Lissa and Kate have been best friends for years, but right before their junior year in high school, the two make out at a party, and suddenly Kate acts as if Lissa no longer exists. Lissa is left confused, both about their friendship and about her sexuality, and it takes a new friend and a lot of soul-searching for Lissa to figure out who she is.

This book was not at all what I was expecting. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It was just different. At first, I was a little disappointed because it started off a bit Sweet Valley High-ish. Too much melodrama, not enough depth. Whiny girls complaining about their whiny little problems and treating each other like crap in the meantime. Not interesting. But then, the book sort of morphed into heavier material. Lissa stopped focusing so much on herself, starting seeing things around her, and started facing her problems. The second half of the book was far more interesting and meaningful. I read the book quickly, in a single morning, but afterwards I was left with my thoughts running all over the place. I spent at least half an hour laying down and just thinking about where the book had gone, and what it had said.

And really, all it said was that sexuality is confusing. It isn’t as black and white as people make it out to be. Sure, there are people who are 100% straight or 100% gay. I know people of both categories. But there are people at all shades of grey in between those two points. “Bisexuality” simply doesn’t cover it. It’s confusing, it’s messy, and there are really no answers. In a way, that message saddened me, because sometimes it’s easier to just have an answer, even if that answer is fictional. Sometimes it’s easier to read a book and be comforted and happy, rather than every bit as confused and messy. Kissing Kate didn’t offer any comfort or solution, and it left me wanting to know more, to know what happens to Kate and Lissa in their next year, their next five years. Everything’s left so uncertain, new, and raw, and I want to know what happens next. What happens next, however, is not the point of the book, and I don’t fault it for ending where it did. However, I was in a melancholy mood when I read it, and had hoped this book would cheer me up. Not quite…

But beyond my own whining about wishing for more – which is actually a compliment to the book despite what I may sound like – I really appreciated the realism that broke out of the melodramatic beginning. I appreciated that the straight people had an easier time than the gay people, that some characters chose to run away from their problems, that some never made any decisions at all. That’s what happens in real life. Not pretty, but real. It was refreshing, though at the same time a bit bleak.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes. It sums up all my babbling above about confusion and sexuality:

“Just because you’re into Kate…well, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay. Although it’s okay if you are. But if that’s what’s worrying you…” [Ariel] sighed. “God. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk about this stuff. All I’m saying is maybe you’re gay and maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re bi. Or maybe it’s totally a Kate thing. Maybe you’d want to be with her whether she was a girl or a boy.”

I blinked. I didn’t know if what she said made things better or worse.