Note: Much of the early part of this post will be medical/technical.

I mentioned a few weeks back that I was having some tests run. Some of those tests will take a full month to hear the results, but the initial round came in after a week. The bad news: my doctor does indeed think I have PCOS. The good news: Because I’ve been really good about paying attention to my body and knowing what it needs, I’ve managed to keep my numbers mostly in a normal range, though on the extreme edges of normal. There was a lot of “progesterone is almost too low” and “testosterone is barely normal, but low enough that a hormone that binds to it is too low.” Etc. Additionally, while my glucose and diabetes tests came out normal, my insulin levels are way too high. I’m definitely insulin resistant, though I’m controlling it as well as possible without aid.

My doctor said we had three choices for treatment: start by addressing the insulin, start with the progesterone, or start treating both together. The last isn’t recommended, as we wouldn’t know what causes which results. Together, we decided to tackle insulin first, because 1) it’s the abnormal result, and 2) fixing the insulin might help the hormone levels to fix themselves. She decided to start me on Metformin, though only a half-dose because my glucose is normal and she didn’t want my blood sugar to drop too low. The goal is to try that out for three months and get retested, to see where to go from there.

Metformin is one of those medications that kicks in right away. During my first day taking it, I felt like hell. I was shaky and weak all day, like my blood sugar was waaaaaay too low. I decided I would keep going for a week, and if I still felt like that, I’d call in and let my doctor know, like she asked. The second day, however, I felt fine. More than fine, actually. I felt stable. I’ve spent the last who-knows-how-long feeling like I constantly needed food, fighting off hunger and shakiness no matter how many calories I consumed. After one day on Metformin, that was gone. I feel like I can eat normally again, the way I used to. Which is awesome.

Of course, I’m also hoping this means that I can lose weight again. I’m tired of gaining despite everything I try, especially as I know REALLY WELL how to lose. To start myself off, I decided to give myself a short-term goal outfit.

This outfit currently looks terrible on me. The pants are the same brand/size I normally wear, but for some reason this particular pair is way too tight. The shirt was a birthday gift from my friend Stephanie, and while you can’t see it here, it includes about 40,000 words from Jane Eyre across it. !!! Like the pants, I can wear it, but it’s too small to wear comfortably, and that makes me super sad because I love it so much. I imagine both will fit well after about 10-15 lbs of loss.

Of course, I can’t know for sure how well any of this will work in the long run. There’s still a lot to figure out about why my body is rebelling. More and more, though, I’m trusting this team of doctors I work with, and I hope that together, we can get me back into good health!