teams. I like people. Working together with someone – the right someone – feels better than working alone. Unfortunately, I don’t know who that someone is. I know very few photographers in person, and most of them specialize in event photography or photojournalism. The only photographers I generally see working in teams are event photographers (like for weddings or sports). So yeah, I know, this might be an unrealistic dream of mine. But I can hope, while I’m still trying to figure out what to call this business so I can make a website and all that businessy stuff…

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Pixie Picturesque

Posted on February 24, 2023 by Thistle

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of working with an aspiring model in a collaboration photoshoot. Reneé (they/them) and I met in January at a local coffee shop, Mildfire, where they work. We have since gotten together to talk about collaborating on projects, and this was our first. It was going to be a kind of experiment, to see if we worked well together, and to get a general feel for their style/energy and my photographic and editing style.

And I have to say, for having only a vague idea of tone (elvish and/or witchy), an outfit, and a few props, these photos came out incredible! Reneé is a natural model. They brought a lot of fun, lighthearted, enthusiastic energy to the shoot. They were also really great at following direction when I had to adjust little things, like the tilt of their head or where to put their hands. (Though honestly, for the most part they had a natural instinct about posing!) We worked together pretty seamlessly, and got along really well, too. You know how sometimes you get together with someone and you run into painfully awkward lulls in conversation? There was none of that here. Reneé is the same age as my kids, plus this was only our third time meeting up, so it could have been awkward for many reasons, and it wasn’t at all. We both ended the shoot excited to do more work together in the future.

On another note, every time I do this, I learn so much more about doing this. Probably this is just because I’m still in those early stages, but it’s been fun to see how I’m growing. I’m getting better at giving direction, and at knowing what direction to give. I’m more aware of potential future editing problems by way of stray branches or background litter or weird patches of light/shadow. I’m less self-conscious than I used to be, taking time to properly set up the photos rather than shooting as quickly as possible so the subjects don’t get annoyed. (This was one great thing about working with Reneé: both their mother and their boss are photographers, so they’ve had a lot of experience with real cameras and not the quick point-and-shoot people are used to with phone cameras!)

Overall, this was a wonderful experience. The photos included here are some of my favorites from the finished shots. Reneé and I have quite a number of future projects thought out to add to both of our portfolios. I’m also excited to say that with these photos, I’m going to officially start taking on clients. I still don’t have a name for my business – more on that in my upcoming Sunday post – but I finally feel prepared to say yes, I’m good at this, let’s do this!

Find Reneé on Instagram!

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